bChapter /bb195 /b

    Eryx POV

    bI /bhave this urge to hurt her, physically, and it’s only growing stronger the longer she’s close to me. She’s safer away from me right now, band /bwhile my parents don’t know, I’m going to have to make them aware of this.

    I’ve got another pack that she can go, a pack that will protect her again Rnd and her own family. She’s safer away from meb, /bthan bclose /b

    Turning, I look at my parents. “We need to discuss things,” I say, then I stand and walk to the door. I hear them shifting behind me.

    “We will see youter, April,” my mother says softly and I step out with them following. I know they are going to argue me with this, and suggest she stays in another part of the house, but she can’t. Worse if I don’t reject her, I can just sense her and follow.

    The moment the door closes behind us and April is left sitting alone in the dining room, the tension that’s been twisting beneath my skin ws up higher. My hands curl into fists at my sides and I take a steadying breath, it barely does anything to settle the madness that’s begun to boil over inside of me. I can feel the shadow moving beneath my ribs, restless and violent. It’s like a snake seeking warmth and the sickest part of it is that it hungers for her. Not in kindness but to hurt her.

    It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that it’s not real, that it’s not me, and it’s nothing, the urges pulse stronger and grow more dark and hungry. I see shes behind my eyes of April’s body spawled across the floor, my own hands marking her, bruising her skin and breaking her open just to watch her bleed.

    The images are violent and sickening, and every time I flinch away trying to get away from them they return stronger. It’s the magic, I know it is, I know it’s the Hollowed Queen, or what’s left of her, thrashing against my soul like a rabid animal. I can’t get it out, not now, not without destroying myself and if I let her stay, I’ll destroy April too.

    She’s too close, and I can feel that, so I walk faster, barely noticing that my mother and father are rushing to keep up their voices are hissing just behind my shoulder as they whisper things.

    “Eryx, what is this about?” my father demands as we reach the war room. The heavy door swings closed behind us and it muffles any sound from the rest of the house. The windows are narrow here, the light sharp, and the shadows crowd at the corners of the room as if they’re waiting for something dreadful. I can still feel her, it’s like it’s impossible to escape her.

    My mother looks at me, her eyes sharp with worry but her voice is steady when she speaks. “You haven’t slept, you’re pale as death and your magic is burning through your veins. You’re not yourself right now, what’s happening?”

    I press my palms to the edge of the table, I try to ground myself, and try to force the shaking to stop even as the dark fire rages in my chest. “I can’t be near her. Not now and not until this is gone. If you make me let her stay, I’ll hurt her, and I won’t be able to stop myself.” My voicees out raw, ragged, barely even human. They need to understand the risk.

    My father’s face tightens with disbelief but my mother’s pales. “What do you mean by hurt her, Eryx? What is going on inside of you?”

    I hesitate, fighting to find the words, they thinkst night solved it, it didn’t, the truth crashes out of me. “It’s the Hollowed Queen. The magic it’s still there, we might have pushed her out enough to stop what happenedst night but she’s still holding onto me. She’s still pushing my emotions to something darker. It’s like she’s angry at April for surviving, for finding a way to get free. She’s angry at me for it, and wants me to pay and that is by hurting April.” I shake my head. “All I know is that every moment April is close to me, or when I feel like the bond, I want to –“My breath shudders out and ! mp my mouth shut before I say something disgusting and unforgivable.

    My father steps closer, his face hard. “You should have told us the moment you felt it building. We could have contained you, put wards-b” /b

    “No,” I snarl, my temper fraying, heat sparking along my skin. “It’s not that simple. You can’t lock this away. bI /bthought iming herb, /bbbinding /bbus /btogether, would break whatever was inside her. And it did. But the price was it moved. It’s inside me now and it hates that we bput /bbit /bbinto /bsomeone stronger and it wants revenge.”

    Chapter b195 /b

    bMy /bmother’s bface /bcrumplesb, /bbut she holds herposure. “That’s why you want her gone. bYou /bthink she’ll bbe /bsafer if she’s not in your reach. I bthought /bthe maids had misunderstood when they mentioned getting a car ready to take her”

    “She will be safer,” I say fiercely, my voice hoarse. “Every minute I spend in the same house, the same room, even the same territory, ir harder to control myself. It’s like I’m at war with myself right now. I want to keep her close, to keep her safe but I also I want to touch her. want to mark her. I want to hurt her just to see her flinch, and that’s not me. That’s her, the Queen. And if I don’t do something bnow/bb, /bI’ll break April apart the way Rnd did. I can’t let that happen, not ever.”

    They need to listen, to believe that I know how deep this runs, how hard it is.

    My father clenches his jaw and he stares at the ceiling as if he’s searching for something. “So your n is to send her away? That’s your solution, after everything, after all you did to safe her?”

    “What else am I supposed to do?” I snap. “What, you want me to keep her close and hope I don’t snap her neck in my sleep? Would you risk that? Would you risk your mate?”

    He’s silent, like he’s struggling to understand this. My mother grips my arm. “If iyou /isend her away now, you might never get her backb, /bEryxb, a /bbroken heart isn’t easily healed. You know that, right? She’s broken enough and if you send her to leave and she thinks it’s because byou /bbdon’t /b

    love her more, she’ll think she failed you.”

    Her words cut deep, and I know that’s what April will think, but it’s the only way, if she hates me, if she thinks I’m cruel, she will hide from me,

    refuse to speak to me and the Queen won’t have a thread to follow. The magic will fester in me and not her.

    “That’s better than me destroying her,” I say quietly. “She’ll heal, eventually. Even if she hates me, even if she never forgives me. I can live

    with that. I can’t live with knowing I hurt her.”

    “And if she refuses to go, if she begs to stay. Do you think you have the strength to force her to go, because April is the sort to fight for you,

    and crawl through hell for you? You are her safe ce.”

    I stare at the far wall, where the old map of ournds is pinned, the outlines of the Hollow burned into the parchment. “I’ll do what I have to,” I whisper. “Even if it means making her think I never loved her at all and rejecting her.”

    My father shakes his head, anger shing in his eyes. “You’re making a mistake, Eryx. We can fight this together. We can find a way to drive out the Queen’s magic, bind it, contain it. There are witches, elders, wards-”

    “She wants April, not me,” I interrupt.” She’s trying to get April’s blood, if April is gone, hidden maybe the Queen will be trapped in me long enough for us to figure out how to kill her. If she’s close, I’ll break and she’ll die. I can feel it, there’s moments I can barely remember myself, only the craving to see her broken, ripped open as I feed on her-” My voice breaks, and I grip the table so hard it cracks beneath my hands.

    My mother’s tears spill over now, but she’s move away from me. She stands her ground. “If you do this, you do it quickly, don’t draw it out,” she says. “You tell her it’s over be cruel if you must, but do not break her spirit, leave her a piece of hope, Eryx, even if you can’t see it for

    yourself.”

    My father turns away, pacing to the window. “Where will you send her?”

    “There’s a pack north of the mountains,” I say, swallowing back the ache in my throat. “They owe us a debt. They’ll keep her hidden band /bbkeep /bher safe. Rnd and her father won’t be able to reach her there. I’ll send a guard, someone she trusts. She’ll never have to see me bagain until /b

    this is fixed.”

    The rooms goes silent and my parents look at me, fear and pain etched into every line of their face. They don’t argue againb, /bbnot /bbnow/b. my mother wipes her eyes but she nods and I can see the pain in her eyes. “Then do it soon, before the Queen takes everything bfrom /bbyou/b.b” /b

    I nod, unable to speak. The darkness is cooling inside me, it feels satisfied, like it knows I’m going to be close to her again.

    My father speaks finally, his voice a low growl. “If you survive this, if you win, you have to bring her home, Eryx, bdon’t /blet it bend /bbwith /bbyou /bleaving her there.”

    b1533 /bbThu /bbAu /b

    b1 /bnod once, but I know in my heart I won’t bring her back until I know she’s safe. I have bto /bpush her away until she runs from me, until si hates me. It’s the only way I can keep her alive. April isn’t the type to leave if she knows, she will fight to bstay /b

    Stepping out of the room, my heart pounds hard, and every step toward the dining room feels like a death sentence, but I keep bmoving /bbi /bwon’t let the Queen have her, even if I be the viin in April’s story, at least she will be safe.

    When I open the door, she’s sitting there, her eyes full of worry and hope. I feel it instantly, the building tension the need to bhurt /bher physically. I’ll hurt her, but I won’ty a finger on her. I’ll cut out my own heart, but I will safe her from whatever monster I’m bing

    曲