CHAPTER 364: WITHOUT QUESTION, ALWAYS

[KAWAI]

Tamiko knew what was waiting for him back home, but even that didn’t make his heart beat any slower than it already was. He knew that this was a cursed position and that shit was never going to be on his side.

So, when the portal closed behind him and he saw his Kosta in his father’s arms, Tamiko felt a piece of him break. He had never seen a sight like that, and he wished that he had stayed away for a while longer.

He wondered what had happened for the king to comfort Erasthai. This was like an illusion that he could never be rid of, and yet as he stared at the people he cared about, he couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for both of them.

He wanted Kosta.

Oh, he wanted the Lycan Chief so badly, but he had to think right.

He had to try and be the one who made this choice, because it was too difficult a choice for his Erasthai. His omega had suffered enough times already, and He what’s about to subject him to more of that.

"Baby..." Tamiko whispered softly, his eyes tender as he stood his ground, not sure of what he would do when he reached his Erasthai. It wasn’t the easiest of choices, and he hated himself for the decision he had made.

He despised the way that things were because of him, and he wished that time would stop and he would just spend the rest of his life with Kosta, frozen on a timeline where nothing worked save for the both of them and their love.

But even that was too huge a dream for Tamiko.

He knew it so very well.

"You’re back," Kosta said, his tone uncertain.

He hadn’t moved a step from where he was... scared of what was coming. Tamiko had come back and he wasn’t covered in blood.

He wasn’t having any weapons on him, if anything, He was in the clothes that he had woken up in, something he had changed into when he decided to portal back to the love of his life.

"Tamiko," the king spoke, his voice carrying the same weight as that of Kosta. Tamiko could see what was happening, and he wished for a moment that they did that to make this choice today. But it was one that had to be made.

The woman he was tasked with killing was in the house, and the king was outside, along with his Erasthai, and his uncle, not to mention that Danny was there too. All of this just weighed on Tamiko’s shoulders more than he had thought possible.

Standing there, looking into Kosta’s hesitant eyes, Tamiko knew that nothing was ever going to be more real than this position he was in. He was to do the one thing that would shatter hearts.

Happiness was something he should have been ready to let go of the moment he had stepped back into Kawai, and yet he had been desperate enough to hope that there was a happy ending for him and Kosta.

It was his only prayer for years on end, and now it was like the moon had abandoned him, too.

"It’s almost sundown, kitten," Tamiko said, his legs moving gently towards his family, while his eyes were focused on Kosta, who was still staring at him, uncertain.

Of course, Kosta was no longer held by the king in a reassuring hug. Instead, the king had stepped aside to see what would happen. Tamiko could feel the angst in the air, and he hated that this was all because of him.

He had never had to decide so cruelly like this, but he had to do it.

For Kosta, if not for himself. He had to think for the sake of the man he had made the choice to love and protect with everything, even if that meant that there would be a fight sometime in the future.

"You didn’t..." Kosta trailed off in uncertainty.

"No, baby. I... I didn’t find Yilena... I’m sorry, my precious. I... Forgive me, baby," Tamiko said, as he let out a defeated chuckle. He hated what this meant for him and Kosta, but he had to wait it out.

He had to be smart about this. There was nothing comforting about what he was doing, and yet when he mentioned that he failed to find Yilena, Kosta didn’t seem to believe him.

The man whom he had loved for years was intelligent, and Kosta knew that too. He knew that Tamiko had found out the truth. He could see it in the smile that was so defeated, and it was haunting for Igor Kostantin.

Anyone with eyes could see the desperation in Tamiko’s eyes, the silent defeat that lingered because of the choice he had made.

A choice that would see to it that his Erasthai was happy, but what was happiness if this meant a goodbye for him and Kosta? What was happiness if Kosta had to leave him? If he had to lose Kosta?

"Kaito..." Kosta whimpered in realization.

Tamiko felt his heart shatter for his princess.

This wasn’t what he had wanted for Kosta.

This wasn’t how he had imagined coming back to Kosta.

This wasn’t what he had meant to happen.

He had been desperate to win that battle for Kosta. He wanted to get those answers for Kosta. He had wanted to be on the good end of the love he had always cherished, but now, he was just a man who had been bested.

A man who had been forced to make the choice between love and life.

A man who had been forced to say goodbye in the worst of ways, all because he wouldn’t let himself be the one to give up, asserted that he had stayed alive for years on end.

He knew that his father had to have a reason for keeping Yilena away from everyone. He knew people like Sanji only because they were always around and because they had been desperate to bring down the king.

And yet, even with that information, they had never been able to get to Yilena. Sanji and his Furfante crew could have easily gotten his aunt and forced his father into submission, yet even they hadn’t.

That in itself meant that the king loved Yilena in a different way. And maybe it was because Zula herself wasn’t in the mood for their mother’s wrath. But would that even matter right now?

Yilena Sidorova lived, and with that, the flame of love that Tamiko and Kosta had invested in for so long had started to fade. Oh, but it was the worst possible thing for Tamiko, and he despised himself for it.

"It’s okay, my precious," Tamiko cooed as he stared into Kosta’s defeated eyes.

He wanted to say more. He wanted to console Kosta. He needed to say something that would make Kosta feel better, but what the fuck was he supposed to say when it seemed like everything was working against him?

He had run out of time, and by coming home like this, he knew what he was expecting. This was the last time he would see Kosta, at least until he found a way around the chaos, but would that be long?

And if that didn’t happen soon, what the fuck was Kosta supposed to do?

"No... It’s not okay. We still have time until the deadline, so I can still ask Nana to let the challenge go. You can take on another. You can fix this. We can be together as always. We don’t have to go separately," Kosta begged.

Tamiko felt his heart clench in his chest.

He hadn’t expected this kind of pain from what he had chosen not to do. He had thought of how much it would hurt, but now he hates it. He despised the fact that, regardless of what he tried to do today, the choice had long been made.

He had to respect the challenge, and he had to give in. This was so fucked-up it was pissing him off.

"We’ll be fine, baby. I promise we will. Besides, I am still the price. You can always see me if you have matters that need my attention, alright? I’m not leaving Kawai, Kosta. I will be here, always. But for now, I have to leave. I have to let things be.

"I have to let you be happy, even if it is not with me," Tamiko said.

Kosta felt like punching sense into his Erasthai. They hadn’t fought long and hard for them to end up like this, and that to after the first beautiful memory of his house.

Kosta was already blaming himself because if Tamiko hadn’t come over, this challenge wouldn’t have been issued, and he wouldn’t have lost the one man he loved with all of him.

Kosta wanted to challenge the royals, but even he knew that there was no way without letting the cat out of the bag. There was so much at risk, and if Tamiko was willing to make the sacrifice, Kosta was aware that he had to try and be understanding too.

But was it bad that the Lycan Chief wanted to be selfish with the mate the fates had given him? Was he bad for wanting Tamiko all to himself? But then again, this wasn’t just about Yilena.

This was about Nana accepting Tamiko.

This was about their only family that Kosta had had for years on end, and it was about Tamiko respecting the rules that had been set. He wouldn’t be able to navigate through if he didn’t think straight, and yet Kosta didn’t even want to think right now.

All he wanted was Tamiko. His prince. His Erasthai.

"Please don’t leave me—"

"Forgive me, my precious," Tamiko said, before disappearing through a portal, conceding defeat.