CHAPTER 57: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME (M)

FIA

The quiet stretched long after he spoke. It filled every corner of the room, heavy and alive. The sound of his breathing, steady and calm, became the only thing I could hear apart from my own heartbeat. It should have made me uneasy, knowing he was right behind me, but instead, it began to settle something restless inside me.

The tension in my shoulders eased little by little. I adjusted my position, tucking the edge of the blanket tighter beneath my chin. The sheets were warm from his body heat, the faint scent of pine stronger now that we shared the same air. My eyelids grew heavier, though I fought the pull of sleep for a while, unwilling to give in. It felt too strange, too intimate.

I told myself not to relax. That this meant nothing. That I couldn’t afford to let my guard down, not with him. But the warmth was coaxing. The silence felt safer than it should have, and the exhaustion I’d been holding off all evening finally started to creep through.

I breathed in slowly, then out, listening to the rhythm of his breathing sync with mine. My body began to loosen its hold on wakefulness. My mind drifted, tracing half-formed thoughts.

I thought about my mother again. The smell of herbs and the sound of her voice whispering remedies under her breath. The nights I stayed awake just to make sure she was still breathing. The way the rot had crept across her skin like frost, quiet and merciless.

I had watched her fade, piece by piece, and now someone else’s son was about to do the same.

"Cian," I said softly, though I wasn’t sure why. My voice was half swallowed by the pillow.

"Hm?"

The hum of his reply vibrated through the space between us.

I hesitated. There were so many things I could have said. Questions I wanted to ask, accusations I could have thrown. But all that came out was a quiet, "Your mother’s lucky to have you."

For a long moment, there was nothing. Then, just as my mind began to slip into the edge of dreaming, he said, "I’m not so sure about that."

The weight in his tone pressed against me, thick with something unspoken. Guilt, maybe. Or grief. I wanted to turn over, to look at him, but my body was too heavy now. My breathing was too slow.

"Don’t say that," I murmured, not sure if I was still awake.

He didn’t answer. I thought I heard him shift, like he wanted to respond but changed his mind.

The silence came back, softer this time. It settled around us like a blanket. My thoughts wandered somewhere far away, slipping between past and present, between memory and the faint awareness of his presence.

His scent stayed close. The quiet sound of his breathing steadied me in a way I couldn’t explain. It had been a long time since I’d felt this calm. Even if the reason behind it was wrong.

The edge of sleep blurred everything. The room, the tension, the bitterness.

At some point, I thought I felt the mattress move again. A faint dip near my back, careful and hesitant. His hand didn’t touch me, but it hovered there. I could feel the warmth of it, close enough to know he was reaching, far enough that he could pull away without it counting as a mistake.

It lingered there for a few seconds before retreating.

I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it.

The darkness pressed closer. My thoughts tangled into one long thread that stretched between us, thin and quiet.

Maybe it was easier to believe he wasn’t as cold as I’d thought. That beneath the command and the discipline and the sharp edges, there was someone who feared losing his mother the same way I’d lost mine.

That maybe he wasn’t the monster I wanted him to be.

Sleep caught me before I could think any further.

In the last sliver of awareness, I heard him shift again. A low sigh escaped him, something tired and human.

Then his voice, faint but clear, came through the quiet.

"Goodnight, Fia."

It was softer than before, almost like he didn’t mean for me to hear it.

My body relaxed fully at last, my thoughts slipping away into dreams. The tension drained from my chest, replaced by a strange, fragile warmth.

If I had been awake enough to notice, I might have realized that the distance between us had shrunk. That the empty space on the bed wasn’t quite so wide anymore.

But by then, I was already gone, adrift in sleep, the scent of pine and rain clinging to the very dream that followed.

***

The dream opened around me like warm fog, thick and sweet, every edge softened until I could not tell where the real world ended. I felt the bed beneath me, the scent of pine still clinging to my lungs, but the room had shifted. The quiet I had fallen asleep to melted into something charged. My body was heavy, relaxed, ready for something I did not name out loud.

I heard his voice behind me. Low. Certain. It moved through the dimness and curled around my spine.

"Fia. Get on your knees."

My breath caught, a soft hitch that felt hotter than it should have. The command slipped straight through me, easy as breathing. I pushed up, the blanket sliding away from my shoulders, and I knelt on the mattress. The air felt cooler on my skin, enough to make a shiver roll down my arms. I did not turn around. I didn’t need to. I felt him there. Felt the weight of his attention settle on me like a hand.

My thighs trembled when his fingers brushed my jaw. Light. Testing. I leaned into it before I could stop myself.

"You listen so well," he said, and the praise hit me low, a pulse that spread warmth through my belly.

He hooked two fingers beneath my chin and tilted my face up. His thumb traced my bottom lip, slow enough that my pulse tried to chase it. When he slipped those fingers into my mouth I closed my lips around them without thinking. I sucked gently, my tongue running along the pads of his fingers. A low sound rumbled from his chest, quiet but full.

"Open wider," he murmured.

I parted my lips more, taking him deeper. He pushed until my mouth stretched around his knuckles. Heat flooded my cheeks and I let out a soft, muffled "mmf," breath mixing with the taste of him. He pulled his fingers free, slick with my saliva, and traced that wetness along my cheek before guiding my head forward.

"Kneel lower."

I sank down obediently, spine bending, palms pressing into the mattress. My mouth was level with the hard line of him beneath his clothes. He unfastened them slowly, like he wanted me to feel every second of his patience. When he pushed them down enough to free himself, the air filled with the warm scent of his skin.

"Take it," he said.

I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock. My breath trembled. The first brush of my lips against the head sent a jolt straight through me. I licked along the underside, slow, tasting salt and heat. A quiet groan escaped him, deep and rough.

"Good girl. More."

I opened my mouth and slid down over him. My lips stretched, my jaw protesting just enough to feel delicious. I took him deeper, inch by inch, until the tip brushed the back of my throat. My breath hitched again. I swallowed around him and heard him suck in air.

He put his hand on the back of my head. Firm. Guiding. I let him pull me closer. My throat tightened and I let out a choked "gghh," the kind that vibrated around him. He loosened his grip for a moment, then pushed me down again, steady and unhurried.

"That’s it. Let me in."

I bobbed my head, hollowing my cheeks, taking him deeper with each motion. His hand tightened in my hair. He began to guide my pace, slow at first, then faster. My eyes watered a little, tears pricking at the corners as he thrust into my mouth. My nails curled into the sheets and I let him use me, my breath coming in needy bursts around the rhythm he set.

My throat opened for him. I felt every inch of him. Felt how his hips jerked slightly when I swallowed hard around the thickest part.

"Fia, look at me."

I lifted my eyes, letting him see the mess he made of me. My lips were slick, my chin wet, my breath uneven. He groaned softly when our eyes met.

"You’re beautiful like this."

He pulled out slowly, his cock sliding free with a wet sound that made heat pool between my thighs. I gasped for air, chest rising quickly. He brushed his thumb across my mouth again, smearing the wetness there, then dragged the thumb down my throat.

"Lie back."

I climbed up onto the pillows, heart racing. The dream room felt warmer, darker. My legs parted without him asking. My skin tingled as he settled between them, his weight dipping the mattress. He ran his palm up my thigh, slow and deliberate. I felt my breath stutter again when he reached the soft heat between my legs.

He pressed his fingers into me, sliding through the wetness there. My hips lifted toward his touch.

"So ready," he whispered.

He teased me with two fingers, circling, dipping, never quite giving me enough. I whimpered, a soft "ahh, please," slipping out before I had the sense to bite it back. His smile felt like it burned.

"You beg so sweet."

He pushed one finger inside me. My breath caught. My walls clenched around him instantly. He curled the finger, hitting a spot that made a sharp gasp escape my throat.

"More," I whispered.

He gave me another finger. The stretch made me moan louder. "Nnn, Cian, please." He pumped them inside me, steady, slow, savoring every sound I made. The wet sounds filled the room, slick and obscene.

When he pulled his fingers out I felt cold for a heartbeat. Then he pushed my knees wider and positioned himself at my entrance. The head of his cock brushed against me, hot and slick. I sucked in a breath, ready, needy.

"Look at me," he said again, voice lower.

I lifted my gaze. His eyes were dark. Focused and so goddamn hungry.

He pushed into me in a long, deep thrust. My mouth fell open, a sharp "ohh, fuck," spilling out. My walls tightened around him, the stretch overwhelming me in the best way. He groaned softly when he bottomed out, his hips flush against mine.

He stayed still for a moment, letting me feel every inch of him. Letting me adjust. Letting the heat coil tighter in my belly.

"You feel perfect," he whispered.

He pulled back, slow, then drove into me again. The force of it rocked me. I grabbed the sheets, knuckles white, as he set a steady rhythm. Each thrust melted thought after thought out of my head. My moans spilled out freely.

"Ahh, Cian, harder."

He gave me exactly what I asked for. His pace quickened. His thrusts hit deep. The sound of our bodies meeting filled the room. My legs shook. My back arched off the bed. He held my hips to keep me from sliding away from him, his grip tight enough to bruise.

"Take it," he growled.

I did. I wanted every inch. Wanted the heat building in my core.

Every thrust sent sparks through me. The coil inside me tightened fast. My breath turned into broken gasps. "I’m close," I panted.

He leaned over me, his lips brushing my ear. "Come for me."

The word dropped into me like a match. My climax hit hard. My body tensed, then shook. A loud cry tore out of my throat. "Ohh, Goddess." My walls clenched around him again and again. I felt him thrust through it, chasing his own release while my orgasm crashed over me in waves.

He groaned and pushed deep. His body shuddered. I felt the hot pulse of him filling me. His breath fanned across my neck, ragged and warm.

He stayed inside me, our bodies pressed together, our breath mixing. I felt every beat of his heart against my chest, steady but fast.

The dream softened around the edges again. My body melted beneath his weight. His hand slid up my thigh with a gentleness that made my eyelids grow heavy.

Before everything faded I heard him murmur one last thing, voice soft against my skin.

"My Fia."

***

I jerked awake.

My eyes flew open and my breath came fast. I tried to push myself up but strong arms wrapped tight around me from behind. A chest pressed into my back. A hand held my ribs as if trying to keep me from slipping away.

For a moment I could not think. The sex dream still clung to me, hot and confusing. My heart would also not slow down.

I turned my head a little and saw dark curls against my shoulder. It was Cian and he holding me like I was his personal teddy bear.

My thoughts scrambled as shock burned through me.

What in the hell was going on?