This Human Immortal Is Too Serious
Chapter 333 331: Senior, please behave!
Who am I? Where am I? What exactly does the Queen Mother of the West mean by calling me twice and making me turn my head?
Wu Wang stood rigidly beside the pool, feeling the flow of the Spiritual Energy around him, his feet as if nailed to the ground.
He had already sensed that within the range of his Immortal Consciousness, there were only two presences, himself included.
The sound of running water echoed.
It seemed the Ancient God was slowly emerging from the lake. Wisps of immortal mist spread outwards, enveloping the space and forming a thousand-foot-high chamber.
TAP.
It sounded like the soft heel of a shoe on the stone slab, and also like the light tapping of fingers against jade, as shallow golden light orbs suddenly appeared around Wu Wang.
Before he could react, these light orbs instantly transformed into myriad Treasure Mirrors.
At this moment, Wu Wang's eyes had lost all effectiveness as the reflections in the mirrors cast their light directly onto his Primordial Spirit.
Even with his eyes closed and mind focused, he could not 'reject' what he saw and heard.
Within the mirrors, the divinely beautiful figure stepped forward gradually, each inch of skin illustrating the beauty of the Great Dao, each movement seeming to interpret the rhythm of the Great Dao.
Wu Wang inwardly frowned. Knowing closing his eyes was useless, he closed them anyway.
Suddenly, Wu Wang felt someone speaking behind him, just three inches away.
"HAAH—"
Blowing in my ear? This is typically a teasing technique, often used when a woman takes the initiative. Could it be a trial? Yes, it must be a trial...
Although Wu Wang had no idea why the Queen Mother of the West would test him, he preferred to believe this was a trial.
He then heard a soft laugh, and Wu Wang 'saw' that figure walk slowly around him.
All of a sudden, her pale and translucent skin turned bronze, a leopard's tail appeared behind her, and two pairs of tiger teeth manifested by her mouth. Her figure combined softness and robustness, exuding a certain wildness.
At that moment, Wu Wang's Dao Heart strangely ignited with a flame.
But he quickly sensed that something was utterly amiss. Absolutely amiss!
The Queen Mother of the West, such a powerful Divine Spirit, had to have her unique qualities to stand unchallenged in the Great Wilderness.
Even if Wu Wang shamelessly flattered himself that he had the ultimate potential to live off a woman, he still couldn't believe that such a mighty Divine Spirit would harbor any desire for him. That would be too absurd.
Wu Wang took a light breath and, surprisingly, relaxed quite a bit, his shoulders sinking half an inch.
Like pine, like bamboo. Standing alone in this place, he naturally carried an air of pride.
When the Queen Mother of the West narrowed her phoenix eyes, there was always an indescribable charm, and her slightly rounded cheeks also radiated the vitality of a blooming young woman.
She examined Wu Wang from top to bottom. The tiger teeth and leopard's tail quietly disappeared, and she was once again the fair and radiant Goddess.
Wisps of immortal mist flew over, swirling in front of her chest and abdomen, solidifying into a tube top and short skirt.
She turned her body slightly, casually tied up her long hair, then approached Wu Wang head-on, stopping just three inches from him, gazing intently into Wu Wang's face.
"Why do you not dare open your eyes to look at me?"
Wu Wang, however, was not in a rush to answer. He pondered for a long time, ensuring his words were clear and unambiguous before he spoke, "The Queen Mother of the West is my senior, and I am her junior. As a senior, your character is noble, your realm profound; you've seen through the vanity of etiquette and have comprehended the true essence of the Dao. As a junior, however, I must uphold the order of respect between elders and juniors. It's not that I dare not open my eyes, but I fear that if I did, my Dao Heart would be lost, and the self-restraint at the core of my being would vanish."
"The vanity of etiquette? The true essence of the Dao?"
The expression on the Goddess before him grew strange, and she smirked, "Are you trying to flatter me?"
"You could say that."
Wu Wang slowly opened his eyes, the brilliance in them quietly fading.
He made sure to keep his gaze clear and fixed upon the visage of the Ancient God before him, not shifting it in the slightest.
Controlling one's gaze is actually quite difficult, especially under such circumstances, but Wu Wang reminded himself that one extra look could easily lead to the Queen Mother of the West striking him dead.
His eyes suddenly filled with earnestness.
Suddenly, Wu Wang understood why Shen Nong had said not to treat the Queen Mother of the West as a Goddess.
Wu Wang started to remind himself that the figure before him was an embodiment of a Great Dao, a will of chaos, essentially just a minor ripple on the sea of nothingness.
He began to stretch his imagination. Wu Wang envisioned a standard Central Mountain outfit, fitting it onto the Ancient God before him, and then added a large, flowery padded jacket and thick cotton pants...
His Dao Heart instantly became much more tranquil.
As if detecting the fluctuations in Wu Wang's state of mind, the Queen Mother of the West revealed a slightly satisfied smile.
"Follow me."
With a light tap of her toes, she seemed motionless, yet Wu Wang distinctly felt Heaven and Earth being pulled like a tablecloth, moving on their own.
After a slight daze, they were inside an intricately designed loft.
The Queen Mother of the West reclined, lounging on a jade couch of intermingling green and white hues, her supple body shifting, her phoenix eyes like silk. She gently lifted her hand forward, and a wisp of white mist circled around Wu Wang.
With the change of location, the atmosphere immediately became even more extraordinary.
Wu Wang forcibly steadied his Dao Heart, stood with his hands behind his back in front of the jade couch, and even purposely took half a step back.
The Queen Mother of the West said indifferently, "Have a seat. I don't have any tea or refreshments here."
"Thank you, Senior." Wu Wang felt a chair appear behind him and sat down gracefully, bracing his knees.
The atmosphere in the loft fell into sudden silence.
The Queen Mother of the West rested her cheek on her hand, reclining on the jade couch, scrutinizing Wu Wang's face and form.
Wu Wang sat upright and honestly, enduring the Ancient God's gaze.
At worst, I'll just have to reverse time.
Wu Wang steeled himself, growing even more composed and collected. He revealed a fitting smile and spoke softly, "Senior, may I know why you have summoned me here?"
"For pleasure."
"Oh, so it's for plea... COUGH! COUGH COUGH!"
Wu Wang's throat tightened, his pupils quivered. He looked at the Queen Mother of the West in disbelief, as if asking if she was teasing him.
The Divine Spirit on the couch couldn't help but burst out laughing, rocking back and forth, her body shaking like a flower in the wind.
That trembling figure etched itself into Wu Wang's mind, lingering for a long time.
The wielder of the Divine Punishment Dao chuckled, "Is it not allowed? Why such an expression? Hehehe, truly adorable."
"Senior, please don't tease me."
Wu Wang felt a mix of amusement and helplessness. "This really, truly... is the most terrifying joke I've ever heard."
"A joke?"
The Queen Mother of the West's smile brimmed with amusement, but then her phoenix eyes flashed with an intense oppressive force.
Wu Wang nearly bolted, but he quickly noticed the hint of dejection in the depths of the Queen Mother of the West's eyes.
She said, "Am I not allowed to seek pleasure?"
"Of course you can," Wu Wang replied in a low voice. After a little thought, he continued, "It's just that, for me, the shock is too great... Our moral principles are different."
"Moral principles?"
"Dao is the guideline for action. Virtue is the framework for the heart."
Wu Wang said slowly, "The order of the Human Domain is built upon both Dao and virtue, so I'm unable to accept this proposition right away."
"You're talking about that? Didn't you say etiquette is vanity?" the Queen Mother of the West said indifferently. "Since you're here with me, why not let go of these restrictions and formalities?"
Wu Wang could sense that this Innate God was somewhat displeased.
But ultimately, he could not bring himself to act as if 'one could just close their eyes, open them, and the night would be over.' He could only say, "Senior has her own principles and needn't pay any heed to our Human Domain's rites and customs, but I cannot do the same. I must adhere to Dao and virtue to conduct myself with integrity. Furthermore, my heart is already devoted. Having beloveds in my heart requires me to restrain my speech and behavior so that I can face them with my head held high."
"Being upright and proper, is that important?"
"Very important," Wu Wang smiled. "Only with a clear conscience can one achieve the Great Dao."
The Ancient God was perplexed. "But if we share a night of joy, how could you feel guilty?"
Wu Wang was truly at a loss for words.
Several beautiful figures appeared in his mind, yet he couldn't continue to use romantic affection as a reason. After all, if this Ancient God retorted with, 'Am I inferior to them?' then what would he do?
Moreover, Wu Wang had pretty much figured it out. The Queen Mother of the West had taken a liking to him, but not in *that* way. She simply found his appearance pleasing and had invited him over for some amusement. It was... quite preposterous. But for an Innate God to act this way was not entirely unacceptable.
Besides, the loneliness and solitude that the Queen Mother of the West revealed in her eyes made Wu Wang realize that her spiritual mind was in an unusual state. She seemed somewhat weary.
Wu Wang suddenly thought of Young Master, of the words Young Master had once spoken, and a trace of inspiration flickered through his mind.
He spoke earnestly, "Senior, if you are interested, I can tell you how the rites and rituals of the Human Domain gradually took shape."
The Queen Mother of the West raised an intrigued eyebrow and chuckled, "Then speak, let me hear. If you don't speak well... I may grow discontent with the Human Domain."
Wu Wang nodded, chose his words carefully, and began to ramble.
He first recounted how the current concept of rites and rituals in the Human Domain had gradually evolved. He then detailed the wedding customs of mortals and Cultivators, supplementing his explanation with the changing trends of the Northern Wilderness.
Wu Wang spoke fluently and methodically, gradually getting into his element.
The Queen Mother of the West, however, lay on the couch resting her cheek in one hand... and drifted off to sleep.
"Senior? Senior?"
Wu Wang blinked, wondering to himself for a moment if Yun Zhongjun had intervened somehow. The Queen Mother of the West was truly a rare beauty among deities. To measure an Innate God by the moral concepts of good and evil from the Human Domain was somewhat unfair, but Wu Wang's own perceptions aligned closely with those of the Human Domain. One night of pleasure or something like that... Forget it. He wasn't Emperor Shun, who could sire an entire country in his lifetime.
Wu Wang quickly regained his composure. Seeing that the Queen Mother of the West was in a deep slumber, he dared not disturb her and tiptoed out of the loft.
When he turned his head, he discovered that this was a pavilion surrounded by water. Jade trees and red flowers were soaked in a foot of Spiritual Liquid, beneath which lay intermittent patches of green moss and stone slabs.
Birds twirled in the sky, small Spirit Beasts bounced on the branches, and occasionally, Spirit Fish flicked their tails in the water.
This truly was a fine place.
Wu Wang stretched lazily, closed his eyes, and focused his spirit, preparing to bid farewell once the Queen Mother of the West awoke. Such matters required mutual consent and amicable discussion. Forcibly picked melons are usually not sweet. He, a proper Human Immortal, had read the "Spring and Autumn Annals" in his past life!
...
「In a beautiful valley at the Northern Border of the Human Domain.」
A few peach trees, a bed, and several beauties playing soothing music nearby.
The Sleep God shifted his somewhat plump figure, found the most comfortable position on a golden pillow, and closed his eyes for a short nap.
Though he wore a faint smile, he was muttering to himself in bewilderment, "Strange, why would the Queen Mother of the West summon brother Wu Wang? What had he done before?"
Yun Zhongjun had actually had dealings with the Queen Mother of the West.
She was ruthless and eccentric. He had never heard of her doing anything earth-shattering; even during the peaceful divine era, she rarely showed herself.
Yun Zhongjun carefully traced back through his vast, sea-like memory, searching for information about the Queen Mother of the West.
Soon, he entered a mysterious Dream Realm. In that realm, he split into dozens of avatars, all pondering and debating with themselves simultaneously.
"Something's not right. The Queen Mother of the West has never left the Kunlun Ruins."
"To be precise, unless a world-changing event occurs, she would always remain in the Kunlun Ruins."
"According to ancient rumors, the Kunlun Ruins hide some secret, possibly related to the disappearance of the first divine era."
"The vast majority of the current strong Innate Gods were born in the second divine era; there was a discontinuity between the first and second divine eras..."
Before long, Yun Zhongjun suddenly opened his eyes.
A significant revelation flashed before his eyes. Yun Zhongjun's Adam's apple trembled slightly, his expression filled with shock: The Will of Heaven and Earth! The Divine Punishment Dao!
Immediately after, the image of Wu Wang sitting in his Sleep God Hall, coughing up blood, arose in Yun Zhongjun's mind.
"Forget it, forget it. That guy can handle it himself."
Yun Zhongjun yawned and slowly leaned back down.
"Take care, brother."ŸŸŸ
「Meanwhile, in the Kunlun secret realm.」
Wu Wang stood silently on the surface of the water as if he had entered a state of Enlightenment. The Queen Mother of the West, however, had opened her eyes at some unknown point, now holding a Treasure Mirror with a nearly worn-out pattern in her hand.
She frowned slightly, looking at the figure appearing in the mirror, and then glanced towards the door.
A wisp of malevolence quietly flashed through her eyes.