CHAPTER 110: NO GOOD THOUGHTS

FIA

He laughed. The sound rang through the infirmary and bounced off the sterile walls. This time the tension in his shoulders actually left him. His whole body seemed to uncoil.

"I cannot believe this." He shook his head. Genuine amusement lit his features. "You are an Alpha’s daughter. Surely you must have been to multiple events where you had to dance."

"Not really." The admission came easier than I expected. "When I was younger, my mother tended to avoid events along with me because..."

I paused. The words caught in my throat.

"She was my father’s second wife and also an Omega." The truth tasted bitter. "I guess the scrutiny and judgement were too much for her and she didn’t want that for me as well."

The memories surfaced unbidden. My mother’s careful smile that never quite reached her eyes at pack gatherings. The way she’d find excuses to leave early. How she’d hold my hand a little tighter when Isobel swept past us with Hazel trailing behind like a golden shadow.

The small sacrifices she made. The way she’d step aside. Defer. Fade into the background so my stepmother could shine.

Life wasn’t always simple for her at Silver Creek. And I’d never really let myself see it clearly until now.

I cleared my throat. "That part just stuck. So even when I was older and things were a bit more lax, I didn’t like going myself."

Cian studied me for a moment. Something shifted in his expression. Understanding maybe.

"Well, do you want to practice?" He stood from his chair and stretched his arms above his head. "Even if you don’t want to dance, there will be some weirdo who will want to. And the last thing you want to be referred to in high society is snobbish and rude."

"Here?" I glanced around the infirmary. "There is no music."

"We have a hall, you know." His lips quirked. "And there is some beautiful classical music as well."

I wanted to refuse. The words formed on my tongue. But Cian looked like he really wanted to help. Like he needed this distraction as much as I apparently needed the lesson.

And maybe I did need it. The wedding loomed ahead whether I liked it or not. But was a few hours enough to learn something?

"Yes." I said finally. "Alright."

He got up immediately. "Alright."

We left the infirmary together. I realized as he led me through the corridors that I’d never really checked Skollrend since I arrived. Not properly. I’d been too caught up in everything else. The hatred most of them had for me. The poison. The accusations. The weight of it all pressing down.

The hallways opened into larger spaces. High ceilings appeared above us. Ornate fixtures caught the light.

Cian pushed open a set of double doors. They swung wide to reveal a massive room. Polished floors stretched out before us. Windows lined one wall and let in receding moonlight that painted everything silver.

So this was the hall. Or maybe it was the ballroom.

He ran to a corner. Bent down and fiddled with something I couldn’t see. Music started to play. The classical kind. Strings and piano that filled the space with something beautiful and melancholy.

"Let us begin." He turned back to me. "Lose the slippers."

I kicked them off. They skidded across the floor.

He toed off his shoes as well. Left them in a neat pair by the wall.

We met in the center of the room. His hand extended toward me. Palm up. It was an invitation.

I took it. His fingers closed around mine. Warm and steady.

His other hand settled on my waist. Light but firm. "Just follow my lead."

I nodded and tried to focus on the steps instead of the way my heart had started hammering against my ribs.

He moved and I tried to follow but my two left foot tangled. I stepped directly on his toes.

"Sorry." I winced.

"Imagine those were heels." He said it without any real heat.

I laughed despite myself. "That makes it worse."

"Here." He adjusted his grip slightly. "Feel where I’m going to step before I do it. Through the bond if you have to."

I tried again and paid attention to the shift in his weight. The subtle pull of his hand guiding mine.

This time I only stepped on him twice.

"Better." He said. "What helps is thinking of it like sparring. Action and reaction. I move, you counter."

I applied that logic and let my body respond to his movements like we were circling each other in a training ring instead of a ballroom.

My feet found the rhythm and I started to anticipate instead of just react.

"You are a fast learner." Approval colored his voice.

"I try."

"But that was simple." His eyes gleamed with something that might have been mischief. "Let us go for a more complex one."

The score ended and another immediately began. This one faster and more intricate.

He raised his hand at me. "Take it."

I did.

"This is my favorite." He said as he pulled me closer. His hand spread wider on my waist.

"Why?" I asked.

"Mads..." He paused. Stopped moving entirely.

Madeline... The name hung between us. Heavy with everything unsaid.

I realized what this was about. What song this must have been. What memories it carried for him.

"It is no problem." I said quietly. "You are allowed to linger."

"No." His voice came out rough. "I am not."

I wanted to know more about Madeline. Maren had told me a little. Enough to sketch the outline of who she’d been. But not enough to fill in the details.

"I think about mine sometimes." The confession slipped out before I could stop it.

Cian scoffed. "The one who cheated and betrayed you?"

We started moving again. Slower this time. Like we were both testing something fragile.

"Well yes." I met his eyes. "Before Milo revealed the depths of his depravity, he was really quite nice. He was going to take me to his mother. He told me his brother would love me."

The memories came back. Milo’s smile. The way he’d held my hand. How I’d believed every word he said.

"It really is hard getting over the best version of someone you once knew." My throat tightened. "I’m sure you feel that way."

Cian was quiet for a moment. His grip on my hand shifted slightly. "I can’t complain. It was me who shattered what we had."

I waited. But all that seemed to happen for a long while was that the silence just stretched.

"She was convinced I was going to choose a mate that was a werewolf if I contested for my father’s seat and won." His voice dropped lower. "It didn’t help that we weren’t fated from the jump. And she had no faith that the moon goddess would accept her when we tied the knot."

He pulled me through a turn. My body followed without thinking.

"And she was right." He added. Somber now.

I wondered. Was it because the goddess blessed ours? Or because he married me?

"Because you married me?" I asked.

"Partly." He said. "But she was right in the sense that she wasn’t the highest priority. I chose Skollrend over her."

The admission settled between us. Honest and raw.

"If you could..." I started. I tried to choose my words carefully. "If there was a chance your paths would cross again and you could make things right, would you choose her?"

"I choose to reside in reality." His jaw tightened. "And there is no way it happens in this world."

"If." I pressed.

"Are you scoping the chances you can get free of me?" Something sharp entered his tone.

I chuckled. The sound came out lighter than I felt. "No. But if I was, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Would it? This union is a sham built on punishing me anyway."

The words landed wrong. I felt it immediately.

The mate bond on his side slammed shut. His shields went up so fast I barely registered the movement.

Before I could focus on why, his grip on my waist tightened. He pulled me close. So close I could feel his hot breath against my face.

"Is it?" His voice came out low. Dangerous.

My heart stuttered. "Cian—"

"Is it?" He repeated. His eyes held mine. Dark and intense and burning with something I couldn’t name.

The music swelled around us. We’d stopped moving and stood frozen in the middle of the ballroom with his hand pressed against my waist and mine still caught in his.

"That’s what you said." My voice came out quieter than I meant it to. "That this was punishment."

"I say a lot of things." His thumb moved against my side. Small circles through the fabric of my shirt. "Most of them when I was angry."

"And now?" The question barely made it past my lips.

"Now." He said. Then stopped. His gaze dropped to my mouth and I could swear they lingered there.

The mate bond hummed between us. Alive and electric despite his shields. I could feel it pulling. Urging.

"Now I don’t know what this is." He finished. Honest again. Raw again.

I should have stepped back. I should have put distance between us. But my feet wouldn’t move.

"Neither do I." I admitted.

His hand slid higher on my waist. Not quite an embrace but close. So close.

He exhaled like I had just cracked something open inside him. His thumb finally slipped under the hem of my shirt, hot against my skin, a slow stroke that stole my breath. He felt the way I reacted, you could not hide everything from the bond, and something in him shivered, then gave way.

He edged closer, nose brushing my cheek, his mouth hovering right over mine, close enough my lips tingled with the heat of him. Testing the fire. Tempting himself with it.

Then he finally broke.

His lips met mine slow at first, tender and careful, like he was not sure I would let him. Then I kissed him back, wanting, needing, and that tiny hesitation vanished as he pulled me fully into him. His mouth deepened against mine, warm and sure, heat spilling through me as his fingers clutched my waist and dragged me flush to his body.

I let out a soft hungry sound into his mouth and he swallowed it hungrily, tilting my head with his hand at my jaw so he could kiss me harder, deeper, tongue sliding against mine in a hot, shaky stroke that made my knees weaken.

My fingers clung to his shoulders, pulling him closer, and he answered with a low, rough grunt from his chest that vibrated right through my lips as he kissed me again and again, each kiss wetter, needier, the kind that left my breath tangled with his.

His mouth tugged at my lower lip, teeth catching gently, pulling a soft ahh from me before he sealed his lips back over mine, kissing me like he had been aching for this, like he had finally stopped fighting the bond and wanted every inch of me he could reach.