CHAPTER 654: I’M SORRY

Shen Nianzu opened his heavy eyelids to the slightly familiar white ceiling, and the thick scent of disinfectant rushing to his nostrils further confirmed that he had, once again, been rushed into the hospital after returning to the real world.

Night had fallen, and faint twinkling stars could be seen in the clear sky outside the window. The bedding beneath him was exceedingly soft compared to the hard rocks pressing against his back during the last moment before everything turned dark.

Everything felt almost like a dream... so much that it left him in a slight trance.

Until the bedside lamp turned on with a snap, revealing a familiar figure that had kept watch by his side.

"Young Master..."

It was none other than Qing Mo, his personal assistant.

Unlike his usual self, he did not immediately launch into a tirade, nagging Shen Nianzu for failing to take care of his health and lamenting how his lifespan would be forcibly cut short by a few years every time Shen Nianzu got into an accident. Instead, he was surprisingly patient and accommodating, asking whether Shen Nianzu was uncomfortable anywhere and helping him take a few sips of water through a straw.

"It’s been three days since you collapsed," he began recounting before Shen Nianzu could ask. "Mr. Jin has woken up slightly earlier than you and his test results came out unexpectedly good," better than you, to say the least, was what he did not say but Shen Nianzu could hear regardless.

"While Mr. Gu..." a trace of hesitation colored his tone as he spoke, sneaking glances at the pale, fragile figure lying on the bed. "There has been an accident."

Shen Nianzu’s eyes shifted toward him in a slow and sluggish manner.

Biting the tip of his tongue, Qing Mo forced himself to deliver the bad news. "A sleepy driver was speeding down the road, breaching the red light traffic and... hitting him." He omitted the tragic state of Gu Luoxin’s body afterwards where his limbs were crushed to pieces and separated from his body, and simply stared, "He... he died on the spot. The funeral will be held soon."

Silence—there was only silence in the room after Qing Mo finished his report, so heavy as if even the faintest sound of breathing had ceased to be heard.

After what seemed like half an eternity, Shen Nianzu spoke softly, "Leave."

Qing Mo was startled. "Young Master—"

But Shen Nianzu cut him off, repeating once more, "Leave."

There was no visible shift of emotions on his face at the devastating news, nor did his voice raise even a bit. In fact, he had remained expressionless from the very start to the end—calm, even—and yet Qing Mo felt his heart growing heavy and his throat tightened for reasons he could not comprehend.

Despite wishing to stay, he had no choice but to comply, sighing helplessly. "Alright," he conceded with a slight bow. "If you need anything, please give me a call, Young Master. Your phone is in the drawer, fully charged."

Stillness returned to the room after Qing Mo left.

Inside the dark room illuminated by the soft light from the bedside lamp, Shen Nianzu remained motionless for a long, long time, simply staring up at the ceiling with hollow, unblinking eyes. Until at one point at a time, he slowly shifted to turn his back on the light, curling into himself, his face buried deep into the pillow.

His shoulders shook with silent sobs.

"... I’m sorry..." a faint, anguished cry tore out of his lips, the sound muffled by the pillow—like whispering a secret confession that was not worthy to be heard by God.

"I’m sorry, Xinxin... I’m so sorry..."

***

On the rooftop.

Jin Jiuchi sat on the edge outside the metal railing, his legs swinging freely in the empty air. Had anyone seen him right now, they would have panicked, thinking that he was going to jump down from there. But fortunately, it was late into the night at the moment, leaving the whole area deserted.

"Twinkle twinkle little star—oh!" His eyes rounded in a mixture of surprise and wonder when a streak of silver crossed right in front of him, so fleeting that he would have missed it had he not been staring at the night sky all this while. "That is, uh... what’s the name again? Meter? Metera? Metero? Right, it’s a meteor shower!" He smacked his palm in realization.

"Is it already time for this? I have to tell Xinxin—" he rummaged through his pocket for the phone, about to snap a picture to send to Gu Luoxin, only to pause when he recalled something. "Oh right, Xinxin is..."

His broad back slumped as he opened the chatting interface. There sat a message Gu Luoxin had sent to him two days ago, when he had yet to regain consciousness after resisting the power of death with his own body.

[Remember to watch the meteor shower later, and burn some pictures on my grave! ;D]

Jin Jiuchi stared at that message quietly, the night breeze fluttering his hair.

"...Can you see them even if I burn them for you? Idiot." He let out a small harrumph in protest. But now, no longer would there be someone to snap back at him grumpily, ’Who are you calling an idiot, you dumb dog?!’

Jin Jiuchi subconsciously rubbed his ears.

Was Xinxin... truly gone? For real?

He couldn’t help but feel like there must be a mistake here. How could that person be gone, when Jin Jiuchi could still hear his voice echoing so loud and clear inside his mind? It almost felt like the young man was going to appear in front of them again bright and early tomorrow with a silly grin on his face, as if nothing had happened.

Taking a deep breath, Jin Jiuchi tilted his head back and sang again, louder this time, "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR—"

But maybe the night was too cold, or maybe his body had not fully recovered yet... his nose began to turn sour, and he couldn’t help but sniffle once in a while.