CHAPTER 142: A SHADE-Y DEVELOPMENT

Eirin could not believe what she heard. It was not like Shade’s usual self. It was a new, beautiful, and odd side of him that was now being revealed, a vulnerable side that she had only seen glimpses of before. She pulled him by his shirt to observe his face closer.

"Who are you and what did you do to the original Shade?"

Shade laughed, a genuine, joyful sound that came from his gut, his gums revealed in a wide uninhibited grin. His dark eyes, usually so serious and intense, were now gone, mere slits of amusement as he leaned closer to Eirin. His warm breath, a gentle puff against her ear, sent a strange shiver down her spine.

"Shade is gone," he whispered, his voice a low, playful murmur. "I took his body, and now I’ll take his life too."

The words, so full of nonsense, were a testament to the new, easy comfort that had now settled between them.

Eirin frowned. "You better stop joking."

"You started it."

Eirin shook her head, a soft, exasperation motion as she glared at him. Her heart, which had been a frantic, terrified drum just moments before, was now a soft, gentle rhythm in her chest.

"Anyway, I’ll go back to the dorm now. Coleen will get worried if she wakes up and I’m not there."

"Okay. Let’s continue your training again once I get back," Shade said, his voice a low, serious murmur. He gently patted Eirin’s shoulder before he turned and walked away, his movements a graceful, silent, and confident thing.

Hearing his words, the casual, easy promise of a future plan together, reminded Eirin that he would be gone in a mission. An aching emptiness settled in her stomach, a quiet, terrifying worry that was a stark contrast to the joy he had just brought her. She hadn’t even had the chance to say her apology, to thank him for his help.

Eirin walked her way back to the dormitory, alone and thinking about the expression on Shade’s face, a soft, genuine smile that had completely disarmed her. Her mind, a hazy cloud of confused emotions, floated as she found her way into their room, a small, warm haven of comfort and rest. When she got inside, she saw Coleen still sleeping soundly, a tired lump under the covers, as if she had no care in the world. Her peaceful, quiet presence was a comforting sight that made Eirin feel relaxed as well, an internal sigh of relief.

The familiar scent of the room, a warm, comforting mixture of old books and Coleen’s perfume made her sleepy, and as she struggled not to lay on her bed, she sat on her desk and pulled out her stationary kit. The letter she had been keeping, waiting to send back home, was there too, a small, fragile piece of her old life that not felt so distant, so foreign.

But there had been too many things that happened, too many beautiful, and horrifying events to not tell them to her friend and grandmother. She had to write it all down, had to share it all with them. Although she had to tone it down for Bright. He wouldn’t even believe magical things that Eirin witnessed could be true.

Eirin began writing, her pen a slow, deliberate rhythm against the crisp, white paper. She filtered the things that were too extreme for them to know, the bad things she experienced. She kept it all positive, focusing on the beautiful, the mundane, the happy, but with an aching longing to see them again, to go back to a time when life was simple and predictable.

A small, genuine smile formed on her face as she continued talking about her new friends, the loud, boisterous Trixtan, the kind, gentle Pierre, the powerful, cold Calixta, the wise, dependable Link, the beautiful, chaotic Coleen, and the enigmatic, but surprisingly kind Shade Cromwell. She wrote about her new life, her new abilities, and the new path she was now on.

Her eyes, a distant light, looked out of the window, and she saw younger students playing on the open space in between the male dormitory and female dormitory buildings. They were running, their bodies a small, joyful blur of motion, using their Flairs, little burst of magic and light that filled the air, and laughing all over, an innocent sound that was the opposite of the difficult life Eirin was now living.

Eirin rested her chin on her palm as she continued watching them from afar, a wistful look on her face. She wondered, her mind a questioning place, if she would have enjoyed her childhood more if she had grown up here, in this terrifying yet beautiful place, knowing about her ability instead of trying to live a normal life back in the Infirmus.

But then, she wouldn’t have met Ava and Bright. The thought of her two best friends, a small, comforting balm to her soul, was a reminder of the delicate past she would not trade for anything.

Seeing that scene made Eirin unable to stop thinking about it, till she reached the point of thinking about her parents. She couldn’t ask her grandmother about them, because whenever she did, her grandmother’s face would show a hurt expression, an aching pain that Eirin did not wish to see.

The silence, though an unspoken lie, was a small, fragile protection that Eirin had to honor.

"What kind of parents did I have? Do I look like them?"

Eirin stared at the sky out of the window, a vast, open sea of blue and white. She started imagining the appearances of her parents. Maybe, just maybe, she had her mother’s eyes, the same beautiful amber that looks sweeter than honey. Her father must have had this dark brown hair. Just imagining it all made her smile, a soft, pretty curve of her lips that was filled with hope. Wondering maybe her parents were also students in the Senerra Academy back then.

Maybe they fell in love with each other after going through some missions together, a dangerous, thrilling, and breathtaking romance. Or maybe, her mother fell in love at first sight with her father. Maybe he was so handsome, so charismatic, so utterly captivating, that her mother couldn’t help herself but fall for him.

The thought, so full of childish innocence, made Eirin giggle, a soft, bubbly sound that was filled with joy. Growing up without even knowing what her parents looked like, or what their names were, Eirin had coped by imagining them in her head, by creating a beautiful story that was all her own. She knew her grandmother had a good reason as to why she hides their identity from her, and maybe that was a way to protect Eirin from something.

’Did they die protecting me? Or maybe they’re still alive somewhere. Are they the reason I’m here?’

The questions, a sharp, painful ache in her heart, filled her mind. Eirin’s gaze landed on the extra paper on her side, and back to the letter she wrote for her grandmother. She wanted to ask, to beg for the truth, to have an honest conversation about the past, but she couldn’t.

"Maybe... just a little," she said to herself, but she couldn’t do it.

The fear of seeing her grandmother’s pain, of tearing open a painful wound, was too much for her to bear.

’Wait a minute.’

An idea came right into her mind, her eyes sparkled in excitement.

"If grandma grew up here, and taught here in the academy, then isn’t it impossible for the people closest to her not to know who her daughter or son was?"

Eirin stood from her seat, but her chair fell to the floor, causing a loud sound, and waking Coleen up.

"I’m so sorry, Coco. I didn’t mean to wake you," Eirin whispered, an apologetic grimace on her face.

Coleen rubbed her eyes as she yawned, a tired sound that filled the room. "That was a great nap for me," she muttered as she turned to Eirin, her eyes still half closed. "What were you doing, Ei?"

"Oh, just finishing the letters I’m going to send to my grandmother and my friend back in Infirmus."

Coleen yawned as she nodded, her eyes now fully open, a slow, gentle awakening that was proof of her deep sleep.

"I’ll go with you this time," Coleen said, her voice still half-asleep, a loyal, loving promise.

Seeing Coleen like that, so loyal, so kind, and selfless, somewhat reminded Eirin that this girl in front of her might have met her grandmother before too, just like Link and Shade. She was a living connection to her past.

"This might be a little random but say, Coco, have you met my grandmother before? Eleanor Luxfield?"

Coleen tilted her head, a confused, sleepy look on her face as she got up from the bed. "Well, yeah. I saw her once when I first got here, back when she was still the school director. Why do you ask? Do you miss her?"

Eirin smiled and nodded. "But I’m also kind of wondering about my parents. I don’t know who they were, so maybe you guys have me them, since they all must have been from here."