CHAPTER 45: CH:45 ONE BATHROOM BREAK AWAY FROM GREATNESS

As they scanned the quest board, Dila’s ears gave a little twitch.

She paused.

Then, with a nervous laugh, she tugged lightly at Sarios’s sleeve armour. "Umm... Sarios?"

He looked over and smiled. "Yeah?"

Fran peeked between them, still shy, her eyes darting in and out from behind her bangs.

Dila leaned in slightly and whispered, "Where’s the bathroom? I... I need to pee."

Sarios froze. His cheeks instantly flushed red. "P-Pee?!"

Dila blushed too, covering her face halfway. "I was trying to be subtle!"

Sarios quickly looked away, a hand to his chin. "Y-you should definitely... let go of everything before an adventure. Good strategy. Efficient."

Fran, now bright red, turned away like a cat pretending she didn’t hear anything.

"I didn’t mean it like that!" Dila groaned, her voice tight.

Sarios quickly pointed to the far corner. "There! That sign that says Restroom—go straight, take a little left, then a right."

Dila nodded quickly. "O-okay. Going now."

She scurried off awkwardly, head ducked low like she was fleeing battle. Her dress swayed with her embarrassed steps.

Fran leaned toward Sarios shyly and whispered, "That was... kinda cute, actually."

Sarios chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah... she’s definitely one of a kind."

And as they waited near the quest board, they both shared the kind of awkward silence that somehow made this trio feel just a bit more like a real party.

As Dila finally reached the Guild restroom, she stood inside at the wooden door, glanced side to side, then leaned close to the imaginary wall with a sly expression.

"Pssst..."

She looked around again, then cupped her hands to her mouth and whispered—not to anyone in the room, but directly toward the invisible audience.

A strange, crooked smile formed on her face. Not quite a laugh. Not quite a grin. Somewhere in between. Like a guilty elf caught stealing cookies.

"Hey you. Yeah, you. The reader’s."

She winked.

☆ Who are you whispering to, Master? ☆ Nari’s soft voice echoed inside her mind.

"Ohh, it’s nothing," Dila replied aloud, waving her hand like a shady peddler. Then she leaned closer to absolutely nothing, putting one hand to the side of her cheek.

"Lemme guess... You’re one of those pirates, huh? You’ve been reading our adventure from some suspicious little site, haven’t you?" She giggled with mischief. "Tsk-tsk. I never thought our story would get pirated before we even hit Chapter fifty. That’s impressive, honestly." She giggled like no tomorrow.

Than She laughed softly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand like a tea-sipping noblewoman.

☆ Wait, Master... are you... breaking the fourth wall? ☆ Nari asked, suspicious.

"No, no, no," Dila whispered. "I’m just... whispering to my imaginary friends."

☆ Ohhh. Got it. ☆ Nari said, then changed her voice into a piratey tone. ☆ Arrrgh, me hearty! If ye be sailin’ to the land of stolen pages, don’t ye dare blame me—Nari becoming the Cordless A.I! And Master Dila Becomes stupid Master of a Crocked-up elf gremlin☆

Dila choked back a laugh, holding her stomach. "Cordless A.I?! And a crocked-up elf gremlin?!"

☆ Aye! A Crocked-up, fourth-wall-breaking crazy bastard of a master! ☆ she said while giggling in her mind.

Dila gasped. "HEY! I heard that!"

Both of them burst into laughter in sync.

Still giggling, Dila turned back toward the nonexistent camera and winked again. "Anyway, thank you for following our silly little journey. Just... try to support it if you can, alright? I promise we’ll keep being ridiculous in return."

Right then, a voice came from outside the bathroom door.

"Huh?" said a very confused musclehead adventurer, holding a giant axe. "Who the hell is she talking to in there?"

He stood there blinking, while another adventurer muttered behind him, "Dunno, man. Think she’s summoning something or... maybe she becomes just nuts." he sigh while raising his both shoulder and raising his both hands.

Back inside, Dila stuck out her tongue, turned around with a twirl of her skirt, and pushed open the restroom door like a diva exiting the stage.

She was so ready to keep this absurd story going.

As Dila stepped out of the restroom door, humming lightly to herself with a proud little bounce in her step, the two adventurers standing nearby froze like statues.

The musclebound axe man blinked at her slowly. "...Are you okay, little lady?"

Dila looked up at him with a sweet, innocent smile that didn’t match the chaos she just whispered moments ago. "Yup! Totally okay~"

She passed by them with the elegance of a noble... if nobles also talked to walls.

The other man, a lanky one in light leather armor, leaned toward his axe-wielding companion and whispered, "Weird. Real weird. I’m not sticking my head into whatever conversation she just had with the spirits of the restroom. No way."

His face turned a little pink.

The axe man nodded solemnly. "Yeah... felt like It’s just somethingis weird i don’t know man."

The two stared at her retreating back as she walked confidently back toward Sarios and Fran.

Meanwhile, Dila whispered to herself with a mischievous grin, "Mission complete. The bathroom gods are satisfied."

☆ That doesn’t even make sense, Master... ☆ Nari giggled.

"I know," Dila said with a smirk. "But I make the rules now." she jokingly said, leaving behind two very confused adventurers questioning reality.

As Dila returned from the restroom, brushing imaginary dust off her sleeves like she just closed an epic Chapter, she approached Sarios and Fran with her usual casual swing.

"Sorry if I took too long in the bathroom," she said with a sheepish smile.

Without missing a beat, both Sarios and Fran gave her a thumbs-up.

Sarios grinned. "No worries. Nature’s the real boss battle sometimes."

Fran, still a little shy, nodded while keeping her eyes mostly on the floor. Her thumb was up too—though it looked more like she was nervously holding an invisible stick.

Dila blinked. "Wait... did you two rehearse that or something?"

Sarios laughed. "Let’s just say we’ve been through enough weird moments with you to adapt quickly."

Fran muttered, "Y-Yeah... like, really fast."

Dila smirked proudly. "Good. You’ll need that kind of survival instinct if you’re sticking with me."

Fran quietly gulped, but smiled anyway.

And then Dila clapped her hands. "Alright! Let’s see what kind of mischief—I mean, quests—we can grab from the board!"

Dila stood before the quest board, her finger slowly sliding past each scroll like a game-show judge inspecting odd prizes.

"Hmm... let’s see... house cleaning? Nope. Helping old ladies?" She squinted. "That’s?... just... why is that even on a combat board?"

She scrolled further.

"Goblin slaying? Yeah no. I have Fran, sure, but I also have Sarios... Class H," she muttered with a glance. "No offense, buddy, but I’m not looking to roll the dice on goblin like RNG."

Then her eyes sparkled.

"Oho~ slime purging!"

She snatched the scroll dramatically and unrolled it like she was revealing treasure:

Quest: Slime Purging

Class G monsters have overrun our herb farm!

Please eliminating the slime infestation to prevent our farm to become absolutely bankrupt.

Reward: 10 Silver Moons

"Ohhh," Dila grinned, "ohh protect the farm herbs, easy XP? Yes, please!"

She spun on her heel and slapped the scroll against Sarios’ chest. "Let’s pick this one!"

Sarios blinked. "Slimes? Really?"

Before he could blink again, Fran was beside him, nodding with such wild speed it looked like her head was vibrating.

"Y-Yes! That one! Slime! Let’s do it!"

Her cat ears flopped around with every bounce, like she was trying to headbutt invisible slimes just by nodding.

Even her tail was wagging in chaos.

Sarios slowly leaned away from her. "Uhhh... is she okay?"

Dila laughed. "That’s her battle confirmation mode, hmmm... maybe."

Fran stopped nodding abruptly, straightened up, and cleared her throat like nothing happened.

"...I’m fine," she said coolly, deadpan.

Sarios just nodded slowly. "Uh-huh..... Totally normal."

Dila grinned. "Let the Slime season begins."

Just as the party turned to march off on their heroic (slimey) journey, the receptionist raised her hand.

"Wait! Before you go," she called out, walking up with her heels clacking and holding a small magical stamp, "you need this scroll officially marked before it’s valid."

She unrolled the quest scroll and tapped the flat end of the glowing stamp onto it.

[STAMPED: ONGOING – Expires in 1 Day]

"There. Now it’s official," she said with a polite smile.

Sarios awkwardly pointed both index fingers to the sides like a failed magician. "Y-Yeah. Of course. I totally knew that."

The receptionist slowly turned to him, squinting. "...Are you really an adventurer?"

Sarios froze. "Me?" he chuckled nervously. "Of course I am."

He folded both hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling, whistling like an unconvincing NPC pretending to be innocent.

Dila’s expression went flat.

Fran turned her head away, pretending to be very, very interested in a nearby quest poster. Her cat ears drooped in embarrassment.

Dila sighed, walked back toward the counter, and gently placed the scroll on the desk again— just look a like habit than need.

"I swear I’m the only functioning brain cell in this entire party," she muttered under her breath.

Fran slowly nodded, as if she understood deeply.

Sarios raised a hand in protest. "Hey, I heard that!"