STORY 11 - HOW TO SAVE A SECT IN SIX SIMPLE STEPS (16)

To save time, I sent a request for all the Nascent Soul elders Noxious was treating to arrive at the bathhouse nearly simultaneously.

Vengeful Siren, and Golden Pride arrived first. I quickly gave them acupuncture to suit their individual problems and practically shoved them into the bath I prepared.

Wrathful Waterspout was the next elder who entered the massive partitioned bathing area. This was my first time meeting the angry-looking guy. He was a massive, muscular man with reddish-tan skin who could have passed for a body cultivator. A white cloth covered his forehead, and his robes were patterned with smiling, adorable crabs.

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According to the information Noxious left me, he had a patch of crustacean shell there that replaced his skin. The poor guy was so embarrassed by the pieces of crab-beast that armored various parts of his body that he spent almost all his time in closed-door cultivation. Our treatment was his only hope of returning to his normal appearance.

Vengeful Siren sat in the wooden tub behind a beautifully painted paper screen and called out as if he were addressing an old friend. “Brother Wrathful Waterspout, I was about to tell Temporary Elder Linlin here about the special item I picked up from the Chi Qi Tan merchant company.”

He turned toward where Siren soaked. “Are you sure you can trust this unknown brat?”

“This brat is about to give you your treatment.” I jabbed the first needle into his back, and he winced. He might be a Nascent Soul, but I could still cause him pain, even if I couldn’t actually hurt him. “Especially when I’m better at acupuncture than Poison Master Noxious Fangstrike.”

He grimaced. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I paused, holding the next needle just above his back.

How unexpected. Getting him to acknowledge his mistake was shockingly easy for someone of his realm. Maybe his crabbiness would be cured once his physical symptoms were manageable. Until then, I had a feeling he would earn the nickname, Mr. Crabby.

Of course, I was positive Noxious told this guy about my genius. As he should. I was too amazing to stay hidden for long.

The next needle I inserted didn’t make him wince. “I thought that Chi Qi Tan mostly sold spirit fruit. Can their defensive tools be any good?”

“Better than ours,” Mr. Crabby said.

Siren sighed. “Our sect has some smiths who produce zithers and beast training items, but defensive tools and weapons are not our sect’s main focus. If we want quality tools, we have to hire or buy from outside.”

“And get over-charged for it when they find out we’re part of the unorthodox faction,” the large man added gruffly.

“I didn’t get anything good,” Golden Pride said in the way people did in this universe when they definitely picked up something nice and wanted to brag. “Only a defensive tool that can take ten attacks from a Peak Nascent Soul expert.”

“That’s better than me,” Siren said. “I was out collecting ingredients to fix the life gate and could only pick something up quickly from them. I grabbed a Dancing Spirits Replenishing Pill.”

I blinked. “They had that life-saving pill for Nascent Souls? The one that can temporarily increase their cultivation by a half step and fully fill them up with energy?”

I finished stabbing Mr. Crabby in the back in places that would loosen up his blockages and gestured for him to hop into the wooden tub I prepared for him. He did so without a single splash.

“I’m not sure I’d call it life-saving, but it might help me in a dire situation. How did you hear about it?”

I walked over to Siren’s side of the massive room and held a hand out. “Let me take a look. You can’t trust pills from outside without having them tested.”

“A pill of this rank that’s designed for Nascent Soul cultivators is not something you’d be able to see every day. I doubt you would understand it even if you had heard of it before.”

I just stared at him with my palm out.

He cleared his throat. “But Brother Noxious Fangstrike seems to trust you.” He pulled a jade bottle from his ring and tossed it over to me, obviously not worried that a young Foundation Establishment cultivator could take it from him, and probably trusting his fellow elders here to keep their mouths shut.

I unstoppered the bottle, prepared to fight the medicine inside.

A golden-yellow pill rolled around at the bottom like a lethargic ball.

At its rank, the pill should have attempted to flee. It didn’t even float. That wasn’t right. I scanned it with my divine sense and frowned. “This is a low quality pill.” ᚱ₳ΝÖＢƐ𝐒

“Nonsense! The merchant had two, one of low quality and one of mid. He definitely sold me the mid-quality pill. It had the better color. Just look at that beautiful golden shine.”

I sighed and pulled the pill out to rest on my palm. After I took out my knife, I used a small amount of sword Qi to enhance the edge. With practiced movements, I scraped away the thinnest layer from the surface, revealing a shiny bronze. “They covered it in a hard-to-detect spiritual mica powder to fool you.”

Siren stared at me in open-mouthed horror.

“Not only would this be three-fourths as effective as a mid rank pill, the powder would cause your stomach to hurt for hours, though it’s not technically poisonous. But having a distracting stomachache in the middle of a life-and-death fight might be enough to kill you.”

I put it back inside the pill bottle and tossed it to him. He looked down at it with disgust. “So it’s worthless.”

I shrugged. “Just remove the powder and you can still use it.”

“Temporary Elder Linlin!” Golden Pride called. “Come, look at my defensive tool!”

A lion-shaped talisman flew over the screen, separating her from Siren, and landed in my hand.

I scanned it and frowned.

Holy fuck, I knew I was the best spiritual tool smith on this continent, but I had no idea things with this bad... or was this some kind of unscrupulous merchants’ trick again?

“It is a defensive tool in the shape of a lion talisman, but it can only take five attacks from a peak Nascent Soul, not ten. If you had trusted it to protect yourself after those, you’d die.”

With a flick of my wrist, I sent it back.

“That lying shit! If I ever see that merchant again, I’ll murder him. No, I’ll destroy his whole company and then nine generations of his family!”

“Hold on,” Wrathful Waterspout said. “Why are you so sure about this tool?”

“What? So you trust me when it comes to your medicinal bath but not anything else?”

“Hey, I can understand how a genius alchemist like you can see such an advanced pill’s flaws, but a defensive tool? Isn’t that far outside your purview?”

I clasped my hands behind my back and stood like the master I was. “There was a shallow flaw on the lion’s mane. It looks like it’s part of the design, but it digs into a necessary part of the enchantment. It will cause the energy of the tool to deplete faster than it should, making it half as effective.” I walked over to Mr. Crabby’s side. “If you still don’t believe me, go ahead and show me the tool you are most suspicious of. I am a genius toolsmith who created never-before-seen instruments from the rocking inheritance I discovered. Of course, I’d be able to see through the petty tricks of unscrupulous war profiteers.”

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He pulled out a curved dagger that looked similar to a crab claw. After hesitating for a second, he held it out to me. Instead of taking it from him, I scanned it with my divine sense.

“This is a very old and well-loved dagger.”

I flicked a few places on the blade, and it shivered. He jerked it away from me and cradled it to his chest as if it were his baby.

“What did you do?!”

“Pointed out the weak spots. The item’s spirit didn’t like that.” I grinned.

Mr. Crabby and the dagger shuddered.

At higher ranks, a spiritual treasure would start to generate an item spirit. With enough time or power, those spirits could develop actual sentience. Some might eventually become full-on powerhouses on par with the gold dragon from Little Spring’s space or Senior Auspicious Paifang, the defender of the Indomitable Will Sect.

The one thing the author of this damn Xianxia did right was include those amazing spirits in this fucked up universe. They were interesting to meet and always had a unique perspective. I often liked their company more than most human cultivators.

“That’s a fine dagger for its rank and is well on its way to developing a personality. It has a few notable flaws, but nothing too serious. I’d put it at the low end of high quality, but I think you know that. This was a test, right?”

He huffed, put the blade into his spatial ring, and brought out a jade crown. He tossed it to me before sending me a secret sound transmission. “It is supposed to block a killing blow from an Immortal Bone Creation expert. I had to sell many of my treasures and spend half of my fortune to purchase it.” He looked at the immortal rank, low quality crown with a bit of crazed desperation.

I’d seen that look before. If I even thought about stealing this item, this guy would murder me.

Frankly, if it did what he said it did, then it was an item a new Immortal Bone Creation expert might kill for.

“Did I get ripped off?”

I scanned the item with my divine sense. Once I saw it, I laughed.

“What?” Mr. Crabby leaned forward, his fingers digging into the spiritual wood of the bathtub, creating small dents. The room seemed to shudder with the amount of energy he gathered. “Did they fool me, too?”

I had a feeling that one wrong answer here might mean that my poor Foundation Establishment body would go splat against the wall.

I cleared my throat. “This is… the same treasure you thought it was. It does exactly what they said.”

His shoulders relaxed. The surrounding energy dissipated.

“However, look here.” I pointed to a portion of the jade where a type of spiritual gold had been inlaid into the crown. Part of it had been desperately scratched off on both sides as if making it part of the design. Mr. Crabby’s eyes grew wide. The room began to shake with his fury. Fortunately, his anger wasn’t directed at me.

“Someone attempted to sabotage it.”

The room stilled. “Attempted?”

“It will work perfectly. The gold they removed was just aesthetic and not needed for the enchantment. Whoever sabotaged this item wasn’t very familiar with spiritual tools of this rank… Or, they were planning on buying it cheap after convincing the merchant that they’d done their job. It is a treasure, after all.”

I handed him back the crown, and he took it almost reverently.

::Now I know who to step behind when an Immortal Bone Creation Expert enters the field of battle.::

He grinned. “Just remember to bring your own teleportation talisman since this only works once.”

Then he sobered. “It seems like we should double-check every item Chi Qi Tan sold us.”

I nodded. “Excellent idea. All war profiteers have their own agendas. Considering the amount of purposeful sabotage I’m seeing here, they’re not here just to turn a profit.”

While I couldn’t see them all, I had a feeling all three of the elders’ faces darkened just like Mr. Crabby’s did.

I threaded my fingers together. “Since I’ve helped you all, how about you return the favor while also helping the sect?”

“What do you need?” Mr. Crabby said while looking determined enough to walk through lava if he needed to.

“You see, there is this little problem. It sounds small and like a non-issue, but could ruin the sect if not handled right.”

His eyes widened. “Another thing?! Quick, what is it?”

“I explained this to others before, but...” I attempted to pull out the demonic dancer manual and the recording orb. Fuck! Why did I have to leave them in the space instead of my ring?! That damn dragon was still upgrading it!

Whatever. Not having proof didn’t mean I couldn’t tell them everything, so that was what I did. I explained how that dancing rat girl had her little fingers running throughout half the sect.

Mr. Crabby frowned. “What do you want us to do about it?”

“Find a way to prevent her from participating in the war. I don’t trust her. And I believe her presence could obstruct whatever strategy the elders and the junior sect leader are planning to use.”

“Give us some time and we’ll see what we can do,” Mr. Crabby said. “I also need to have our sect’s smiths check out every item that was sold by those unscrupulous bastards.”

Elder Golden Pride cleared her throat. “I’ll pull some strings as well.”

There! Perfect. Things were finally going my way. I was positive that these elders could—

“Hold on!” The lion-eared elder frowned. “You didn’t say that she’s being protected by Brother Flood Dragon’s White Scale.”

Apparently, she hadn’t paid much attention to our conversation with the fucker.

“That shouldn’t matter. Keeping her safe inside the sect while not participating in anything won’t harm her.” I strode over to her side of the room.

She looked at me apologetically. “This is unfortunate.”

“What? Why?”

“You see, I can’t go against him.”

“But he’s not even a Nascent Soul.”

She shrugged and kept her lips closed. The fuck. Did he have blackmail on her?

I frowned and paced over to Mr. Crabby’s tub.

He didn’t even look me in my eyes. “I also can’t help. I owe my junior brother.”

I marched over to Siren’s side.

He used his finger to stir the water. “You already know I can’t do anything.”

“But this request is different.”

“Even then.”

I walked to the middle of the room, shocked. Three powerful Nascent Soul elders couldn’t go against a peak Golden Core elder on this one thing?

“So, none of you can help?”

Siren lazily draped his arm over the lip of the wooden tub. Frankly, the guy looked like a damn merman. “He’s not a likable junior brother, but he knows how to create and wield karmic debt like someone from a distant branch of the infamous Ji Clan.”

I knew about those terrifying fuckers! The concept for them had been blatantly stolen from a famous and highly respected Xianxia author. I was pretty sure he even copied their clan name, barely getting away with it by using a different Ji.

Golden Pride yawned dramatically. “What Brother Vengeful Siren is saying is that we all owe him in one way or another. We can’t go against him or he will actively ruin our karma.”

And I basically made that scary, karma-wielding asshole my enemy.

Mr. Crabby turned his spatial ring around so the ruby was visible. “Now that you’ve created a treatment for our condition, each of us has a chance to join Senior Noxious Fangstrike… as long as karma doesn’t kill us during our tribulations.”

So, he was saying that I was too damn good at fixing them up? So incredible they had hope of reaching the next realm?! Goddamn it.

And all that karma I just sowed wasn’t even enough to counteract the bullshit that tied them to that White Scale punk. Fuck!

Why was it so hard to stop that meddling rat kid and her treasure-seeking mouse?! Did she have a van and three human friends stashed somewhere to get in my way again?

Would I have to worry about her removing my disguise and revealing my true identity next?

“…”

Nope. Not possible! Not even a Nascent Soul could see past my technique. But I was still at a loss.

Fine! If getting the rat girl out of the way couldn’t work, then I would have to come up with a different step three. Maybe even steps four and five. It had to be something that she couldn’t fuck with.

I walked past each elder and pulled out three bamboo straws.

A delicious viciousness spread through my spiteful heart as I smiled. “By the way, if you really want the bath to be effective, you need to fully submerge yourselves.”

Golden Pride laughed nervously. “Just because we can’t deal with this one problem doesn’t mean we won’t work with you on other important things in the future. You don’t have to torture our noses with your stinky treatment bath.”

I handed Vengeful Siren the first straw, and he grinned. “Unlike a certain trainer of feline beasts, I happen to like going underwater for prolonged periods.”

She huffed. “You also don’t have an enhanced sense of smell like I do!”

Siren winked at me and then dunked his head under the water. He did not use the straw I handed him. He also wasn’t using the turtle breathing technique. The guy must have gained a unique ability from his beast contract.

I attempted to give the next one to Golden Pride. She hissed at me.

I grinned. “If your ears and sense of smell don’t become controllable after this, I won’t call in the favor you owe me for pointing out the flaws in your treasure. But you have to keep your head fully underwater for the full bath or you’ll owe me double.”

She grumbled but submerged herself completely.

I went to check on Mr. Crabby, but the desperate guy had already followed my instructions.

Sure, it was petty, forcing these guys to do this, but it wasn’t unnecessary. Sometimes, the most satisfying petty revenge was making people do what was best for themselves. That was why I was such a huge fan of hell training. Muahahaha!