CHAPTER 103: CHAPTER 103: MY TRAITOROUS BODY

Selene’s POV~

The house was perfectly dark when I stepped inside. I reached for the switch by the door, and the light flickered on, pale and steady, chasing the darkness back into the corners. The silence felt thick, pressing against my ears, but it was better than the noise of the world outside.

My body was still trembling, my breath uneven, and the fog in my mind had grown heavier. It was getting harder to focus, harder to see clearly, like my eyes were covered in a thin veil. I knew it would only get worse, so I had to prepare myself before the cycle swallowed me completely.

The first thing I did was lock the door and check it twice to make sure no one could come in. I couldn’t take the risk. Not in this state.

Then I headed straight for the kitchen. My legs felt weak, my hands shaky, but I forced myself to move quickly, pulling open the cupboards, the drawers, and the fridge. I didn’t need anything heavy, nothing that would take time to cook.

I only grabbed what I knew I would need—whatever was easy to reach—and bottles of water that would be my emergency ration. I didn’t trust myself to step outside once the heat took over, so I had to keep everything close, right where I could reach it easily.

Carrying the things in my arms, I made my way through the quiet hall until I found the guest room. It was simple, clean, and empty, and that was enough. I stepped inside and locked that door too.

The air inside felt cooler, and I set all the food and bottles on the bedside table, arranging them quickly before my hands started to tremble again.

My throat was dry, my chest still burning, but I told myself it was fine. I had what I needed. I could stay here. I could hide here until it passed.

I didn’t waste another second. My body felt too heavy, too restless. I pulled off my clothes one by one until only my lingerie clung to my skin, and then I stepped into the bathroom.

The tub was plain and white, but it looked like salvation to me. I turned on the tap, filling it with cold water, the sound echoing softly in the room.

My skin was already damp with sweat, and the steam of my own body heat made the air thick. I didn’t wait for it to fill all the way. I climbed in as soon as it was enough.

The moment the water touched me, I let out a sharp breath, almost a gasp. The cold wrapped around me, but in seconds it began to warm, my burning skin stealing its coolness. I slid deeper, letting it cover me, my body sinking until only my face was above the surface.

A moan escaped me as my pain dulled, my eyes closing on their own. The ache in me didn’t vanish, but for the first time it softened. The restless fire dulled, just a little, and I felt my muscles loosen against the weight of the water.

But soon that relief was also gone. The cold water started losing its goodness. It should have numbed me, but instead it steamed against my skin, turning lukewarm in seconds as though my body’s fire was too strong for it.

The chill that should have soothed me was swallowed up, leaving only more heat, more burning, and more ache.

I pressed myself deeper into the tub, gripping the edges until my knuckles turned white, but the desire crawling through me did not ease.

It only sharpened. My body trembled, my breaths came in ragged gasps, and the tears stung behind my eyes. I wanted to cry, to scream, to beg for it to stop, but the sound stuck in my throat.

This heat was going to break me. It was too much. Too heavy. Too consuming. My body felt like it was losing itself, like it was slipping past every boundary I had ever drawn.

I drained the water and filled it again with ice-cold streams, again and again, desperate to quench the fire inside me. But it was useless.

The moment the water touched me, it grew warm, as if mocking me. I leaned back, my wet hair clinging to my face and bare shoulders, my chest rising and falling too fast, my whole body shaking as if it couldn’t contain what was boiling inside.

I clenched my fists so tight that my nails bit into my palms, trying to hold myself together, but the truth echoed louder in my mind—this wasn’t something I could fight. This wasn’t something I could will away.

The haze thickened until even the walls of the bathroom seemed to blur, and shame burned hotter than the heat in my veins. I hated this. I hated how my body begged for something, anything, to release it. I hated how weak I felt, how helpless.

But I knew what I had done before. I had survived two of these cycles already. I had found a way to endure, a way to make it bearable, even if it left me hollow after. My body remembered that, urging me toward it again.

My face flushed with the thought alone, and I wanted to deny it, to refuse, but deep down I knew I had no choice. If I didn’t release this fire, it would consume me alive.

The shame was crushing, the loneliness even more, but I whispered to myself through gritted teeth:

"I just have to survive this... just survive..."

And soon, I found my hand slipping, unhooking the bra, and tossing it out of the bathtub. My breast instantly jerked as if finally released from captivity, my peaks already hardened, begging for attention.

Shame coiled inside me as my gaze fell on the desire my body craved. I closed my eyes, unable to accept that because of a stupid heat cycle, my body was betraying me like this.

With gritted teeth, my hand began roaming over them, squeezing and pinching those traitorous peaks. An unwilling moan slipped past my lips, and the crimson burning on my cheeks deepened even further.

But still, I didn’t stop. I knew this was the only way to endure this cursed heat cycle...the sooner it ended, the sooner the fire inside me would fade.

Before long, my entire body was bare, even the last scraps of clothing discarded. My hand slid past my abdomen, teasing, touching that forbidden place. My movements grew faster, my head thrown back as the overwhelming heat inside me built toward release.

But just as I was about to fall over the edge, I heard a door creak open...not the bedroom door, but the main door. My mind, already clouded, suddenly snapped into sharp focus out of pure fear. The heat still burned, but dread struck harder.

I flinched at the sound, my whole body freezing, curling in on itself. My thoughts spiraled in panic, my breathing turning labored, dread coiling in my stomach.

Only one question echoed in my mind...just who had come inside? But deep down, I knew it didn’t matter at all. I was already doomed.