CHAPTER 32: CH:32 SAY AHHH, HERO

As the morning breeze brushed past the palace gardens, Dila walked ahead in her ridiculously fluffy princess gown, looking like a walking meringue. Behind her, her usual entourage followed: two clanky knights and one very overworked maid. Beside her, Sarios limped slightly, his sword finally sheathed and his body still feeling the sting from his mentor’s training session.

Dila glanced at him with a casual squint.

"Hey, Sarios... where’s Stella this morning?"

She paused, then added dryly,

"Is she not the priestess in this kingdom?"

Sarios blinked, then laughed through his sore muscles.

"What? No. She’s out doing priestess things. Purifying the village that got attacked, remember? Praying, blessing the land, all that stuff."

Dila raised an eyebrow.

"This early in the morning? Poor Stella. Must be exhausting. Who’s guarding her?"

"She’s got four elite knights with her," Sarios said with a confident nod. "Tough ones. No personality. Probably talk like scrolls and sleep standing up."

Dila sighed and gave him a sideways glance.

"So she’s out there doing holy labor while you’re here getting diced up by your mentor and walking like a grandpa."

"Yep," he said, popping his shoulder back into place with a wince. "And you’re dressed like a wedding cake surrounded by silverware."

They both chuckled.

Eventually, they arrived at a beautiful open area near the royal beach, complete with garden benches and the sound of crashing waves. Dila was about to speak again, when suddenly—

GGRROOOOOOWWWLLL...

Her stomach betrayed her.

She stopped mid-step, eyes wide.

Sarios turned slowly.

"Was that... you?"

Dila tried to act cool.

"Haha... excuse me. My stomach’s protesting this ridiculous royal stroll."

Like a whip crack, the maid snapped her fingers.

"Quick! Bring a table! Food! A shade umbrella for the Princess!"

Suddenly, the area transformed into a royal buffet setup.

One knight came dragging in a large, round, carved wooden table like he was delivering the holy grail. Another knight followed, carrying a massive wooden umbrella that looked more suited for a noble giraffe than a girl. Then came the butlers and maids—marching like they were serving a queen’s coronation. They laid out plates stacked with meats, breads, tiny decorated cakes, golden fruits, tea sets, soups, and even a multi-layered sandwich tower that looked structurally unsafe.

Dila’s eyes twitched.

"Wait—WAIT! I just needed a snack, not an entire festival! Stop! Abort! Cancel the feast!"

But the staff ignored her, radiating joy.

They were clearly thrilled to serve. Their smiles were so wide it was borderline unsettling.

Sarios stood nearby, chuckling hard.

"Hahaha! Princess, are you sure you’re not summoning food with your stomach now?"

Dila groaned, slumping dramatically into a bench like she was in a theater play about defeat. Her legs spread out like a delinquent, arms lazily tossed over the bench backrest, princess gown puffed up like a deflated pastry.

Her face? Utterly deadpan.

"Awesome," she muttered. "I just wanted a sandwich... now I’m getting flashed with a royal banquets."

The maid glanced at her slouched posture, side-eyed the legs-wide-spread stance, and silently thought,

(Not again you know what This girl... is absolutely a tomboy. Dresses like a princess, sits like a mercenary on lunch break.)

Suddenly in Dila’s mind, Nari giggled with sparkle-like sweetness.

☆ You’re the only princess I know who eats like a dragon and sits like a rogue ☆

Dila sighed.

"Just... someone pass me a sausage bun before this turns into a wedding banquet for twelve."

Sarios leaned against a tree and grinned.

"At least you’re not the one who got turned into minced meat earlier."

Dila grabbed a flaky pie from a tray and lobbed it at him.

"Keep talking and I’ll crown you Lord of Salmon Slices."

And so, under the garden’s sea breeze and surrounded by enough food to feed a noble army, the two unlikely royals shared a moment of ridiculous peace.

As Dila munched on a crispy meat pie, her cheeks were puffed out like a squirrel hoarding snacks for winter.

"Mhh... delicious," she muttered mid-chew, crumbs falling like noble confetti.

Then, without even swallowing properly, she turned to Sarios beside her with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"You want some?" she asked, holding out a whole slice of pie with her bare hand, ready to shove it straight into his mouth like a mother bird feeding her chick.

Sarios blinked.

"N-No, Princess!" he insisted, stiffening his back and raising his right hand like he was about to make a royal oath.

"As a hero, I do not eat beside a royal. It is a matter of discipline and honor—"

GGRRRRMMMBBLLLL...

His stomach betrayed him mid-oath.

Dila paused, her lips curling up slowly.

Sarios chuckled awkwardly, sweat forming near his temple.

In his mind:

That pie looks ridiculously good... golden crust, soft steam rising... it’s warm, it’s calling to me. Ugh. Who am I kidding? This oath isn’t gonna save me from starvation. I’m not ready to die for formality...

Still trying to look composed, he thought,

Keep it cool. Don’t move. Just chill. Look noble. Ignore the food.

But Dila wasn’t done.

She stood up, her princess gown fluffing dramatically behind her like a cape of noble rebellion. Then, in front of everyone—guards, butlers, maids included—she picked up an entire pie with the plate still in her hand and marched toward him.

Gasps echoed like someone had just witnessed the Queen flip a table.

One maid clutched her chest.

The butler dropped a fork.

Even the knights tensed like they expected a food war to erupt.

Dila smiled slyly, holding out the plate.

"Okay, open up. Say ahhhh~"

Sarios’s face turned scarlet. His entire body went stiff like someone cast a Freeze spell on him. The soft light of the morning glinted behind Dila like she was a glowing elven goddess—elegant, teasing, utterly out of reach.

In his head:

I never realized how pretty she actually is... she looks so calm... so... dangerously calm...

Dila leaned a little closer, smile widening.

"Ahhh~ Come on~~ Say ahhhh~"

Defeated by hunger, dignity, and the inexplicable pressure of a pie-wielding princess, Sarios finally gave in.

"...Alright, alright... I’ll eat..."

She brought the pie up and practically spoon-fed it into his mouth with her bare hand.

Sarios chewed in silence. Slowly. Carefully. Trying not to combust from embarrassment.

Dila burst out laughing.

"Pfff! You eat like a toddler! Like—like a fussy little missy trying her first pastry!"

Sarios’s soul left his body. His face now resembled a tomato left in the sun.

Meanwhile, in Dila’s mind, Nari’s delicate voice chimed in sweetly:

☆ Hahaha~ Keeping up the act, are we? ☆

Dila responded in her head, still smirking.

"Just to make sure he eats. I don’t want him collapsing out of pride."

☆ You’re too soft, Master Dila~ ☆

"And what exactly should I do with my ’softness’ then?"

☆ Hahaha~ At least you care, Master. Even if you act like a sarcastic ice cube. ☆

Dila chuckled again, watching Sarios quietly munch away on the pie, red-faced and defeated.

"Eat well, mighty hero. Or your next opponent might be a loaf of bread."

Sarios let out a laugh—at the worst possible moment.

Pie still halfway down his throat.

"Pff—HAha—khgkk!"

His laughter turned into violent choking as he clutched his chest, gasping like a fish tossed on land.

Dila’s eyes widened.

"Oh no—don’t die!"

She leaned over and started smacking his back with the urgency of someone trying to restart a broken vending machine.

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.

"Breathe, hero! Not today, don’t die on carbs!"

HACK—GULP—cough

Finally, Sarios spat out a crumb and gasped like he’d just returned from the underworld.

"Th—Thanks..." he wheezed, one eye twitching.

Behind them, the maid clapped a hand over her mouth, failing to hide her giggles.

The two guards snorted audibly.

Even one of the butlers had to turn away, clearly losing his composure.

Sarios tried to straighten up, still red-faced.

"I’m fine... I’m f-fine..." he said like a man trying to reclaim his last shred of dignity.

Dila, absolutely not helping, casually grabbed a nearby jar of water, poured it into her own small wooden mug—a delicate, flower-carved cup she’d just been using—and handed it to him without a second thought.

"Here. Drink," she said, tone calm, expression unreadable. Like she wasn’t offering her own personal royal cup to the man who just almost died on a pastry.

Sarios froze.

He stared at the mug like it was the Holy Grail.

His hand trembled as he reached for it, because this wasn’t just any mug—it was Dila’s mug. The one that touched her lips. The Princess Elf. The Secret Noble. The walking glacier of sarcasm.

"T-Thank you..." he stammered, holding it like a relic.

He took one sip.

Then another.

Then chugged it like a dying warrior in the desert—trying to be subtle, but failing miserably.

And with every gulp, his ears turned red. His cheeks flamed. His forehead sweat. His eyes looked like they were about to explode from pure embarrassment.

Dila raised an eyebrow, still watching him.

"You know, it’s just water. Not a love potion."

Sarios choked again, this time from sheer fluster.

The maid cracked. She snorted so hard she almost dropped the serving tray.

The guards were openly laughing now.

Even the butler—stoic as ever—had to turn around and wipe his eyes.

Dila simply leaned back in her seat, arms folded behind her head, legs stretched apart in her usual unladylike sprawl.

"Seriously, your too dramatic. It’s just breakfast."

Meanwhile, Nari’s voice echoed in Dila’s head, giggling:

☆ Oh my stars, Master... you’re killing him slowly with kindness. ☆

"Not my fault he’s weak to pie and cups," Dila replied flatly in her mind, sipping another mug of water—this time from a different one, just to mess with him.

☆ Hahaha~ savage~! ☆

And Sarios?

Still red.

Still sweating.

Still holding that mug like it was made of unicorn tears and dignity.