CHAPTER 300: MY HEART SUDDENLY ACHED FOR HIM

(Hurray for the 300th Chapter. Just like before, I’m so happy to have you all here. It’s great you didn’t drop this book halfway and let the growth of the flawed characters shine. It is an honor and a pleasure and I hope we have even more juicy content along the way, heheheheh, muhahahaha. Ahem. Let us continue on our journey)

I was a bit lost with Seo-Jun’s sudden behavior, but I decided to wait it out. I waited until he had calmed down and when he did, he acted like everything was completely fine and he had not just made a weakling out of himself.

But I don’t consider someone who cried or trembled for their past weak at all. Instead, I think they’re quite strong to have come this far without breaking down.

I mean, he’s been broken for quite a long time already, but he’s not to the point where I can’t fix him. I can definitely fix him.

Kya, I just said the most classic cliche line. I truly I’m a protagonist.

Anyway, crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. It only means you’ve been strong for too long and you just need a break.

I’m like that as well.

If I reach my limit, there’s no telling what sort of tsunami would fall from my eyes.

I raised my hand and patted Seo-Jun’s back till he felt better. I wished he would hurry up and feel better because I could hear my spine snapping under his weight pressed on me. Literally.

"Jo-Pil," he called and raised his head. My eyes followed his face to see if he had shed a tear or two, and he had, but he wouldn’t let me see and turned away.

Was he better now?

If he wanted to rest his head some more, I could sit down on the bed and he could do that. I could even stroke his head if it would help him feel better.

"I’ve been living in a dark world." He suddenly started. "There was a time when I wished for a haven. I was very young back then."

Wait, was he going to tell me about his past? I mean, I already know how his past went, but he probably doesn’t know that I know, so... Let’s just listen. This marks a huge turning point for Seo-Jun as a character.

"My mother died and my father neglected me." He said and then sat on the bed, tapping beside him so I would go sit and I did. "He remarried, thinking I needed a new mother but what I needed at that time was for my remaining family to hold me. To love me. Even if my mother was no longer around, I believed he would be able to fill that space but he didn’t. He... Ran away."

I saw the glint of sadness in his eyes and also lowered my head.

I couldn’t even imagine how he had to struggle as a kid. The story said he didn’t cry for the loss of his mother, instead, he looked forward to spending time with his father more than anything.

It was rather strange for a kid his age, but that was at least better than him crying and throwing tantrums because he wanted his mother, who was already gone, disturbing everyone’s hearts and peace.

But he was more mature than his age.

He stayed silent, ate his meal, went to school, and came back like a good kid, and waited for his father, but each time, there was an excuse as to why his father could not join him for breakfast and dinner or why he couldn’t see his father who was all he had left.

"I didn’t resent my father at first. Not until I opened my eyes to understand what his negligence had caused. He..." He looked at his hands as they began to tremble. "He’s the reason I ended up this way. If not for his negligence, if not for how he threw me into the care of some bitch when he should’ve been the one to take care of me, then... I would’ve at least been normal." He clenched his fists and turned to me, smiling really sadly. "Just like the other guys."

My heart suddenly ached for him.

Yeah, he didn’t wish to turn out this way. He didn’t wish to be an asshole who only thought of sex.

His defense mechanism to be an asshole to normalize his sadistic and overly high sex drive was a great plan. I mean, you could at least expect a crazy guy like him to have one or two crazy kinks if not more.

If he had pretended to be normal, hiding the desires that ate him up then maybe... Maybe he might’ve been a worse criminal.

What do I mean by that?

I mean, one day while walking down the road after bottling up the kind of person he had become, the kind of thoughts that roam through his head, and trying to seem... Normally, he would snap.

He could see a pretty lady, one who was capable of arousing his sadistic desire to the max, and he might end up raping them.

Because even if he were rich and powerful, he would appear like a maniac. And even if they did agree at first, thinking they were about to hit it big just by having sex with him, once they see he isn’t a gentleman but a crazy villain hiding in the shadows with a bunch of sadistic kinks then they might refuse. They might want to run and in the process, arouse him even more, leading to something else.

Something dangerous.

He’d force his way and that could spark a thrill that was very animalistic and evil.

He could start raping people, just for the thrill of watching them flee from him.

I shut my eyes, squinting hard as a novel I read in the past came to mind.

It takes a one-time thrill from bottled-up desire to beget a mad rapist.

I opened my eyes and looked at Seo-Jun pitifully.

I have to admit it but his choice... The mechanism he decided to put up to protect himself was actually the right one.

At least now, the people who spread their legs for him know the kind of thing he might be into and don’t expect him to be a gentleman. Plus, they all voluntarily do it. Once he throws a wad of cash, they just do it without complaint.

Though I’m not encouraging it, but I don’t know. I don’t think there was a better way for him to cope with his broken mind and body.

And in my case... I shook my head.

I don’t even want to think about it. I might’ve as well been the first and last rape case he had in my last life but in this life... He hasn’t committed any of that. So, I’ll cut him some slack.