Chapter 163 163: Ascension - Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead - NovelsTime

Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

Chapter 163 163: Ascension

Author: bearateme_
updatedAt: 2025-09-20

We stayed in that skull-shaped booth way longer than necessary.

I don't even remember who ordered the second round.

One second, Dario was mimicking a toilet ghost with a British accent, and the next, another batch of drinks appeared out of nowhere, fogging up the already gloomy booth with more green mist and questionable scents.

"Alright, last round or I'm going to start believing I actually am a vampire," Seraphina said, squinting into her glass.

"Don't worry," Dario smirked, "if anyone here's turning into a bloodsucker, it's Noah. Look at him, brooding like someone just stole his tragic backstory."

I flipped him off without lifting my head. "I have a tragic backstory."

"Exactly," he said, sipping dramatically.

Eventually, Aurelia stretched like a cat on a velvet couch.

"Let's go. This place is cool, but my butt's falling asleep on these bones." She was right. The spooky charm was starting to wear off. The music was still playing outside—some creepy violin number in reverse, but it was fading into the background now.

I stood up first, brushing off invisible dust from my robe. "Let's walk around a bit. Streets should be clear by now."

"Clear of what?" Erza asked, cracking her knuckles.

"Normal people. Who avoid edgy cafes shaped like corpses," I replied.

We stepped out, realising that it was almost evening.

The moment we left the booth, a weird silence fell over us again—just for a second. Like the café sucked up all sound inside its haunted little shell and spat us out into the world again.

Once outside, the streets were way less spooky than the café tried to be.

Dim lights hovered mid-air, casting a dull yellow glow on cobblestones that looked older than Dario's jokes.

Vendors were still open, mostly selling enchanted trinkets and snacks that seemed too tasty to not give a try.

Dario bought one.

Obviously.

"It's a marshmallow," he said, chewing the gummy 'iris' part. "Tastes like regret and strawberry."

"Is that your review for everything now?" I asked, not feeling sursprised at his antics.

"Yup. Catchy, right?"

We passed a magician doing card tricks on a street corner. He floated his cards, spun them mid-air, and tried to wow a bunch of kids who didn't even blink.

They were too used to real magic to be impressed by a dude in a top hat.

"I feel bad for him," Aurelia muttered.

"I don't," Seraphina said. "He just made that kid's hair vanish."

Sure enough, the magician was now being chased by a bald 10-year-old and an angry mom.

We walked a little faster after that.

The place had that kind of peaceful hum to it—where the city hadn't gone to sleep but wasn't fully awake either.

Some people had a bad habit of sleeping in the afternoons and then staying awake the whole nights.

Everyone looked like they were in some kind of trance. Couples laughing quietly, vendors haggling softly, and every once in a while, a bird made of glowing runes would swoop over our heads and vanish into the sky.

We didn't talk much.

Just walked along the road as Dario kept pointing out stupid stuff.

"See that lamppost? Doesn't it look like a Cat's third eye?"

"Bro, that cat's got a third eye."

"Wait—is that a floating baby or am I hallucinating again?" Dario exclaimed again, gaining our attention.

Except this time…he wasn't wrong.

It was a floating baby. Its mom was a wind mage, hovering him up for giggles.

"Must be nice," Erza said, watching them. "Just…living."

"Without monsters or war breathing down your neck," I added.

"Or expectations," Seraphina mumbled.

We all heard her, but no one said anything.

Aurelia gently elbowed me. "Shut it, Noah—you really are a bad influence to the group."

"Yeah," I admitted. "But I'm not the usual doom-and-gloom stuff."

"Oh?"

"I just…I keep planning every second of my life around danger. Like…I can't even sit in a dumb booth with fake blood and bad puns without checking for exits. That's not normal."

"Well, you're not normal," Erza said bluntly.

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it. You're not normal, Noah. You're someone who's carrying too much. But we're here too. We're not glass. We break sometimes, sure. But we've got glue."

"That was deep," Dario said, mock-sniffing.

"I have my moments," she shrugged.

We turned into a quieter street, this one lined with tall, twisted trees with lanterns hanging off the branches.

Fireflies—or maybe mana wisps drifted through the air. The breeze was gentle. I watched the way everyone looked up at the trees like they were glowing.

And for once, I didn't check over my shoulder.

I just…let myself be there.

No death missions.

No assassins.

No looming trials.

Just walking, laughing and existing.

Seraphina bumped her shoulder into mine. "You okay?"

"For now."

She smiled. "That's enough."

We kept walking.

Nowhere important.

No destination.

Just wandering.

And in the back of my head, Damien whispered.

'You're allowed to live, too, Noah.

Even if it's just for tonight.

Even if I'll regret it later.

Because maybe that's what makes it worth remembering.'

***

——————————

I stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up my shirt for the third time.

It still didn't feel right. The sleeves were too tight, the collar too loose, and my hair?

Don't even get me started.

My reflection blinked back at me, unimpressed.

"This is a big day, you idiot," I muttered to myself. "Act like it."

Today wasn't just another strange morning in the Universe.

Neither was it about managing timelines or fixing plot holes in reality.

No.

Today, I was finally being awarded the last fragment.

The final missing piece to Godhood~

I would soon be an official god.

Not just a 'writer' Demi-God or a guy in charge of weaving fates and scribbling destinies.

No.

Today, I got to ascend from the title of just an "Author" and become something bigger.

I was finally going to leave my title of a Demi God behind with actual worship, temples, possibly floating palaces, and worshippers who actually say "praise Bearateme" instead of "ugh, the author did it again."

'This was it!!' I thought, my lips spreading wider by the moment.

Kekeke

Kakakakak

Hehehehehe

HAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I was finally going to become a God!

***

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