CHAPTER 403: RUIN ME WHILE AT IT, YEAH?

[TAMIKO]

(Today)

The kiss was a punishment, to say the least.

What had started hungry had turned into an angry kiss, one that was expressive as fuck.

And Tamiko...

He let it happen.

He didn’t want to be in charge anymore, perhaps because of what he had to say to Kosta this morning, but perhaps he was still hopeful that at the end of this, everything would be fine.

Then again, would it really be, when his Erasthai’s hands were all over him, desperate more than Tamiko himself had been.

"Baby..." Tamiko trailed off when Kosta got a little handy with him. Tamiko knew it was probably because of the mark on Kosta’s neck, and he wished he had the strength to say no to his Erasthai.

"Keep talking and I’ll walk," Kosta warned.

Tamiko stilled for a moment.

He hadn’t expected this, but gods, was it the hottest thing he had ever heard. Maybe he wasn’t ordering the fact that this was a threat to him, but even if it was, Tamiko didn’t mind; he would do whatever the fuck his Erasthai wanted. Anything.

’Well then, I won’t say anything,’ Tamiko teased the mind link.

Kosta froze.

"What?" Kosta asked, surprise evident on his face.

’What, what, krushka?’ Tamiko asked in the mind link.

"Is the mark real?" Kosta asked.

Tamiko stilled again.

He hadn’t expected it to be like this, but fuck it if he wasn’t always a fumbling mess when it came to Kosta. He had been sure that would be another subject or perhaps for some other day, but then his papa was right.

There had to be conversations about whatever this was, and in the most direct of ways.

They loved each other.

Gods, it was agonizing to even watch, but then there was also the fact that they had a history. One they were yet to work through, and to add to that, there was now a marketing mark between them.

"I can explain," Tamiko spoke.

Kosta stared at him; his eyes filled with emotional turmoil like the Lycan Chief wasn’t sure what the fuck to say to this.

Frankly, Tamiko understood him.

Shit like that was never easy. He knew firsthand what it felt like to be deceived, and honestly, he hadn’t wanted that for Kosta. But then, to be fair, he hadn’t done it to deceive Kosta; he had done it to save the man’s life.

"I thought... I thought it was just all in my head, but last night did happen. That you didn’t let me establish myself before you showed up. I thought... the Tamiko I fell in love with wouldn’t let the knife so much as pierce my skin.

"And now I have a real mating mark too? What the actual fuck, Tamiko? What the hell?" Kosta asked angrily.

He was furious, and he had every right to be. The previous night was just a lot for the Lycan chief. He had been hoping it was just another nightmare that he wouldn’t wake up from. He wondered if it was everything that he had dreamed of.

And when he woke up and saw Tamiko on the edge of the bed, denial was the first thing Kosta had leaned into. Because there was no way that this kind of his would have happened.

It didn’t make it any easier that even as he was angry, Tamiko’s hair was falling down his shoulders, making the man look like a god of sorts.

Kosta got even angrier.

Because now he was horny and pissed off.

This was the kind of hell he hadn’t wanted even for his worst enemy. Perhaps for him and Tamiko, but still, it didn’t make him any better about all that had just transpired. This was pure madness, and Kosta despised himself for leaning into Tamiko that fast.

"Well, my Kosta wouldn’t have let himself be that weak! My Kosta would have fought. What the fuck even happened to you? One moment you’re pushing me away, and the next you’re all over Sanjiro and having him come to meetings in your scent?

"And you have the nerve to ask me when I was? I was fucking saving us! For ten years, I waited. I tried to fucking beg Yilena to let us be. I threatened my own papa with his sister’s life.

"I told him to choose. Put my papa in the worst possible position, and all he had to say was he supported me. His little sister, the one he fucking loved with everything, was at risk of death by the hands of his own son, and all he said was he was on my side.

"I went against my family for you. I killed Zula for you. What the hell do you want from me, then? I let you go, didn’t I? I fucking let you go because that was what you wanted. You didn’t need me anymore;

"...and the moment I let you finally go, you grab the nearest steak knife and stab yourself in the heart fucking thrice and blame me? Well, I’m fucking sorry I didn’t show up fast because I thought you were playing games.

"To think you fucking did this because YOU killed Sanji! What do you want with me then? What the hell do you need from me? I am trying my very best to understand you. I’m bending over backwards for you, and even that doesn’t make you happy!

"Tell me, what the hell do you want me to do?!!" Tamiko shouted angrily.

He was fed up.

He was angry.

Oh, he was scared, too.

He didn’t know what he could do if Kosta had done that and he wasn’t around; hell, he was scared of living in a world that didn’t have his Kosta in it.

Tamiko had crossed so many boundaries because of Kosta, and he didn’t blame the Lycan Chief for any of his decisions. Frankly, if he had to do it again, he would. He would fight for Kosta until his very last breath.

The way that Kosta had curled up last night still haunted hand, while he was glad Kosta was alive and well, Tamiko wasn’t sure he would ever recover from that. Now they were here, and he didn’t even know what to do to make it right.

He could have apologized for the mark on Kostya’s neck, but they both knew that Timko wasn’t apologetic one bit about that. He would mark Kosta over and over. In every place, regardless of what anyone said.

He would do whatever it took to never lose Kosta again.

If they fought daily, then he was okay with that, but he wasn’t sure what his mistake was in this. He was trying to mend things, yet it was as if everything he was doing was not going in the right direction.

This wasn’t what their lives were supposed to be, but what the hell, right?

"He was there!! When you were busy being the crown prince. When you chose the masses and glory over me! He was there for me, and you made me kill him.

"So don’t you fucking stand there and tell me you didn’t know what you did to me," Kosta cried out as he punched the nearest wall, ignoring the way the palace walls shook.

"If you loved him so much, then why the fuck didn’t you follow him then!!" Tamiko burst out in anger.

"I was going to!! You fucking interrupted, remember?!"