CHAPTER 401: YOU KISS ME ONLY WHEN YOU CRY

[KAWAI]

The ground was suddenly warm and covered in fur.

The angry winds had toned down into an air-conditioned space. The moonlit sky had been reduced to a space that only ever had lavender-scented candles that soothed. The air was no longer as harsh as it had been.

And the darkness?

It was gone.

Just like the stab wound to his heart.

And that was when Kosta sat up quicker than he ever had, his hand on his head as he tried to take in the place he was in. He wasn’t even sure he was in the palace grounds anymore.

This place was different.

Way too different.

Yet the scent of the historic Hinata madness still lingered. The ache in his heart hadn’t been quenched, but the kind that he had made himself was gone. Perhaps the afterlife had still chosen the Hinata family for him. What a shame.

"Even in death, you can still smell him, how unlucky," Kosta sighed as he took in his surroundings. The air was thick and different from anything he had smelled to acquire ever smelled. It was as if this were a whole other world.

Yet at the farthest edge of the bed, right where his legs were, was a familiar silhouette, one that was staring at him in disapproval and anger that was so new to Kosta. He had not expected this.

Goodbyes were frustrating.

But explaining why he chose goodbyes was just something he wasn’t ready for. And so, he sank back into the bed, covering his head with the fur blanket, hoping to mute out anything that could be around him.

A part of him expected it all to be pulled from him in an instant.

Yet as the time went by, Kosta noticed there was nothing. Just the weight at the edge of the bed, still as fuck, and a breathing that was so even and slow you would think that noise was the last thing that was seeded in this room.

And once again, Kosta sat up, tired from the speculation of what needed to be done and what he was meant to expect at this point. Even then, the figure at the edge of the bed did not move.

"Won’t you say something?" Kosta asked when the sun rose and light streamed into the room, and there wasn’t much said yet. The silence was suffocating, and the fact that he was alive was the least of his worries at the moment.

He wanted to hear him say something.

"What do you want me to say, princess?" Tamiko asked softly, not even bothering to turn and look at the man who was clearly on his bed. He loved the man to bits, but right now, Tamiko was not ready to lose him, not again.

He was scared of what that truth would be like. Of Kosta disappearing just because he hadn’t been enough for the man to stay for. It was crazy, and it hurt to the core, but what else was to be done?

"You restored your protection on me," Kosta pointed out when he didn’t know what to start with. It was like this was the first time he was seeing Tamiko, and he didn’t know what to say, so the prince wouldn’t be upset.

That in itself had him wondering if this was the right place for him.

It had been a while since Kosta had slept so soundly, since he had had so much peace and never had to worry about what tomorrow would look like for him. It had been a really long while, and gods, was he the happiest man right now.

But at the same time, he had questions about what the fuck had happened back there. He was sure he had stabbed himself in the heart a few times to make sure he never woke up. He was an Omega Lycan Chief.

And he was at his worst last night, which meant that he should have died. He should have faded already. He had wanted to leave, and now he was alive, healthy, and healed. But his heart was heavier than before.

His heart was so close to shattering again for some reason, but this time even he wasn’t sure what to do or say to make it all better. Perhaps it was the only way out for him, but there was much to be considered right now.

Every question at the tip of his tongue felt so darn heavy that he opted for the one that did not reflect what he had in mind. But was that supposed to be comforting for him or for Tamiko?

Was it supposed to be graceful that he had been at his worst and that despite all his years as a Lycan Chief and a lethal warrior of Kawai, the one thought that had been in his mind was the fact that Tamiko still cared for him?

Was that supposed to be solace, or was it to remind him that at the end of the day, the Lycan prince would forever be a ghost he would never shake off?

"I never lifted them, princess. And now I don’t know whether I’m supposed to be thankful that I made sure they were dormant for a week before I left or if I should be worried that you would try to lose yourself again.

"What am I supposed to do, Kosta. Tell me, maybe I would find a way out of this for us," Tamiko said in earnest as he sniffled, and it was then that Kosta realized that he was crying.

The boy he had met in Grealor had grown up, yet his heart was still weak for Kosta. His heart still beat for Kosta, and to hurt to see that this man was crying for him, because of him, and perhaps over him.

It was just not what Kosta had anticipated, and perhaps that was why he pulled the covers off of him, rushed to the edge of the bed, and sat on the cold floor right at Tamiko’s feet.

"Everything hurt last night," Kosta breathed in earnest, as he reached out to wipe Tamiko’s tears.

He had never wanted to be the reason Tamiko cried.

Hell, he hated those tears, and the fact that Tamiko’s tears were not meant to manipulate him hurt even more. Because Kosta knew what he had caused so much pain to the one email he had sworn he would protect with his life.

"Because of Sanji?" Tamiko asked humorlessly, even as he chucked softly like that way to the lowest of blows, he had to deal with it again. Perhaps he should have expected this when he left without fixing things with Kosta.

Maybe this was what his fate was bound to be. Yet even then, he sat there, trying to wiggle through his courage not to go into the afterlife and murder Sanjiro a second time.

"What? No... Sanji knew what we were getting into. He was teaching me how to be a good omega... for you. How to be good enough so you wouldn’t leave me again. I just didn’t think that after everything, I would be the one who had to take him out.

"A part of me always knew that I would kill him, I just didn’t expect that he would leave like that," Kosta said.

Tamiko stared at the man like that was the most incredulous thing he had ever heard from a person, yet the sincerity in it was evident.

And Tamiko didn’t know if he was supposed to be glad Sanji was a good tutor or mad that Sanji had been the one to teach his Erasthai what life truly was.

"You do know you don’t have to do anything to have my attention, right?" Tamiko asked as he stared into Kosta’s eyes as if to remind the man of the position he actually held in the palace and even better in Tamiko’s heart.

This was some sickening, cringey shit Tamiko was hearing, and gods, he wanted to clean his ears after this, because what the actual hell was this man talking about?

"Not when I was competing with the suitors Yilena matched you with, I didn’t know," Kosta pouted casually, and Tamiko was sure his Erasthai had lost his goddamn mind.

"Fucking hell, princess. I love you. You. Not some whores paraded around for me. You. I fucking let you go with Sanji because that was what you fucking wanted, what the fuck?" Tamiko asked in confusion.

"But you didn’t... want me?" Kosta asked, and to that, Tamiko laughed, before capturing Kosta’s lips in a hungry kiss.