CHAPTER 965: CHAPTER 962: "THERE IS A LOQUAT TREE IN THE COURTYARD.

"You must grow into a person you can be proud of."

Lin Yuzi’s lips turned from pale to rosy, even becoming a bright red.

Lipstick was smudged on her lips, very close to her was Su Lixian’s eyelashes. The breath she exhaled sprayed upon her face.

"You must grow into a free person."

The bright red color coated her lips, so that they were no longer colorless.

"Shout to the white bird, you’ve grown into a very fine person..."

Su Lixian’s singing voice was very faint and subtle. There wasn’t much intense emotion, yet one could feel the intense love this lady held in her heart.

The light slightly shifted, and Lin Yuzi saw that those eyes so close, seemed like a candle flame gradually being covered by the wind.

Su Lixian’s fingers began to tremble, gradually, her singing voice became lower and lower, her eyes grew darker and darker...

"Clink."

The lipstick fell to the ground.

The bright red color traced a long line, from Lin Yuzi’s lips to the edge of her cheek.

"Clatter."

A glass bottle fell to the ground with a crisp sound, starry lights still swirling within, encapsulating the long history of humanity.

Lin Yuzi did not pick it up. She bent down, trembled, and silently wept. Her tightly clenched fist pressed against her throat, as if it could suppress the overflowing grief and anger filling her whole body.

...

Su Lixian remained in a coma for several days since then, even if she awoke occasionally, she refused Lin Yuzi’s feeding. She wanted to leave the last remaining food for Lin Yuzi so that Lin Yuzi could finally take the special medicine out.

She even suggested that after her death, Lin Yuzi could eat her corpse.

On the fourteenth day in the cave, it seemed both of them had a premonition. Lin Yuzi held Su Lixian, sitting in a sliver of sunlight, listening to her faint breathing, growing weaker and weaker.

Su Lixian could no longer speak, so Lin Yuzi asked for the last time.

Do you regret it?

Su Lixian’s fingers moved slightly, slowly writing in Lin Yuzi’s palm.

—No.

Lin Yuzi asked.

Lixian, if you had the chance to do it all over again, would you take Su Shize’s glass bottle?

Su Lixian wrote.

—Yes.

Lin Yuzi asked again.

Is there anything you want to say to your family? I can take it out for you.

Su Lixian’s fingers moved with difficulty; she couldn’t write long sentences. She could only write concise and clear short sentences.

Fingers moved slightly, Lin Yuzi felt a tickling sensation in her palm, and Su Lixian’s writing was very heavy.

—Wen, Sheng.

—Mom, Mom, love, you.

Lin Yuzi felt as if she was falling.

Falling into this brutal and magnificent battle of civilization, falling into this vast and uncertain human love.

She said in a choked voice, trembling.

Lixian, you will always be my best true friend. I love you too.

Su Lixian seemed to have smiled.

Her facial muscles were too stiff to discern if she smiled or not. But Lin Yuzi felt that Su Lixian must be smiling, and that her smile must be very beautiful, even if she couldn’t see it.

Her fingers moved a bit, and Lin Yuzi received a reply.

Love.

The first word was written lightly and slowly.

Love.

Then, the same second word was written a bit faster.

Love.

Lastly, the third word was written quickly.

Su Lixian continuously wrote three "love" words in her palm.

Love—the answer to all questions.

Do you regret it?

—Because of love, no regrets.

Lixian, if you had the chance to do it all over again, would you take Su Shize’s glass bottle?

—Because of love, I would take it.

Is there anything you want to say to your family? I can take it out for you.

—I want to entrust all complicated and trivial words to "love". I love you all.

Thus, everything was answered.

The most famous mysticist of our time closed her eyes for good at this moment; the last trace she left in the world was three "love".

Her doctor true friend held her tight, the lipstick on her lips brushed past her cheek, like vivid flames burning at the corners of their eyes.

"Love, love, love..."

Only the repeated sobs echoed in the empty cave, with only one life remaining in the cave.

Lin Yuzi finally understood at this moment what the look Su Lixian gave her before was for.

At that moment, when mentioning the rose, the most renowned mysticist of our time wasn’t thinking about future prosperity, nor about her own life.

She said she wanted to stay alive, pitying not her own life but pitying Lin Yuzi’s life.

—If Su Lixian died here, the next to take on the fireseed would only be Lin Yuzi. And once she takes on the fireseed, it means Lin Yuzi would become the next "Su Lixian" to die.

So, when painting roses, Su Lixian looked at Lin Yuzi in that way because she felt guilty.

Sorry for dragging you into this war of civilization.

Sorry for making you the next link the fire (Fire Transmitter).

Sorry I couldn’t stay alive, making you have to accept the same destiny as me.

Sorry...

Sorry.

"..."

Moments later, a savage, beast-like sound echoed in the silent cave, a grief not akin to any human’s.

Boiling water droplets fell to the ground, and Lin Yuzi seemed to revert to a child. She instinctively held onto her still warm true friend, rubbing her cheek again and again, pupils unfocused.

Her hand lay close to Su Lixian’s heart, on that no longer beating heart—paused for a moment. Then, with unwavering determination, she touched the glass bottle inside the inner pocket.

Until—

An old heart broke.

A new Fire Transmitter was born.

...

"Yuzi, we got into the same research institute! This is great."

"Yuzi, I like that guard named Liu. Even though he doesn’t talk and others advise me that his family conditions are too poor, saying he’s not suitable for me. But I just like him. I feel that liking someone shouldn’t be avoided because of their economic conditions, but it should be based on their character. I really like him."

"Yuzi, what do you think of the name ’Wensheng’? I hope that in this cold era, my child might become someone who pays attention to these things. I hope they become gentle, kind, with a sense of justice and compassion."

"Yuzi, do you like roses? My lover gave me a bouquet, and we’ll look at them together."

"Yuzi, it’s so nice to have you by my side."

"Yuzi, help me decide, what should I wear today..."

"Yuzi..."

"Yuzi..."

"..."

"Yuzi, live, on."

...

Lin Yuzi lifted her head.

A cobalt blue glass bottle lay in her hands, nestled against her and Su Lixian’s chest, shimmering with a beautiful blue glow.

As if—

A beautiful blue rose, Su Lixian’s favorite.

Holding this "blue rose," amidst the snow in the crevices, inside the desolate cave, Lin Yuzi, enduring her weakness and hunger, slowly smiled.

Inside the silent cave, a song left unfinished by her true friend echoed.

...

"Child, oh child, please don’t leave never to return, please don’t leave never to return."

"I cannot betray their wishes before they left, I must step into the spring..."

...

Your awakening kindled because you are human,

The silence is deafening when the firewood is all burnt out.

...

[No.48 link the fire · Lin Yuzi]

...

Lin Yuzi’s life didn’t last long.

After being rescued by the Human Self-Rescue Alliance, she quickly chose the next suitable Fire Transmitter—Doctor Su from Dao Ya City’s psychological counseling center.

Dao Ya City was her hometown. Since childhood, she heard old neighbors mention a secret rumor that Bishop Li Mingyue of Dao Ya City held the strength to resist the Deity.

Whenever the Oracle was delivered, the Deity would bypass Dao Ya City, as if it were a place unworthy of attention. But Lin Yuzi knew that there must be something unusual behind the abnormal.

Lin Yuzi thought of giving the glass bottle to Li Mingyue, but considering Li Mingyue’s position as Bishop, it might not be safe. She chose to give the glass bottle to Doctor Su of Dao Ya City. Doctor Su had a clean background, often collaborated with the Human Self-Rescue Alliance, and could discreetly test Li Mingyue.

Due to injuries from the escape, Lin Yuzi soon fell ill and passed away.

Before her death, she dragged her sick body to Su Lixian’s grave, humming folk songs.

While others solemnly and mournfully left chrysanthemums, she placed a vibrant blue rose, seemingly an outlier among the crowd.

She wielded a bright red umbrella, singing loudly in the gray-white rain, lips adorned with vivid lipstick. Amidst the mourning crowds clad in black and white, she was the most striking shade.

"Wind, oh wind, please don’t leave never to return, please don’t leave never to return."

"The white morning glory is right here, the blessings of the world come in dreams..."

After Lin Yuzi’s death, her grave was next to Su Lixian’s.

Two gravestones stood side by side in the rain, as if two true friends had stood there for eternity.

...

People often said that the best friend of Su Lixian in her life was Lin Yuzi, and Lin Yuzi’s best friend was equally Su Lixian.

The regrets and remains of the pioneer should be buried in a bustling spring.

...

[No.49 link the fire · Su Jihe]

...

Su Ming’an returned from the forty-eighth painting.

At this moment, his tear ducts felt sore, but he didn’t shed a tear, only gazed at the forty-seventh and forty-eighth paintings.

In the painting, Su Lixian held a stringed instrument, her head slightly lowered, surrounded by beautiful flowering trees. The blue glass bottle nestled in her chest pocket, radiating a brilliant aura.

In the painting, Lin Yuzi sat in a cave, holding lipstick, as if there was someone beyond the painting whom she was applying lipstick to. She smiled with curved eyes, her lip color vivid, as though she had never been in dire straits.

Su Ming’an seemed to see wings sprouting from the back of that mother. She spread her wings and flew away from the cave. She soared freely in the wind, leaving death behind with the special medicine. All he saw before were fictional stories, and they all survived.

But he knew, they were gone. What he saw were indeed their final moments before death. The story wasn’t perfection, and reality wasn’t a fairy tale.

His eyes felt vaguely sore.

"Su Ming’an..." Noel, who hadn’t seen the paintings, noticed the subtle change in Su Ming’an’s expression.

"I’m fine," Su Ming’an said.

He once thought Su Lixian, the original of his mother, was an irresponsible madman. But he discovered, Su Lixian was indeed a good mother.

He recalled the epitaph on Su Lixian’s gravestone, a small inscription beneath it. It seemed Su Lixian had prepared this message long ago in the research institute.

...

[Wensheng.]

[If you get a chance to come to Mom’s grave in the future, please let Mom say sorry. It was Mom who chose the world, away from you.]

[On the path of growth, you must have hated Mom. Hated Mom for not coming back, hated Mom for not calling you, hated Mom for having the leisure to plant flowers and paint... Mom can only say to you, I’m sorry. It’s Mom who couldn’t be part of your life.]

[Too many memories of people are in Mom’s mind, chaotic and painful. Mom recited them over and over, just to not forget your name.]

[Mom wants all the children in the future to be able to plant flowers and paint, instead of being forced to obliterate history and destroy all art paintings.]

[No matter what you wish to become in the future, Mom won’t interfere. Mom just hopes you can be happy.]

[Whether becoming a pianist, like your father as a guard, or like Mom as a researcher, or a teacher, janitor, doctor, streamer, or a small clerk.]

[Mom didn’t give birth to you to make you great.]

[I hope you are happy.]

...

Family affection is irreplaceable, it’s a scar... constantly reminding him, you’ve already lost it, or perhaps, you never had it.

When Su Ming’an recalled the words on the gravestone, his heart felt like something hit it, a throbbing hidden pain.

People aren’t afraid of losing; they’re afraid of not finding a substitute.

For feelings like "mother’s love," he couldn’t find any substitute. This thing that most people have, he lacks forever.

But thinking of Su Lixian’s smile, her image kissing a photo, writing "love" in Lin Yuzi’s palm when she was dying, Su Ming’an felt as if a missing piece of his heart had been filled partly, although a large hole remained, endlessly breezy.

Dao Ya City, the flourishing parasol tree outside Su Wensheng’s window, transplanted by Su Lixian the year she gave birth to Su Wensheng, was a shared gift with her husband Liu Chongping. As time passed, the parasol tree grew taller and more expansive, becoming like a canopy.

It stood there persistently. By the time Su Ming’an arrived, the parasol tree outside the window was still there.

—A loquat tree in the courtyard, planted by my late wife in the year she died, now grows tall and abundant as a canopy.

He placed his hand on his chest as if there lay a cobalt blue glass bottle. It was also called "Human Hope."

Then, in that instant, he suddenly realized—perhaps long, long ago, his heart had already become that glass bottle, and not any other warm flesh.

"Su Ming’an," Noel said.

Su Ming’an looked up.

"In your eyes, I see a brilliant future. It shines, like the stars," Noel said.

Su Ming’an was slightly stunned, softly asking, "Are these in my eyes?"

Noel nodded and pointed to the fiftieth painting.

"Some things will persist, even if destroyed time and again, they will always come back to life." Noel’s eyes bore a remarkable resemblance to Lin Yuzi’s.

He smiled faintly.

"Like your eyes, like Starfire, like love."