Chapter 158: Gossip - Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper - NovelsTime

Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper

Chapter 158: Gossip

Author: MassaHJ
updatedAt: 2025-08-23

I walked to the living room. Missy was talking with Paige, and Mom was next to her.

    "Oh look, the subject has arrived," Paige smirked.

    "Missy, don''t you want another smartass in your house? I even paid for that," I dered.

    "Too bad, there''s no refund," Paige replied. "Right, Aunt Judith?"

    Mom opened her arms and shrugged, "What can we do?" as if there was no other option.

    We allughed while Paige pulled a mock betrayed face.

    "Sorry, Paige, I sometimes need to be by my son''s side," Mom teased.

    "Heyy, you should do that all the time," I whined.

    Weughed again.

    Then Missy leaned forward. "I have a gossip to tell."

    We all turned our attention to her.

    "I will be an aunt."

    "What??" Judith and Paige shrieked.

    "You''re talking about Georgie, right?" I asked.

    Missy and Paige gave me a deadpan re, like ''are you serious?''

    "What? Sheldon could have discovered how to do mitosis. Or got some tin cans to make a clone," I muttered, shrugging.

    "Strange enough, a clone wouldn''t be an unbelievable ideaing from Sheldon," Paige noted with a grimace.

    "Okay, for once, this is not about Sheldon," Missy groaned. "Georgie knocked up a girl..."

    "Isn''t your brother too young? Like 17 years old?" Mom asked.

    "Yes, he is too young to have a child. But she isn''t..." Missy paused. "She''s 29..."

    "YEARS OLD?" Mom screamed.

    "Well, months would be really, really creepy," I murmured, earning a re from Mom.

    "What kind of 29-year-old dates someone his age?" she demanded, incredulous.

    "Probably someone who was lied to. Not umon," I reasoned.

    They all turned to me.

    "What? I was making a hypothesis. It was her brother that lied," I added, pointing at Missy.

    Then Mom looked at Missy. "Does your mother need anything? I can help. I can totally rte to her situation."

    I gasped. "Mom! I still believe babiese from storks!" I said without an ounce of shame.

    "Thank you, Paige, for living here. So I don''t have to endure this alone," Mommented deadpan.

    Paige and Missy chuckled.

    Mom stood up and headed toward the kitchen. But before leaving, she stopped and gave me a kiss on the head. I returned it with a big hug.

    She broke into a wide smile. "That part of you not being embarrassed—I like it," she said, referring to how I wasn''t ashamed to show affection in front of my friends.

    "Can we have that tasty mignon with cheese?" I asked.

    "Okay," she smiled, exasperated, and continued to the kitchen.

    I jumped onto the sofa and sat down.

    "What else is new, Missy?" I asked.

    "Hmm, I met Mandy—the one who''s pregnant with my brother''s baby. And I made friends with her younger sister, Lilly," Missy replied. "Paige, we can go out with her this weekend."

    "That could be fun," Paige nodded. "How is she?"

    "Lilly''s a bit older than us, pretty funny and cool."

    "Cute and single?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

    Missy rolled her eyes. "Don''t start."

    "What? I''m just asking," I said innocently.

    Paige threw a cushion at me. "You''re unbelievable."

    "Thank you, I try my best," I said proudly, catching the cushion mid-air and tossing it back.

    ----

    A few minutester, Mom called us to the kitchen. "Dinner''s ready! Come on, before it gets cold."

    We all got up and headed to the dining table, the smell of grilled mignon and melted cheese filling the air.

    "Wow, this smells amazing," Missy said as she took a seat.

    "You outdid yourself again, Aunt Judith," Paige added with a smile.

    "Bootlick..." I muttered to Paige, earning a sharp look from Mom. "I always thought your food was the best, Mom," I added quickly.

    Mom narrowed her eyes but smiled.

    Paige looked at me with an unimpressed re.

    We all started eating, conversation fading briefly as everyone focused on the meal.

    After we finished, Paige pulled out her phone, tapped through it, and hit y. A soft pop melody started ying through the speaker (polyphonic ringtone). She started singing with the ringtone:

    I''m An Albatraoz (AronChupa)

    ?Let me tell you all a story

    About a mouse named Lorry

    Yeah Lorry was a mouse

    In a big brown house

    She called herself the hoe

    With the money, money blow

    But fuc*k that little mouse

    ''Cause I''m an Albatraoz?

    ?I''m an Albatraoz

    So what?

    I''m an Albatraoz?

    ? Yeah Lorry said she was a mouse

    Smoked the cheese and light it out

    Monely, money money hoe

    Chinka, chinka, chinka, kablow

    Lorry was a witch

    Yeah a sneaky little b*tch

    So fuc*k that little mouse?

    ''Cause I''m an Albatraoz ?

    ? I''m an Albatraoz

    So what?! ?

    "Paige," said Judith with a conflicted tone.

    "What? I''m only singing Jake''s new song," she replied innocently.

    Mom looked at me, clearly at a loss for words because of all the swearing in the lyrics.

    "I should have put Paige and not Lorry as the name of the mouse..." I murmured, earning a swift kick from Paige under the table.

    "I think it''s cool. But Mom would ground me if she caught me singing it..." Missy admitted.

    I released I''m An Albatraoz and Waves (Mr. Probz) this week.

    Just then, the doorbell rang.

    One of the house staff quietly went to answer it. A momentter, footsteps approached, and Carly and Sam appeared at the entrance of the dining room.

    "Hey, everyone," Carly greeted cheerfully.

    Sam raised a brow, already scanning the table. "Smells amazing in here. Did we get here just in time?"

    "Don''t worry," I said,ughing. "I told Mom to make enough. I know you, Sam—even though you said you''d have dinner at Carly''s... make yourself at home."

    "So, is everyone ready for the girls'' night?" Paige asked.

    The four of them squealed a little in excitement.

    "Okay, I''m out to my room..." I said, already standing up.

    ------

    Support Link: https://[emailprotected]/c/MHJunior [Up to 35+ advance chapters]

    Please give a Review and Powerstone if you like the novel

Novel