CHAPTER 676: WE CAN

It’s funny how much loss and grief could change you, Shen Nianzu found himself thinking sometimes.

After becoming an Elite player and spending years in a hellish place like the Nightmare Cycle, one would assume he had adapted so much to death that he had become numb to it. After all, he could watch with indifference as newbies lost their minds and sent themselves straight to death; he could still remain unfazed as he witnessed powerful players perish due to their own greed and arrogance. He had seen so many tragic deaths, even he himself thought he had become immune to them.

But oh boy, how wrong he was.

The only reason why he could maintain this lofty nonchalance was because all those players had nothing to do with him. But change that to his own people...

Only then did Shen Nianzu realize how weak and ignorant he was.

He had never—and could never adapt to death.

Following Gu Luoxin’s passing, he locked himself in his room, shutting out anyone and everyone—be it his parents, Qing Mo his assistant and even... Jin Jiuchi. He could not bring himself to face them the way he was now. The Shen Nianzu they knew had always been cool-headed, confident and domineering, and yet Gu Luoxin’s death had hit him so hard that he spiraled into a frenzy of madness, self-blame, hatred and remorse. What little pride and sanity he had left was preventing him from showing up in front of others, especially his parents and Qing Mo, as the mere notion that he had to come up with a decent excuse to explain his abrupt collapse was just too exhausting.

He couldn’t even pretend that everything was fine, that nothing was wrong with him.

Surprisingly, it was Jin Jiuchi who stepped up to block the door when Madam and Master Shen discussed whether they should forcibly break in.

"Give Nian’er some time," he asserted. "He’s fine. He will

be fine. After all, I am here with him."

"..."

The couple exchanged a glance, uncertain.

To be completely honest, their feelings toward Jin Jiuchi were extremely complicated. At first, they had even assumed he was a gigolo who had latched onto their son for his wealth and beauty. Of course, Shen Nianzu had promptly denied that assumption, but still, it was difficult to have a good impression on this wild man who had appeared out of nowhere and occupied the most intimate position by their son’s side.

Yet at this moment, when they looked into Jin Jiuchi’s firm and earnest eyes, their hearts couldn’t help but waver a little.

"Is he... is he really okay?" Madam Shen asked, her voice shaky and hoarse from crying.

In response, Jin Jiuchi merely curled his lips. "Didn’t they say parents know their child best? Nian’er is so strong, he can definitely recover from this." He repeated once more, "You just need to give him a little time."

Eventually, Jin Jiuchi managed to persuade the couple away. Toward Assistant Qing who insisted on staying, however, he was not as courteous. "You are not needed here," Jin Jiuchi shooed him away bluntly. "Nian’er wouldn’t want to see you either."

What makes you think he wants to see you, then?! We are all the same here! Qing Mo clutched his chest and silently swallowed back a mouthful of blood. "...What exactly is going on?" he gritted out, determined to find out the answers. "How did Young Master become like this all of a sudden? You must have known. Right, Mr. Jin?"

Jin Jiuchi nodded honestly, "En, I know, but I can’t tell you."

"You—" Qing Mo couldn’t believe the sheer audacity of this man, hiding the young master’s condition from his life assistant! But when he snapped his head up to glare at Jin Jiuchi, all he was met with was a pair of dark and still mismatched eyes, like two pools of stagnant water.

The sight sent a jolt to Qing Mo’s heart.

Has this man’s eyes always been like this...? He couldn’t help but wonder.

But much to his dismay, he found that he couldn’t seem to recall much about Jin Jiuchi’s previous appearance anymore. He only intuitively sensed that something was different with him now, though he could not put his finger on what.

Assistant Qing, who had fallen into self-doubt, was also sent away in this manner.

In the end, only Jin Jiuchi and Shen Nianzu remained in the luxurious villa.

Jin Jiuchi immediately plopped down in front of the closed door, like a big doggy waiting for his owner. "Nian’er, Nian’er," he tapped on the door with his fingers, creating an almost playful rhythm. "I sent them all away. Tell me, did I do a good job?"

There was no response from within, yet from the sound of Shen Nianzu’s breathing, Jin Jiuchi could tell that the jade doll was awake. In fact, he had not slept much in recent days.

Not at all deterred by the lack of response, Jin Jiuchi continued tapping on the door. "Hmm, it’s alright if you don’t want to speak. Then you can just listen to me, okay? How about I sing for you?"

In the next second, he opened his mouth and sang aloud, filling every inch of the silent and gloomy space.

Jin Jiuchi’s voice actually had a pleasant timbre—slightly low, baritone, carrying an almost imperceptible huskiness—and yet the songs he sang were all children’s songs, courtesy to Shen Nianzu who had only put on cartoons for him before. This caused the scene to become all the more comical and ridiculous, so much so that the depressed Shen Nianzu couldn’t help but burst out into an expletive, "...damn it!"

His voice was thick and nasal, heavily muffled as if he had his face buried in the pillow.

Jin Jiuchi would have missed it altogether if not for his keen hearing and the fact that all his senses were currently attuned to every movement beyond the door. Hearing the curse, his smile only grew wider and he sang all the more confidently, almost hollering on top of his lungs.

There was a bam! Shen Nianzu had thrown his pillow at the door, growling, "You... shut the hell up or...!"

Jin Jiuchi didn’t stop. He didn’t stop when Shen Nianzu’s voice abruptly faltered into a choked sob, his breathing growing ragged. He didn’t stop either when Shen Nianzu burst into tears, his cries low and restrained, like an injured little animal trying to lick its wound on its own.

He just sat in front of the door and kept singing...

...using his own special way to comfort his grief-stricken jade doll.

The sun eventually set into the horizon, and night gently embraced the earth. It was unknown how much time passed—until the door quietly clicked open.

That little sound was far too abrupt amidst the still silence, startling the dozing Jin Jiuchi back to awareness.

He jerked his head up, beaming. "Nian’er...!" At this point, his voice had become unbearably hoarse from excessive singing, and yet he still had not moved from his original spot, even if it’s just to take a sip of water.

Standing on the doorway, Shen Nianzu was clad only in a thin sleeping gown, his long silver hair disheveled, face haggard, eyes bloodshot and swollen from crying. He looked as pale as a ghost, making Jin Jiuchi’s heart ache for him. "Nian’er..."

Shen Nianzu’s colorless lips slowly parted, and the first sentence that came out of that mouth was a raspy, "I want to kill the Nightmare."

That one declaration seemed to stir all the emotions he had painstakingly tried to suppress, churning them into a total mess. His thin shoulders abruptly shook as he bit down hard on his lip, trying to swallow the cry that threatened to leak out of his throat.

At the sight of tears filling those beautiful purple eyes once more, Jin Jiuchi quickly leapt to his feet and took the silver-haired man into his arms, hugging him so tightly as if he wished he could merge their bodies into one. Shen Nianzu, in response, leaned readily into the embrace as he gasped for breath, his warm tears soaking into the fabric of Jin Jiuchi’s shirt. And yet he still forced himself to speak with a choked voice, "I want to... to..."

"Okay, Nian’er," Jin Jiuchi murmured, his fingers slipping into the cool tresses of Shen Nianzu’s silver hair, pressing a comforting kiss to his temple.

"I want to... avenge... avenge Xinxin..."

"Okay."

"...make it pay... a hundred, a thousand folds..."

"Mn," Jin Jiuchi nuzzled closer and took a deep inhale of his favorite jade doll’s scent.

"... and that bastard Shang too...!"

"Sure," Jin Jiuchi replied readily.

Shen Nianzu breathed violently, and it took him a while to calm down. All the while, Jin Jiuchi simply held him close.

"I want to end everything... this time, once and for all." He lifted his head from Jin Jiuchi’s chest and searched the man’s eyes, his gaze oh so fragile it was heartbreaking. "Do you... do you think we can do it? Kill the Nightmare?" his trembling lips asked, full of doubt and uncertainty.

Had it been the usual Shen Nianzu, he wouldn’t have asked such a question. He would have simply searched for a solution and approached everything with a methodical manner, using his brilliant mind to form multiple plans and thorough calculations. Even if he did harbor some doubts, Jin Jiuchi was the last person he would ever confide in. Of course, part of it was because Jin Jiuchi was unreliable more often than not— but the main reason was that Shen Nianzu himself was just too capable.

And Jin Jiuchi loved to see his Nian’er like that—proud, confident, haughty, shining far more radiantly than anyone else.

Alas, such a Shen Nianzu was not present tonight.

Gu Luoxin’s death had dealt him a blow too heavy, his spirit and tenacity was practically in tatters.

But it just so happened that tonight’s Jin Jiuchi was not his usual unreliable self either. He lowered his gaze, his long fingers brushing across the silver-haired man’s wet cheeks in a manner so soft and tender as if he was afraid the slightest force would shatter his vulnerable jade doll to pieces.

"We can," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, a faint smile playing on the corners of his lips. And yet his eyes were not smiling at all. "I’ve said it before, Nian’er—you only need to give me a word and I’ll gladly be your weapon, your shield, whatever you want me to be..." with each word he uttered, he pressed his lips to Shen Nianzu’s forehead, cheeks, the tip of his nose and finally his lips, biting down gently on the soft flesh.

An almost sinister glint passed through his heterochromatic eyes. "So let’s do it, Nian’er. Let’s end the Nightmare... together."