CHAPTER 241: YOU CAN CHOOSE TO STAY

"Are you looking for a house?" Hazel peered over Ranon’s shoulder at his laptop screen. She was wearing his shirt, and it was in the middle of the night. Ranon had been very busy lately. He would come very late, and Renna was worried.

That old woman was overthinking it. She kept telling Hazel what to do and even offered a few tips about how she could spice things up in the bedroom, which made Hazel’s skin crawl.

’We are fine, Renna. You are worrying too much. I know him.’

That last word caught Hazel off guard. She genuinely believed that Ranon wouldn’t do anything to break her trust. And knowing her past with Arlo, to believe Ranon completely was a great deal.

"Hm. I think a house will be more convenient for a child. We can build a small playground in the backyard, and when Ashlyn grows a little bit older, she can have her friends come over."

"That sounds nice," Hazel said.

But then, she realized one thing: she wouldn’t be here the next year. Their contract would be over, and somehow, it didn’t sit well with her. She was comfortable with her life now, especially when she didn’t need to hide a lot of things from Ranon.

However, she knew that one day she had to leave.

Yet, when she saw that Ranon was planning a future with their daughter, while she wouldn’t be part of it, Hazel felt restless. She didn’t even want to think about that at all.

"What is it?" Ranon asked. He scratched her head when Hazel rested her chin on his shoulder and hugged him from behind the chair he was sitting in.

"Nothing," Hazel replied sulkily. She hated herself whenever she was being indecisive like this. She used to be in control of her life and make her own decisions.

But even the decision that sounded right didn’t feel that way for her.

"What do you think about this house?" Ranon showed a picture of a huge house with a swimming pool and a backyard garden.

"Nice," Hazel replied curtly.

Ashlyn had started crawling now, and her toys were everywhere. It seemed like no matter how many times Renna and Hazel cleaned the house, there would be a messy spot. With a baby, it was normal, although Hazel wondered how that little creature created so much mess.

"What do you think about this one?" Ranon showed another picture.

"You don’t need to ask for my opinion. It’s not like I will live in that house." Hazel wanted to blame it on her postpartum hormones, but even to herself, her remark sounded ridiculous. She knew she was being bitter.

"Why not?" Ranon was still scratching her head, and she felt like a cat. "You don’t want to live in a house? Do you want to live here?"

"No," Hazel said without giving him another explanation.

Both of them were staring at the screen of the laptop; thus, they couldn’t see each other’s expression, but Ranon could imagine hers.

"So? Why are you sulking?"

"I am not." Suddenly, Hazel became irritated. "Forget it. I want to sleep." She let go of Ranon and then walked away, but before she could reach the door, Ranon’s arm stretched past her shoulder and pushed the door closed.

Hazel was surprised because she didn’t feel him coming, and when she turned around, Ranon pushed her against the door and trapped her between his arms.

"Tell me, what’s the problem?" Ranon’s expression turned serious. He looked at her intensely as if he could see her straight through her soul. That was rather scary, though. "There is something wrong; what is it?"

"Nothing." Hazel became annoyed because Ranon wouldn’t drop the topic, but he had every right not to, since she was annoyed with him for no apparent reason.

"There is something." Ranon pressed. He cupped her face now between his palms, cradling it gently. "Are you upset because you thought you were not going to live in that house since the agreement between us will end in six months from now?"

"No." Hazel’s answer came too fast for that to be believable, but Ranon didn’t call her out on it.

"You are lying," he stated. "That’s exactly what bothered you."

"That’s none of your business." Hazel was genuinely upset because he could read her easily. But most of all, she was upset with herself because she was being upset over this trivial matter. Ugh. She didn’t know what else she wanted.

"You do know that we can extend the agreement, right?"

"No, why should we?" Hazel furrowed her brows, but she didn’t look Ranon in the eyes. She took an interest in a bookshelf on the left wall, counting the books, because she didn’t want to deal with this topic of discussion or even confront her feelings.

"I can give you a thousand reasons why we should extend our agreement. But if you hang up on one reason that we can’t, then all of the reasons will not be valid."

If Hazel didn’t realize it herself that they could be together and instead obstinately thought that they should be separated, then no matter what Ranon said, it wouldn’t go through to her.

"That’s the best thing for us."

"Do you really believe that? Because I don’t share the same opinion." Ranon caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. "Look at me."

"What do you want?!" Hazel snapped, and it shocked her. She wanted to apologize because her emotions were all over the place, but Ranon pecked on her lips instead.

"You want to stay," Ranon said. It was more of a statement than a question. He could see through her. Even Hazel couldn’t see it. "Admit it, Hazel. You want this family, too."

"No." Hazel pressed her lips stubbornly.

Ranon kissed her forehead gently this time, and his gentleness made Hazel want to cry. She felt stupid because she wanted to cry, just because she was upset.

How many times had she been upset in the past and had to face difficult situations? She had endured agony and even bullet wounds, but not even once did she cry. She didn’t cry when Arlo and Aubrey told her that they were together and had betrayed her. She didn’t cry.

However, there was something about Ranon’s gentle voice and kisses that stifled her heart. And now, her mind and her heart were not in sync, as if they were fighting against each other for dominance.

"Give me three reasons why it’s not a good choice to stay." Ranon kissed both of her eyes. Hazel cried, and she didn’t even realize it. "Tell me."

Hazel wanted to leave, but when Ranon asked her to give him three reasons why it was a good idea, she couldn’t even think of one.

"Have I ever hindered you from whatever plans or goals you have?"

The answer was no; they worked well together. Even though they weren’t facing the same problem, Ranon had never hindered her movements, especially after the night she stabbed Arlo. There was a tacit understanding between them.

"Have I ever pressured you to explain the things you have done? Or have I threatened you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?"

No. The answer was a ’no’ to any of those questions. At this point, Hazel was only hanging on to her stubbornness.

"I know you love our daughter, Hazel." Ranon kissed her furrowed brows. "You don’t want to get close to her because you think one day you are going to leave her."

Hazel gulped down. She felt as if she was being exposed, and Ranon phrased it well about how she felt. How could he know that?

He was an observer.

A small voice in the back of her head reminded Hazel of what she already knew. It was the obvious answer to her question.

"Why do you have to leave if you can choose to stay?"

"The agreement..."

"Fuck the agreement!"

Hazel shifted her attention back to him and saw the annoyance in Ranon’s face, but then he pressed his forehead against hers, and his voice turned gentle again, the way she was comfortable with.

"It’s not like I will be with someone else when we are separated. Will you?" Ranon moved his face slightly away to see Hazel’s expression, and he got the answer. She wouldn’t do that either. "So, why don’t we stay together in this?"

Hazel didn’t answer him immediately, and it was a rare moment when Ranon talked more than her. Most of the time, it was the other way around.

"If you don’t want to stay because you’re uncomfortable for any reason, consider the benefits of being together." Ranon kissed her lips again, and she didn’t resist him. "Or we could rewrite the agreement every year and annoy Lucian to no end."

Hazel chuckled when she heard the last offering.

"We have been in this since the beginning; why don’t we see the ending, too?"

There was still no conclusion to their conversation that night, but Hazel felt more carefree. She hadn’t made a decision yet, but deep down, she knew she had already made up her mind.

She was simply stubbornly denying it for no reason.

At the end of the month, Ranon came to pick her up from the office so they could attend the charity event together.

This would be the first time they met with Arlo again after that bloody night. Not only that, but Aubrey would make an appearance as well, after the disaster that happened with the Lozens.