CHAPTER 53: THE PERVERT

CIAN

I leaned against the corridor wall and pressed my palm against my forehead.

What the hell was wrong with me?

The touch of her skin still burned on my fingertips. Her lips had been so soft against my palm, and the warmth of her breath had seeped through my skin like it could reach somewhere deeper. Somewhere I didn’t want it to go.

I pushed off the wall and started walking again. My chambers weren’t far, but each step felt heavier than it should have been.

She’s different than we thought.

The voice came from inside, from the part of me that was the other and same all at once. My wolf had been stirring all evening, restless and insistent.

"Shut up," I muttered under my breath.

Hazel and her mother lied. Fia didn’t deceive us. She was just trying to save her pack.

"She still went along with it," I said. "She still stood there and let it happen."

Because she had to. If you were in her shoes, you would have done the same.

I clenched my jaw. The fact that it was true made my blood boil so I just ignored it.

At least I tried to. Desperately.

"That doesn’t change anything," I said.

It changes everything. Your mother was right. The goddess knew what she was doing.

"What do you know anyway?" I stopped outside my door and fumbled for the handle. "You’re just the animalistic part of me."

I am you. The voice came softer now, almost gentle. The part of yourself you should be honest with.

I ignored that and pushed open the door. The room was exactly as I’d left it this morning. The bed was made and the curtains were drawn. Everything was in its place. Just like I liked it.

"I need a bath," I said to no one in particular.

The wolf didn’t respond, but I could feel its presence like a weight of lead in my chest. It was watching and waiting.

I stripped off my shirt and tossed it onto a chair. Then my pants and my socks. Everything until I was standing naked in the middle of my room, skin prickling from the cool air. I rolled my shoulders and headed for the bathroom.

The marble floor was cold under my feet. I turned the tap and water rushed into the tub, steam rising almost immediately. I’d set it hot. Hot enough to scald. Maybe that would clear my head.

While the tub filled, I stared down at my right hand.

The same hand that had covered her mouth. The same hand that had felt her breath ghost across my palm, warm and quick. I could still feel it. The softness of her lips. The heat of her skin. The way she’d frozen when I touched her.

Without thinking, I brought my hand to my face and inhaled.

Her scent hit me like a punch. Sweet and clean with something underneath that was hers and hers alone. Something that made my wolf stir again, more insistent this time.

Pervert.

I jerked my hand away from my face.

"Fuck," I breathed. "I’m losing it."

I shoved my hand under the rushing water, scrubbing at my palm like I could wash away the memory of her. The water was scalding now, but I didn’t pull back. I just watched her scent disappear down the drain before I clogged it back.

This was a mistake... Sharing a room with her was a terrible idea.

What would it be like during heat season? The thought slammed into me before I could stop it. Her scent would be everywhere. Thick, heady and impossible to ignore. I’d have to smell her every second of every day, and my wolf would lose whatever control it still had.

I turned off the tap with more force than necessary.

"Don’t think about it," I told myself. "Deal with it when it happens."

The tub was full now, steam curling up from the surface. I stepped in and sank down until the water reached my shoulders. The heat bit into my skin, but I welcomed it. Pain was easier to deal with than whatever the hell this feeling was.

I closed my eyes and tried to think about something else. Anything else.

Alpha Julius. The wedding invitation. That was safe. That was work and politics.

Julius’s wedding was going to be a spectacle. Every major pack would send representatives, and they’d all be looking for weaknesses and strength to exploit. It was the kind of event where alliances were tested and power dynamics shifted.

I couldn’t go alone. That would look weak.

And I couldn’t just bring anyone either. Not to something this important.

My mother’s face appeared in my mind. The way she’d looked at Fia during dinner. The approval in her eyes. She actually liked the girl. After one meal, my mother had decided Fia was acceptable.

Which meant I’d have to bring Fia to the wedding.

Another event where we’d have to pretend we could stand each other. Another day of playing the perfect Alpha and his equally perfect mate.

I sank lower in the water until it covered my chin.

At least she’d be easy to dismiss. She was plain. Pretty enough, sure, but nothing special. Nothing that would draw too much attention or make anyone look trice.

Except.

The memory of her in that dress pushed its way into my head. The way the blue fabric had clung to her curves. The way her hair had been braided in soft coils that complimented her face. The way the candlelight had caught in her dark doe eyes and made them look like they were glowing.

She’d looked beautiful tonight. Not pretty. Beautiful.

And that had been with minimal effort. No elaborate styling. Just a dress and some attention to her hair.

What would she look like if she was actually trying?

I sat up so fast water sloshed over the edge of the tub.

"Stop," I said out loud. "Stop thinking about her."

My voice echoed off the marble walls, harsh and too loud.

I sounded mad. Maybe I was.

I grabbed the soap and scrubbed at my skin until it turned red. Then I ducked my head under the water and held my breath until my lungs burned. When I came up, I felt slightly more in control.

I could do this. It was one night. That was all it was.

I climbed out of the tub and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my hips. Water dripped down my chest and back, leaving dark spots on the marble floor. I should probably get dressed before she arrived. That would make things less awkward.

I ran my hand through my wet hair and pushed it back from my face. Then I opened the bathroom door.

And stopped cold.

Fia stood in the middle of my room.

She stared at me and I stared back.

She was wearing a nightgown. Pink and sheer with lace along the edges. The fabric barely reached mid-thigh, and the straps were so thin they looked like they might snap. Over it she’d thrown on a matching robe that did absolutely nothing to hide the outline of her body underneath.

Her hair was still damp from her shower. It fell in dark waves around her shoulders, and a few drops of water clung to her collarbone.

She looked like something out of a dream. The kind of dream I shouldn’t be having.

Her eyes went wide, then wider still, tracing a slow path from my face down to my chest, lingering there for a breath too long before dropping to the towel slung low around my hips. Color bloomed across her cheeks, soft and vivid, as her lips parted just slightly, like she’d forgotten to breathe.

Then she turned, quick and flustered, the movement a rush of air and heat, her balance slipping for an instant as if even her body couldn’t decide whether to run or stay.

"I’m so sorry," she said, her voice high and rushed. "The sentinel let me in. I didn’t think you’d be naked."

I just stood there like an idiot, water still dripping off me onto the floor. My brain had stopped working. All I could process was the image of her in that nightgown. The way the fabric moved when she turned. The curve of her waist. The bare skin of her legs.

Say something, my wolf urged.

But what the hell was I supposed to say?

She kept her back to me, her shoulders tense. "I can wait in the hall. Or the lounge. Just tell me where to go."

"It’s fine," I managed. My voice came out rougher than I intended. "Give me a minute."

"Of course. Yes. Take your time."

She didn’t move though. She just stood there with her back to me, her hands clutching the edges of her robe like it could protect her from the awkwardness.

I forced myself to move. I crossed to my wardrobe and pulled out sleep pants. I dropped the towel and yanked the pants on as quickly as possible, very aware that she was only a few feet away.

"You can turn around now," I said.

She hesitated. Then slowly turned. Her eyes met mine for half a second before darting away again. The blush on her cheeks had spread down her neck.

"Sorry," she said again. "I should have maybe knocked or made my presence known."

"The sentinel should have waited for me to answer," I said. "It’s not your fault."

The silence that followed was thick enough to choke on. Neither of us seemed to know what to do with ourselves. She stood near the door. I stood near the wardrobe. The space between us felt like a canyon.

My wolf stirred again. She looks good.

"Shut up," I muttered.

"What?" Fia’s eyes snapped to me.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just talking to myself."

Her brow furrowed. She looked like she wanted to ask but thought better of it.

I gestured toward the bed. "You can take that side. I’ll take the other."

She glanced at the bed. Then back at me. "We’re really doing this?"

"You said you would. To put my mother’s mind at ease."

"I did say that." She walked toward the bed slowly, like it might bite her. When she reached it, she sat down on the very edge of the mattress, as far from the center as physically possible.

I rounded to the other side and sat down too. The bed was large enough that there was plenty of space between us, but it still felt too small. Too intimate.

I could smell her from here. That same sweet scent that had clung to my hand. It filled the room now, impossible to ignore.

This was going to be a very long hard night.