Chapter 81: A Grand Flirtation Scene, Jiang Zhou’s Tutorial!

A gentle west wind stirred the soft reeds along the lakeshore.

Jiang Zhou walked in front, Chu Yuwei followed behind.

The two of them circled the lake and stopped at a stone pavilion.

Not far away, a white stone stele stood on the shore.

On it were engraved the words: “There is wood on the mountain, but no branches; I like you, but you don’t know.”

Jiang Zhou muttered, “So it’s not ‘Xinyue Lake,’ but ‘Xinyue Lake’ as in the phrase ‘I like you.’”

Chu Yuwei looked up. “What did you say?”

Jiang Zhou lit a cigarette. “Yuwei, we’re actually still very young.”

“Young…?” Chu Yuwei glanced down at her chest. “I think… it’s okay?”

Jiang Zhou nearly choked. “Every time I try to be serious, you pull me back into the gutter!”

“Well, you’re the one always calling me young! I’ve developed a reflex by now!”

“Be serious! If I go off track, I won’t find my way back!”

“Then go off track! I’m not afraid! Pull me off track with you!”

Suppressing his increasingly derailed thoughts, Jiang Zhou tried to refocus. “Let’s get to the point. Why did you bring me here?”

Chu Yuwei looked up at him. “I was really willful before, wasn’t I?”

“You’re the campus belle. Everyone liked you. In that environment, it’s hard not to be willful.”

“Exactly, everyone liked me. So why didn’t you?”

Jiang Zhou flicked his ash. “I confessed to you. What more did you want?”

“You said it was fake! That you’d confessed to lots of people!”

“But none of them accepted! You were the last, the grand finale!”

“…Really?”

“Of course. Aren’t you happy to be the finale?”

“Being the finale means I’m important, right? Then… yeah, I’m happy.”

Jiang Zhou sighed. “Should I call you naive or just optimistic?”

Chu Yuwei blinked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Our high school was tiny. If I’d confessed to someone else, you’d have heard about it instantly.”

“Then why did you lie and say you liked other people? And that you didn’t like me?”

Jiang Zhou exhaled smoke. “My first love ended in disappointment. After that, all I could do was try to pick up the pride I had once thrown away.”

Chu Yuwei looked at him with some guilt. “So I was the only one you ever confessed to?”

“Don’t misunderstand. That was just youthful stupidity, I must’ve been blind.”

“…Sorry. I must’ve really hurt you.”

“No, because of that experience, I became a better man ready to meet someone even more worthy.”

Chu Yuwei pouted. “Can’t you confess again?”

Jiang Zhou’s eyes widened. “You want me to confess? What gave you that courage. Fish Leong’s lyrics? I’m a sea king now!”

“What’s a sea king…?”

“It means wherever I look, every girl in sight is mine!” Jiang Zhou declared proudly, only to catch sight of the cafeteria auntie taking out the trash.

…Nope. That one goes into Xu Haodong’s fish pond.

Chu Yuwei looked down. “So when will your gaze land on me?”

“Your aura is too dazzling. I’d go blind just looking.”

“Well, I don’t care anymore. I’m confessing to you!”

Jiang Zhou took a step back, feigning horror. “You want to be the woman who tames the sea king?!”

Clutching her shirt hem, Chu Yuwei muttered, “I just… don’t want to regret this.”

“Never try to tame a sea king!”

“Ugh, Jiang Zhou, I hate you!”

Angrily, Chu Yuwei turned to leave. She had finally summoned the courage to chase him, giving up her pride and her promises to her parents, only to be rejected again.

“Stop right there!”

Chu Yuwei paused. “What?”

Jiang Zhou stood up slowly. “No sea king would let a beautiful lady walk home alone.”

“At best, you’re just a wannabe sea king!”

“Now you’re insulting me?!”

Chu Yuwei huffed. “Your belt is still in my bed. I’ll go get it.”

Jiang Zhou smacked his lips. “Saying it like that makes it sound like something happened between us.”

“Fine. The belt you gave me is in my dorm. I’ll go fetch it. Happy?”

“Since you insist, I won’t be polite. But if I wear your belt to flirt with other girls, is that okay?”

“As long as you don’t take it off while flirting, it’s fine.”

The two kept chatting and walking, until the sun dipped below the horizon. The fading rays stretched their shadows long, signaling the arrival of night.

Near the girls’ dormitory, Chu Yuwei suddenly stopped.

“Dad, I won’t be willful anymore.”

Jiang Zhou’s heart jumped. “Where’s this sudden sweetness coming from?”

“I won’t be proud. Just… don’t leave me behind.”

“You’re so annoying, always whining. I’ll see how you behave.”

“I’ll be good… I promise…”

—

By the time they reached the dorms, night had fully fallen, and the courtyard lights flicked on. A pair of students locked in a passionate embrace, making “tsk tsk tsk” sounds, shuffled their feet awkwardly.

Jiang Zhou lit a cigarette and leaned against the flowerbed outside, quietly waiting for his belt.

But suddenly, a familiar figure approached.

The man wore a black-grey trench coat, was slightly chubby, had slicked-back hair, and even had red nail polish on his right hand.

He stood under a dorm window, full of bravado.

“Li Yifei! You said you mistook me for someone else, I don’t blame you!

“But I think you’re pretty, and I’ve caught feelings. So I’ll give you a chance!

“Try falling for me. I’ll give you three days. Don’t be ungrateful and ruin your future!”

Jiang Zhou nearly coughed up blood.

Xu Haodong?!

Isn’t this guy supposed to have reconciled with his right hand?

Why the hell is he here at Qingbei again?

And what was with that ultra-cringe declaration?

Was that what he’d taken away from our late-night talks?

Jiang Zhou had told his dormmates one thing: don’t be a simp, don’t be a third party.

Yet Brother Haodong had clearly failed to evolve.

He wasn’t a simp anymore. H had become something worse: an obnoxious, delusional narcissist.

What girl could tolerate this kind of confession?

And just then, another guy stood beside Xu Haodong.

He wore a shiny silver suit with black trim and held a bouquet of overly dramatic blue roses.

Once Xu Haodong finished yelling, this guy stepped up to the window.

“Chu Yuwei, I like you!

“I’ve added you on QQ for 28 days and sent you good morning and good night messages every day!

“Why haven’t you ever replied?!

“I’ve never liked anyone this much! Please, just give me a chance!

“I won’t accept a rejection over the internet. Can you come down and talk to me in person?!”

Listening to his fellow love-struck brother, Xu Haodong scoffed. “Bro, that’s not how you chase a girl, okay?”

The silver-suited guy glared back. “None of your business!”

“Our dorm’s love guru already taught us to never be this humble. If you lower yourself too much, girls will look down on you too.”

“That’s bullshit! Without sincerity, how can you move them?”

Xu Haodong smirked. “Oh really? You’ve been sincere every day. Did it work?”

“…No. So what?”

“Let me teach you something. Ever heard: ‘If you bloom, the butterflies will come’?”

Silver-suit guy was stunned. People are quoting poetry to teach romance now?

Xu Haodong beamed. “Well? Never heard that before, huh?”

“Then tell me, what does it even mean?”

“It’s like this. When you suddenly become awesome, girls will start liking you on their own.”

The man in the suit looked skeptical. “You mean like when you yelled earlier? It didn’t seem to work at all.”

“Maybe she didn’t hear it. I’ll try again.”

Xu Haodong took a deep breath and walked under the window. “Li Yifei! I’m giving you a chance. Find a way to fall in love with me!”

Splash!

All of a sudden, a bucket of water poured down from the window above.

Xu Haodong, standing right beneath, was instantly soaked like a drowned rat.

“Bro, are… are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Look, isn’t this already having an effect?”

The man in the suit gulped. “Forget it, man. I’m not really into this kind of outcome.”

Xu Haodong took another deep breath, eyes full of melancholy.

The falling flower longs for love, but the flowing water is heartless… yet the flowing water never even cared for the flower.

He could never be like Jiang Zhou, someone who moves among women but never gets entangled.

“Haodong!”

Xu Haodong jumped in surprise. “Jiang Zhou? What are you doing here?”

Jiang Zhou walked up and kicked him. “Didn’t we agree you’d stop being a simp? Why are you here again?”

“I’m not simping! I just want to find a companion for my right hand. She’s too lonely.”

“Isn’t that basically the same thing?!”

“But it didn’t work! I even made it sound super dominant!”

Jiang Zhou held his forehead, silently thinking: This guy’s hopeless. I really want to crack open his skull and see how his brain works.

The suit guy glanced back at them. “You guys chase girls as a team or something? Your methods aren’t even that good.”

Jiang Zhou shot him a glare. “What’s it to you?”

“Heh, this guy just tried to teach me. I thought he was some kind of expert.”

Seeing the sneer on the suit man’s face, Xu Haodong snapped.

Getting doused with foot-washing water was bad enough. Now he had to be mocked by some stranger?

He grabbed Jiang Zhou’s arm, grinding his teeth.

“Boss, no matter what, you’ve gotta win this round for me. I can’t lose both in love and in pride!”

Jiang Zhou coughed. “Who was the girl he confessed to earlier?”

Xu Haodong thought for a moment. “I think her name was Chu Yuwei. Why?”

“We’re gonna win her.”

Jiang Zhou walked to the window beneath Chu Yuwei’s dorm and took a deep breath.

“Chu Yuwei! I’ve got my eyes on you!

“I think you’re fairly attractive, so I’m willing to give you a chance.

“Figure out how to fall in love with me. I’m giving you three minutes!

“I hope you don’t miss this opportunity and close off your own path!”

The man in the suit scoffed even louder after hearing this, more dismissive than ever.

What the hell? Isn’t this the exact same trick?

What kind of girl would respond to this kind of confession?

Even Xu Haodong began to waver. “Boss… I just tried that. It doesn’t work.”

Jiang Zhou blew out a puff of smoke. “Just wait. Worst case, we get another bucket of water.”

“What are you guys waiting for? It’s obviously not gonna work. Move aside, don’t get in the way of my confession.” The suit guy was still mocking them at this point.

Even though neither he nor the fat guy had succeeded in getting their girls to come down…

He, at least, hadn’t been doused with water.

So he felt a sense of superiority, like he was already winning.

But right then, the motion sensor light in the hallway suddenly turned on.

Footsteps echoed.

Tap tap tap.

Chu Yuwei walked down the stairs holding a boutique shopping bag.

Her cheeks were slightly flushed. Clearly, she’d heard Jiang Zhou’s shout just now.

“Yuwei! You finally came down to see me!”  The suit guy rushed forward excitedly.

His bouquet of blue enchantress roses had been splashed earlier and now sparkled with droplets, looking even more beautiful.

Chu Yuwei paused, confused. “You… who are you?”

The man in the suit was stunned. “It’s me! ‘Arctic Bear’ on QQ! The one who says good morning and good night to you every day!”

“Oh… sorry, I don’t know you.”

“What? Then why did you come down?”

Chu Yuwei gave him a slightly apologetic smile, then stepped past him toward Jiang Zhou.

She looked up at him with her delicate and beautiful face, lightly biting her lip.

“You said three minutes. I came down in two. Impressive, right?”

Jiang Zhou flicked off some ash from his cigarette. “Just average. Next time make it one minute. I don’t like waiting.”

Chu Yuwei nodded and handed him the bag. “This is for you. I’ll head back now, okay?”

“Yeah, go on. Sleep early.”

“Okay!” Chu Yuwei walked away, turning to glance back every few steps, reluctant to leave.

At this moment, Xu Haodong was dumbfounded.

He already knew Jiang Zhou was ridiculously good with women, nearly invincible.

But he hadn’t expected this level of effectiveness.

Just knowing a name was enough to get the girl to run down.

She even brought a gift!

What the hell?!

He said the exact same thing I did!

So why did I get a bucket of dirty water instead?

And it even had a sour smell… who knows if it was from Li Yifei’s foot bath…

Meanwhile, the man in the suit holding the blue enchantress was also stunned.

That was the girl he’d been dreaming about — the one he’d gone all out to pursue for the first time.

Lots of guys at school liked her, not just him.

But as far as he knew, Chu Yuwei had never responded to any of them.

And now… he’d just witnessed something that felt like pure fantasy.

So she wasn’t cold and aloof after all.

It wasn’t that his sincerity wasn’t enough.

They’d just been going about it the wrong way!

They’d used the wrong method!

“If you bloom, the butterflies will come.”

So this… this is the real secret to chasing girls!