CHAPTER 38: CHAPTER 38 UNDER MY CONTROL

*ALORA*

My eyelids opened slowly as I tried to make sense of where I was.

Sunlight was trying to filter through the drapes but it was weak early morning sunshine, and the glow turned the room to a dark blue.

I closed my eyes again, trying to snuggle my aching head down into the warm pillow I was lying my head on.

I held onto the pillow, tightly because it felt so good to hold.

But why was the pillow so warm and at the same time, it wasn’t soft as I remember.

Plus, it had another scent.

Curiously, I opened my eyes, I looked down to see that I was resting my head on a man’s chest.

In shock, I screamed and moved away, sitting up, immediately.

It was Caden!

Why was he half-naked and on my bed?!

I looked down at myself, my dress had rolled down to my belly and my boobs were exposed, I quickly covered myself with the duvet.

My scream seemed to have woken him up, he blinked and yawned.

What did he do to me?

I mentally examined myself.

My panties were still on, that was a good sign.

It didn’t seem like I had been touched last night.

Still, he could’ve done something to me.

Caden rubbed his face as he sat up.

“Good morning. Sorry, I was waiting for you to sleep so I’ll leave, I guess I slept off too.”

I was beyond pissed.

“How could you?! I am reporting you for sexual assault!”I thundered, wrapping my body with the duvet and getting out of the bed to find my phone.

“Sexual assault?”He asked, incredulously as he got out of the bed too.

“Yes, you’re half-naked and on my bed!”

“If anyone should be reported for sexual assault, it should be you!”He shot back.

I gasped.”I don’t remember what happened last night but I was definitely drunk and you took advantage of me!”I accused.

“You took advantage of me!”He argued.

“How could I? I was fucking drunk.”

“I will help you remember what happened then.”He took a step forward and I moved back.

“You touched me against my will.”He let out, moving closer to me.

“You made me strip against my will.”

I marched his every step with a backward one.

“You touched my body against my will!”

“You kissed me against my will. And you were literally forcing me to have sex with you.”

I shook my head in disbelief, I couldn’t have done all that, right?

No.

I was a woman with a great self-esteem and values, I couldn’t have...

I held my aching head as memories flooded in.

Memories of Caden carrying me out of the club, touching him in the car, throwing up in my bathroom and him assisting me, forcing him to strip, touching his chest, pulling him down with me on the bed and making him kiss me.

Literally begging him to fuck me and him trying to reason with me. I had held him, stopping him from leaving last night.

My cheeks heated up so bad and I couldn’t face him.

He was standing before me now but I lowered my head.

I was too ashamed to look at him. I wanted to hide, to hide from him.

“Seeing how you can’t look at me, I guess you remember now.”

I bit my lower lips, nervously.

He gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him.

“Now, I should ask for compensation, shouldn’t I? Imagine how the public would react to this, the headlines will read ‘Actress, Alora Harper took advantage of her bodyguard”

“I’m...I’m sorry, I...was drunk, I...I don’t know what came over me.”

Knowing that I was in the wrong now, I felt ashamed, embarrassed but also guilty.

Even if I was drunk, forcing him to do things with me was wrong.

His hand was still on my chin.

“I didn’t know you could be so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

I tugged my chin away from his fingers.

“I’ll...I’ll give you any compensation you want, so can you let it slide, please?”

He smiled, cockily.”I’ll think about it.” With that, he moved away from me.

I watched him grabbed his shirt from the ground.

As he started to put it on, I swallowed, my eyes running through his muscular frame.

Realizing I was drooling over him, I shook my head.

What was wrong with me?!

I was not drunk anymore!

I have to snap out of it!

I looked away from him.

“Do you still want me to fuck you today?”

Those words made my breath hang in my throat.

I recalled that he had negotiated doing it today and that was how I finally stopped urging him to fuck me.

I was sure my face was even redder than a tomatoes.

I couldn’t even form a word.

He then laughed. He was so enjoying teasing me. “See you later.” With that, he left my room.

“Ahh!”I whimpered and rushed to the bed.

Falling on it, I buried my head into the pillow.

*Why do you keep saying that? Just fuck me already.*

My own voice ran through my head.

I was literally begging to be fucked.

Ugh!

I’m never getting drunk again.

Never. Never!

How do I recover from this shame?

And it had to be with Caden.

Someone I was supposed to despise.

I didn’t leave my room for the rest of the day. I couldn’t bring myself to.

I was too ashamed to face him.

I had my housekeeper bring the hangover soup, lunch and dinner up to my room.

I couldn’t bring myself to face him.

Towards evening, my mom called.

I had been ignoring her calls for days now. She kept urging me to get married. At this point in my life, I still didn’t think marriage or relationship was for me.

Over the years, I had tried to get into relationships, I had dated about two but those relationships didn’t last.

I got bored so easily. Plus, it felt like I couldn’t give my heart to any man. Maybe for fear that they would crush it.

It’s just, I think I don’t have a romantic bone in my body anymore.

But my mom keeps wanting me to get married and give her grandkids.

It was at times like this that I hated being an only child.

If I had another sibling, maybe she’d let me loose a little bit.

Since I haven’t been picking her calls in a while now, I guessed maybe she had given up trying to matchmake me.

I picked up. “Hello, mom.”

“Mom? Am I still your mother? I call you on the phone, you don’t answer, I call into your house and I’m told you aren’t home.”

She began.

I winced.

Maybe I had gone too far. I had missed hanging out and talking to my mom.

After all, she was the only family I had left.

If only she’d stop trying to set me up with a man.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with work.”

“Work? It’s always work. Work, work, work. Do you even know how to enjoy yourself?”

“I am enjoying my work.”

“Alora, I know you’re a strong, independent woman, I truly am proud of you, but how about you consider settling down?”

I closed my eyes.

Yeah, she was still onto this.”Mom...”

“You don’t have to worry. I’ll plan everything. You know Mrs Rita, right? She wants to arrange a marriage for her son, she has a strong liking for you and thinks you two will be a perfect match.”

I rolled my eyes.”You want me to have an arranged marriage now?”

“I know that’s not ideal these days, but I’ve been waiting for you, I’ve been waiting for you to fall in love the normal way and get married. But that’s not happening, so I figured, maybe you’re destined for an arranged marriage, love can come in later.”

“I’m not interested, mom.”

“Just think about it, my dear. I’ve met with him, he’s a good man.”

Does she really think I’d just marry who I don’t know?

But for her peace of mind, I said. “I’ll think about it.”

“Yes! That’s my girl.” Then she changed the topic.

********************

Caden moved closer to me.

"Is there something you want?"The backs of his fingers stroke my face and his eyes seared my soul.

Caden, the man who I was supposed to want nothing to do with.

"You"The words were barely audible.

He groaned. “You never cease to surprise me" He said leading me into the bedroom.

“Do you like surprises?"

"From you, very much"

I tugged at his shirt until it slipped out of the waistband of his jeans.

"Are you going to undress me?" Caden’s voice was hoarse, like he had stopped breathing.

I eyed him from beneath my lashes.

"Yes"

I could do this.

And with brave but trembling fingers, I undid the lowest of his shirt buttons.

I glanced up at him.

"Go on" He coaxed, his tone is soft and seductive.

I heard the burgeoning excitement in his voice.

It fed my desire.

I undid the next one up, revealing the top button of his jeans and the line of hair that pointed to his abs.

The next button revealed his navel and his honed stomach muscles.

His breathing altered, rising rapidly.

The sound excited me, and my fingers flew up his shirt, unfastening it until it was hanging loose and open, revealing his chest.

I was longing to lean forward and place my lips against his flesh.

"What now, Rara?"

He was waiting.

"What should I do?" I asked trying not to sound timid.

"Do whatever you want with me.” He urged.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the warmth of his chest, where his heart thundered beneath his skin.

*******************

I jerked up awake from sleep, panting heavily.

I was covered in sweat.

What sort of dream was that?

I wasn’t even safe in my sleep.

I sat up, dejectedly.

It had looked so real.

I wrapped my arms around my body not understanding myself.

First, I tried to seduce him while I was drunk.

And now, I was dreaming about him?

Ugh!

Why was he plaguing my mind?

I glanced at the wall clock, it was past midnight.

I laid back on the bed, trying to sleep but I couldn’t.

I tossed and turned on the bed.

And then I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling.

My mind reeled back to Caden carrying me up the stairs.

I recalled how gentle he was with me when I threw up, the way he held my hair back, the way he washed my face.

I recalled seeing a bulge between his legs.

I couldn’t blame him for that though.

He must have gotten hard from all that touching.

*You’re drunk, Alora, you don’t even know what you’re saying.*

I recalled the panicked look on his face as he said these words, as I tried to force him to sleep with me.

It was impressive that he didn’t.

After all, I had pushed him to his limit and asked for it.

Not all men could say no to that.

I didn’t know Caden was so gentlemanly.

Thinking of him like this made my body buzz with excitement.

I was so turned on.

I could feel the wetness between my legs making my panties stick to me.

I needed to cum.

Bad.

I tossed my duvet aside and slid my white cotton panties down my legs.

I slowly teased my clit.

Spreading my legs wider, I started to slide a finger into my pussy.

I closed my eyes and fought past the shame I feel from the face I saw in my mind.

Caden.

In my mind, everything about him was hard, from his eyes to the set of his jaw.

I pictured him giving me the same heated look he gave me when I caressed his chest.

Rubbing my pussy, I couldn’t help but think how strong these emotion was.

It was intoxicating.

I felt alive.

Sliding my finger in and out of my pussy, I pretended it was his cock thrusting in and out of me.

I shuddered at the shock of desire that shot up my spine.

He would be so hot.

He would hold my legs open and put his face between them.

He would need to taste me.

He would use his tongue and fingers to drive me more insane.

He would be so worried about hurting me because I would mean everything to him.

He would do it for hours, just worshiping me, not caring about anything else in the world.

Only I would matter, I would be his everything.

“Caden!” I moaned as streaks of pleasure went through my body.

My skin tingled as I thought of all the things he would do to my body.

I started to stroke my clit again, faster, until the orgasm broke through.

I shuddered as pulses ran through my body, leaving me shaky and weak.

My climax hit me hard and it was all I could do to hold myself up as I rode out the wave of pleasure.

Oh.

I looked down and saw the wet spot my cum had left behind.

I had just came so hard thinking about him.

He was my first time and though we had sex a couple of times before we broke up but it’s been so long and I was curious.

Curious to know how he’d feel now.

No!

I shouldn’t be.

I could get hurt.

This was as far as I could go.

I must get these desires under my control.