CHAPTER 21: THE BURRITO AND THE MELTING ROCK

[Leif’s POV — Hot Spring—Thorenvald Estate—Evening]

There are things in life you expect—like winter snow, frostbite, and royals being shameless. And then there are things you don’t expect—like being dragged into empire-shaking conspiracies when all you wanted was a beer and a nap.

"Siiiiiigh... Life is trouble. Trouble is me," I muttered dramatically, sinking deeper into the steaming hot spring like some tragic philosopher.

My crimson babies were paddling around me, happy little splashes echoing as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Honestly? Same. I was this close to finding inner peace.

And then—

"MY LORD!" Nick’s voice split the mountain air like divine revelation. He came rushing in with the urgency of someone announcing war... only to gasp, clutch his chest, and declare, "Would you like some strawberry cake?"

...Cake.

Instant sparkle. Instant serotonin. Instant resurrection from my existential grave. My crimson babies—loyal, beautiful creatures that they were—sparkled with me.

Nick, the sneaky bastard, slowly pulled out a basket the size of a grown man, reached inside with the precision of a magician, and—

"TA–DAAA!!"

Out came a massive strawberry cake, hoisted dramatically toward the heavens like it was the holy sword of my destiny. Cue sparkles. Cue heavenly choir. Cue the strawberries shimmering like tiny rubies of joy.

I gasped. I did not even hesitate. With the shamelessness of a starving cat, I stood up from the water—yes, naked, yes, dangling my ahem, don’t ask questions—and pounced. Snatched the cake right from Nick’s hands and plopped back into the hot water with a splash.

The crimson babies cheered. Or maybe that was just me.

"WOW!" I moaned with joy, shoving strawberries into my mouth like a man reborn. "Our chefs... our glorious chefs... they actually put real strawberries in here. Not like that bakery near my apartment where you get ninety percent cream and ten percent strawberry. SCAM! FRAUD! CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!"

Nick blinked. Tilted his head. "...Apartment?"

My cheeks were stuffed like a squirrel’s. "...Nothing. Don’t mind me, Nick...Speaking absurdly is my nature."

Nick nodded, saying, "I agree."

And so, with zero shame, I dragged the cake onto the water like some feral dragon hoarding treasure, my pups splashing happily, and Nick smiling.

Luxury, thy name is strawberry cake.

After the glorious massacre of said cake, we all just... floated. Like kings in a divine swimming pool carved by the gods themselves. Steam curled around us, the stars peeked out, and for a blissful moment, I mumbled, "Ah, this is it. The peak of existence."

Plop.

My crimson baby dove into the water, tail wagging, and resurfaced with a wet rock clenched proudly in his tiny mouth. He paddled up to me and nudged my arm.

"...Rock. Again?" I deadpanned.

He sparkled. Literally sparkled. Like he’d just delivered the crown jewels of the empire.

I rubbed my temples. "You... you’ve got a real obsession with rocks, don’t you?"

He wagged harder. Eyes shining. Waiting for me to accept his sacred offering.

I sighed the sigh of ten lifetimes, patted his head, and muttered, "Is this your gift again? Another... priceless treasure for your beloved master?"

Sparkle intensifies.

I caved instantly. Of course. What kind of monster rejects sparkles? "...Fine. Alright. I’ll keep it. A rock, from my baby, is worth more than a dragon’s hoard."

He sparkled so hard I half expected him to explode into fireworks.

"Sigh... I guess I have no choice," I muttered, tucking the soggy stone into my robe like it was an imperial jewel.

"My lord, it’s time to go," Nick’s voice broke the moment. "The moon is about to rise."

"Already?" I groaned, dragging myself out of the water. "Come on, babies. Out you go."

They obeyed like little soldiers, scrambling out of the spring... only to shake themselves dry like wolves straight from hell.

SHA-SHA-SHA-SHA!

I stood there. Drenched. Again. Water dripping off me like some tragic fountain statue. Nick blinked. Sighed. And, without missing a beat, he pulled another robe from behind his back like a magician.

"I brought an extra one, my lord."

I blinked at him, touched beyond reason. "Nick... you’re my angel."

He just smirked knowingly. "I knew this would happen."

I squinted at him suspiciously. "...Did you train them to do this?"

Nick’s smirk widened. "Who knows, my lord?"

I chuckled. My crimson babies wagged their tails. The rock sparkled in my robe.

***

[Inside the ThorenVald Estate—Later]

As we walked inside, Alvar stepped down from the stairs, his voice smooth but carrying that unarguable weight.

"Leif. The contract parchment is ready. The sooner you sign... the sooner the villagers can begin using the greenhouse."

"Ohhh, then I shall sign right away!" I declared, striding after him like a responsible adult—bathrobe fluttering dramatically behind me.

We entered the office, where Crown Prince Arden was already waiting. He looked up, his gaze sliding lazily over me. Then—oh gods—his lips curled into a smirk.

"You... sure have a beautiful chest, Leif."

. . .

. . .

Excuse me?!

Before I could even retort, Alvar was already moving. Like a hawk swooping in, he yanked my robe shut and tied it so tight I nearly choked.

"Your Highness," he said, voice colder than the Northern winds, "if you are done signing the parchment, please leave. Butler will inform you when dinner is ready."

The glare he sent Arden could have set kingdoms on fire. Arden was shocked by that intensified glare.

Then—he turned that same glare on me. "Why," he asked flatly, "are you wearing a single bathrobe?"

I blinked. Offended. Deeply. "Excuse me! I just came from enjoying a hot spring. Forgive me for prioritizing your oh-so-urgent contract over my wardrobe."

His jaw tightened. A quiet sigh escaped. "It was my fault," he muttered. Then—before I could blink—he swept off his heavy wool cloak and wrapped it around me. Completely. Like I was being packaged for delivery.

Suddenly, I was a burrito.A noble burrito.

"Wait—WAIT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SIGN LIKE THIS?!" I flailed.

Without missing a beat, he tugged one arm free from the cloak and pressed the quill into my hand."This is enough."

"ENOUGH?! How do you expect me to write a magnificent signature when I look like a sausage roll?!"

"Your signature has never been magnificent."

"EXCUSE ME—?!"

From across the desk, Crown Prince Arden tilted his head, watching us with growing amusement. His smirk sharpened.

"... How amusing. The Grand Duke, protecting Lord Leif like... some jealous husband. I never saw such intense care between two men."

The air froze.

I gawked. Alvar’s hand on my shoulder tightened, and his glare on the Crown Prince sharpened into something downright lethal.

"Jealous... husband?!" I squeaked.

"Correct," Arden said smoothly, leaning back in his chair like he’d just tossed a bomb and was waiting for the explosion.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!" I sputtered, clutching the cloak tighter. "Please don’t say dangerous things out loud!"

Alvar exhaled slowly—one of those deep, heavy sighs that sounded far too calm, which made it even more terrifying. His eyes never left Arden as he said, voice like sharpened steel,"Your Highness... if you are finished here... then please. Get. Out."

Arden blinked once, then chuckled under his breath. "Heh. Fierce. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you were guarding your... beloved lover, Grand Duke."

Arden smirked. Alvar’s glare deepened. The parchment lay on the table, patiently waiting for my trapped burrito hand to scribble its mark.

And me? I was stuck between an imperial tease and a dangerously over-dramatic Duke.

...FUCK MY LIFE.

***

[Leif’s Chamber—Later]

As I reached back to my chamber—our

chamber, since apparently Alvar had decided it was his too—I slammed the door behind us and spun around to glare at him.

"Now..." I hissed, still bundled like a hostage in wool, "can I turn back into a normal human, or do you plan to keep me as your personal burrito forever?"

Alvar raised one calm eyebrow and, without missing a beat, started unwrapping the cloak like he was opening a very irritated present. "Raise your head."

I did—grudgingly—and he tugged the fabric loose, muttering, "Why would you wander around half-naked in thin clothes like that?"

"I was not naked. I was wearing a bathrobe—"

He cut me off flatly, "Which is the same thing, Leif. You were still naked underneath."

"GOSH!" I groaned, throwing my hands up. "Do you hear yourself? You sound like my dad lecturing me after catching me sneaking cookies at midnight."

The cloak slid off, and WHOOSH~~ The icy air wrapped around me like death’s cold embrace. I shivered violently.

Alvar, completely unbothered, handed me my pajamas. "Change. Fast. Before you turn into some ice sculpture, I’ll have to explain to the villagers."

Tch. Rude.

I scuttled over to the fire hearth, hugging the pajamas to my chest. But as I untied the bathrobe, I felt it. His stare. That intense, glacier-eyed stare boring into my back.

I whipped around. "STOP LOOKING AT ME, WILL YOU?! I’m changing!"

He scoffed. Actually scoffed. "As if I haven’t seen anything before."

My jaw dropped. "EXCUSE ME?!"

He tilted his head, smirking just slightly. "You were parading around practically naked in front of the Crown Prince. But I can’t look? Hypocrite."

"JUST—JUST CLOSE YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!" I yelled, my face hotter than the fireplace.

Alvar—finally—closed his eyes, sighing like he was being tortured by my existence.

Muttering under my breath, I tugged at the robe. "Gosh... can’t believe Mr. Frosty can be shameless and bossy. What’s next? Gonna lecture me about proper sock etiquette—"

PLOP!

I froze.

Something heavy slipped from the fold of my robe and landed right in the fire.

The rock. My crimson babies’ stupid little "treasure gift."

I blinked. Stared. Blinked again. For one glorious second I considered leaving it there—burn, pebble, burn!—and just changing my clothes.

So I did. I shrugged, muttered, "Good riddance," and wriggled into my pajamas.

But then—

The fire shifted. Flickered strange. As I glanced I saw the rock wasn’t burning. It was... melting.

"Huh?" My voice cracked like a bad flute note.

And then—

SHIIIIIINE!!!

Light burst out, blinding, brilliant, swallowing the entire hearth in a glow that made even the shadows flee.

I stumbled back, shielding my eyes. "What the hell?!"

The chamber filled with that glow, the kind that screamed plot device incoming.