CHAPTER 653: IN THE NEXT LIFE

When Noir opened his eyes to a bustling train station, he felt a sense of disorientation as if he had just woken up from a long, long dream.

He remained in a trance for a couple of seconds, inviting curious glances from the passersby, before he snapped back to his senses and recalled that he had boarded the bus here. He was never particular in choosing a place, unlike a few others who were strangely superstitious and were adamant they had to pick a deserted place with a strong yang energy.

But now, he came to regret it for the first time.

Before he knew it, he had started running.

"Ah—"

"Ouch!"

"Damn it, watch where you’re going!"

He bumped into people left and right as he climbed the stairs two or three steps at a time, yet Noir never looked back to address them. His hand was cold and clammy as he searched through his pocket for his phone, stiffly dialing the number on top of his recent calls.

"The number you’re calling is busy..."

"The number you’re calling is busy..."

He tried again and again, yet the results remained the same. The call was never connected. As the dial tone rang in his ears, Noir never stopped running. He exited the train station in a breath’s time, rushing down the pedestrian street with his phone glued to his ear.

Summer would soon be upon them. People had already shed their coats and jackets in favor of lighter clothing, basking in the sun’s growing warmth. But despite all the running, Noir couldn’t even feel the heat of the sun beating down on him.

All he felt was an intense, boundless chill that crawled up from the source of his feet, threatening to drag cold sweat from his skin and freeze the breath in his lungs.

He first checked Gu Luoxin’s dorm room— empty.

Then he rushed to Gu Luoxin’s house— the gate was locked, and the neighbor who spotted him kindly told him that no one had returned for more than a week.

So where could Gu Luoxin be?

By then, more than half an hour had slipped by, and dusk had begun to set, dyeing the sky in a shade of golden so intense that it stung Noir’s eyes. He haphazardly brushed aside the hair covering his forehead, only to realize it was the sweat that had slid into his eyes and gave him a stinging sensation.

He looked around the bustling street, feeling oddly like the world had blurred at the edges and he could not make out the faces of the people around him—or maybe it was him who was unsteady on his feet. He found it getting increasingly difficult to breathe, as if something foreign was lodged in his throat, blocking his airway.

Where...? he asked aimlessly, his numb emerald eyes searching around. Where was he? Where could he be? Was he with his teammates?

That was... possible.

He should have thought of this sooner. It was all because he was too frantic that he forgot to check in with Nian, who was most likely with Gu Luoxin right now.

However, before he could switch to dial Shen Nianzu’s number, the call, which had been trying to reach Gu Luoxin all this time, suddenly connected with a click.

The timer began to tick. One second... two seconds...

And yet, there was only silence between them.

Noir felt his breathing grow heavy. "Where are you?" He was the first to break the silence, his tone urgent. "Where?!" he did not even care that his rising voice had attracted the eyes of the onlookers. Scratch that, Noir had lost all perceptions of the outside world, and his every sense was attuned to the slightest sound coming from the other end of the phone.

So long as Gu Luoxin gave his location, so long as Noir knew where he was, he would immediately spread his wings open and fly there—the consequences be damned.

The bones on Noir’s scapula began to protrude, about to burst through his clothes at any moment, when Gu Luoxin let out a small sigh, calling him in a delicate voice, "Senior..."

Noir’s breath caught.

The person whose body had grown cold and stiff in his arms, the person whose life he had ended with his own hands... was currently still alive. He was still alive. "Sorry, I just saw your calls," Gu Luoxin’s voice was surprisingly bright and cheerful, devoid of any trace of gloom or despair. "I just spoke with my uncle on the phone, you see—"

"Where are you?" Noir asked again in a suppressed voice.

"—Isn’t it kind of nice? I could bid one last farewell to the people I—"

"GU LUOXIN!" Noir practically shouted in... in what? He didn’t know; he did not know how to describe what he was feeling. Mere words were nowhere near enough to encapsulate the maelstrom wrecking inside him right now. He only knew that he wanted to find the other person, wanted to see him with his own eyes—right now, right this very second. "Tell me, okay? Just tell me. I will go to you—"

"It’s okay, Senior."

This time, it was Gu Luoxin who cut him off, rendering him utterly speechless.

What did he mean by ’okay’? How could he be okay?! He was such a scaredy-cat and crybaby, easily spooked by even the smallest things. Who knew how terrified, how much despair he must be feeling right now as he had to confront his own death—for the second time?

"It’s okay," Gu Luoxin repeated once more, as if hearing his unspoken doubt. "You... you don’t need to come to me anymore. There’s nothing we can change. I’ve already died back there..." a wistful sigh, as soft as a breeze, escaped his lips, as if he had nothing left but resignation. As if he was ready to accept the worst possible outcome there was.

Noir felt like he was going to be sick.

Why...?

Why was the Nightmare so cruel? Why did it have to drag the dead back to the real world, giving them a fresh taste of life, only to rip it all away once more? Why did it have to be so cruel to this fragile and delicate person?

"There’s something I haven’t had the chance to say," Gu Luoxin spoke again, keeping a cheerful and light-hearted tone until the end. It’s almost like they were just conversing about the weather, or the dinner they were going to have together next time, rather than one last farewell before death separated them. "Please live well, Senior. Thank you so much for fulfilling my selfish request. I really hope you won’t feel guilty because of it. Also, my kingkong and Toki are very cute and well-behaved, they must be able to get along easily with you and Lucius. And then, um..." his voice suddenly wavered, causing him to clear his throat lightly.

"And?" Noir found himself getting along, hanging onto each word the young man said. As if he wanted to draw out more, as if he could keep hearing this voice until the end of time.

"And uh, I want to ask..." a slightly nasal laugh slipped out of Gu Luoxin. "Do you like flowers?"

That random question caught Noir off guard, and he took a second to think, "...I don’t know, haven’t paid much attention to them before. Why?"

"Haha, thought so. I just..." he muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, but a truck just happened to roar past in front of Noir, causing him to miss the rest of the words.

"What did you just say?" he asked, yet no answer came from the other side.

A pregnant pause before Gu Luoxin asked yet another question, "Senior, if... I’m saying if. If there’s a next life, do you think we will meet again?" his tone was soft, hesitant, but filled with unconcealed hope.

It was such a silly question typical of Gu Luoxin. Noir himself was not one to believe in next lives and reincarnation, but...

"Mn," his throat bobbed as he swallowed past the lump rising in it. "I will. Find you," his words came out in halting breaths as his voice began to fail him. "If there’s a next life."

His answer successfully made Gu Luoxin burst out in laughter—bright and unguarded. "Haha, you really will? That makes me so happy, Senior!" His soft giggles spilled through the phone, stabbing right into Noir’s eardrums, drowning all the other voices. It was such a sweet and delightful torture. "Then that’s settled! The next time we meet, I will definitely give you flowers!"

Why? He wanted to ask. Why are you so intent on giving me flowers? But the question failed to make it past Noir’s lips. This moment felt precious, far too precious to be shattered by his voice. Besides, he had no idea whether he still had it in him to speak.

Without his response, Gu Luoxin’s voice slowly faded into silence.

And then Noir heard it—

Amidst the loud screech of tires and rising screams, a faint suppressed sob, sounding as if the young man was desperately covering his mouth, wanting it not to be heard. "... I’m scared..." his voice was tiny, oh so tiny and fragile, yet it still impaled Noir’s gut like a poisonous arrow. "I’m so scared, Seni—"

BAM!

The sound of something heavy colliding was transmitted over the phone before the call was abruptly disconnected with a long beep. Noir’s expression was almost in a trance as he kept the phone beside his ear, which was ringing faintly with the last words Gu Luoxin had uttered.

Was this it?

Was this really... the end?

Slowly, oh so slowly, Noir lowered his arm, the phone now hanging limply in his grasp.

Summer would soon be upon them. The sun was pleasantly warm, and the cheery blossom trees had begun shedding their petals, blanketing the road in their pinkish hue. The street around him remained bustling with life; some walking their dogs, some chatting and laughing with their group, some talking on the phone, and yet...

And yet, in Noir’s world, silence was all left behind.

.

Song recommendation: Silent Times - Michael Learns to Rock