CHAPTER 659: I CAN’T

A small, tired smile tugged at his lips. "I mean, seriously, I feel like I have to be on standby just to stop you two from clashing. And man, I’m tired."

Arthur’s silence said more than words.

"I’m sorry," He finally said after a long silence. "I didn’t know it was affecting you this much. I didn’t mean to be a bother."

"No, you’re not," Carl shook his head gently. "It’s just..." He exhaled slowly, gaze dropping for a second. "I’m worried about you two. And honestly, I just need to be sure she has someone in her corner."

Arthur frowned lightly. "But she has you."

Carl’s expression shifted, so briefly that Arthur almost missed it. "What happens when I’m no longer around?" he asked quietly, a flicker of sadness flashing across his face.

Arthur straightened. "I don’t understand. Are you planning a vacation or something? Is there something going on that I don’t know about?" he pressed, moving back toward the living room.

Carl blinked and snapped out of whatever shadow had crossed his features. "No, nothing," he said quickly, forcing a reassuring smile. "Just thinking out loud."

Then, softer, he added, "Every brother wants what’s best for his sister. I’m no exception."

Arthur studied him for a moment, unsure what to make of that tone.

"What’s holding you back, Arthur?" Carl asked suddenly, his calm voice now edged with quiet insistence. "You keep hesitating. You were going to tell her today, weren’t you? But you backed off. You didn’t even try again. You just... gave up."

Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because it wasn’t the right time."

Carl tilted his head. "And when is the right time?"

Arthur leaned back, shoulders tense. "Whenever I stop feeling like I might be betraying Somto if I explore something with her," he admitted, his voice low. "Whenever the world stops trying to kill us for five minutes. Whenever I’m sure she’s safe."

His words hung heavy in the air.

Carl looked at him quietly, understanding, but also a little heartbroken.

"And what’s your ETA for that?" He asked calmly, though his tone carried quiet weight. "When do you estimate you’ll overcome your fear? When will the war end? When will she finally be safe?" He listed each question slowly, giving Arthur time to feel the weight of them.

Silence.

Arthur couldn’t speak for a long moment, because deep down, Carl was right.

"I don’t know," he finally admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

"Exactly." Carl leaned forward slightly, emphasizing the point. "I don’t even need to spell this out for you because you already know it. You’re just... still torn about it."

Arthur exhaled deeply, jaw tightening.

"If Somto were standing here," Carl continued gently, "he would tell you to go for it. You know he would. He wanted Nnenna to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him."

Arthur nodded slowly. Carl’s words hit him right where his guilt lived. He was conflicted, even though he knew deep down he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

"And about people always trying to kill us," Carl went on with a dry half smile, "trust me, I understand that one a little too well. I was literally poisoned not long ago."

Arthur gave a quiet huff that might’ve been a laugh, but it faded quickly when Carl’s tone softened again.

"I thought I could protect Nnenna if I sent her away. Hide her, like Somto did all those years ago." His voice lowered, threaded with something wistful. "Funny enough, I used to think his approach was wrong, until I was faced with the same choice. And I made the same one."

Arthur’s brow furrowed slightly.

"I told her to leave Riverum," Carl said. "To go back to Prigrian, where I thought she would be safer. But that would’ve just been sending her back into hiding."

He gave a faint chuckle, shaking his head. "She refused, of course. Insisted on staying, on being there for me when I needed her. And honestly, Arthur..." His gaze softened. "I’m glad she did. I wasn’t, at first. Especially after everything that happened. But in the end, things turned out for the better."

He paused, eyes distant for a beat before meeting Arthur’s again.

"I’m glad I didn’t send her away kicking and screaming. I’m glad I let her make her own choice."

Carl sat across from Arthur, eyes steady and calm but firm. "Because if I hadn’t, I would be dead right now. She would have lost another brother in just less than a year." he said quietly. "All my power, all my skills, all my resources, none of it mattered. In the end, I still needed a seventeen year old to save me and expose a traitor right under my nose."

He paused, letting that sink in. "Everything that’s happened these past few months has only brought us closer. She might not be ready to talk yet, but I can feel it, she’s carrying something big, something that could change everything. And honestly, I think we should move up our main attack. Waiting a few more weeks feels too long. When things start falling apart, Nnenna’s going to need her people... and she’s going to need you."

Arthur looked up, tension and suspicion flickering across his features.

Carl leaned back slightly, his voice steady but pointed. "If you’re waiting for the ’right time’ to get the place you want in her life, you’re mistaken. There will never be a perfect time. Something will always come up."

Arthur exhaled shakily, trying to avoid Carl’s piercing gaze. "So what do I do?" he muttered.

"Tell her," Carl said simply. "If she feels the same way, great, you’ll face this storm together, stronger. If she doesn’t, it’ll hurt... a lot, but at least you’ll know. Then you can both move forward, whether that means being friends or family. Eventually you’ll let go of your feelings and find someone else to love."

Arthur’s jaw tightened. "I can’t," he said suddenly.